Bathrooms rather than Boardrooms... Female Networking

One of my dearest friends - Chelsea - and I have built our relationship in the bathroom.

I know that sounds odd but it is true.

I cannot tell you the countless conversations we have had in our 3 years as house-mates; the funny thing is that most of them have occurred in the bathroom.

Not our rooms.
Or the kitchen.
Not even our fabulous porch.

But the bathroom. There is something about the bathroom that for women creates an immediate bond and a safe haven to let the floodgates of communication burst open.

And I'm not talking just a gossip fest or make-up advice.

I'm talking stresses and successes of the day.
Crush updates.
Family dramas.
Hopes and dreams.

Chelsea and I have covered all of that and more all while applying mascara, preparing for a shower or straightening our hair and those sorts of things.

I cannot tell you how many quick trips to the bathroom to brush my teeth or paint my toes ended up being an hour-long conversation over things as minor as our exercise plan and as major as how we plan to impact the world one day.

Something tells me that boys just don't do this.

I might be wrong but take a look at any public restroom line and its pretty easy to see which gender lingers in the bathroom ;)

But it wasn't until last week at the Women in Business Conference sponsored and organized by the Center for Women that I realized female bonding in the bathroom is an effective tool for networking.

The conference - Pathways to Power - was absolutely wonderful and I met a ton of great, powerful, successful women. There were even organized sessions of speed networking much like I have mentioned before, buuuuuuutttttt the place I made the most connections and swapped the most business cards was.....

You guessed it: in the bathroom. 

Starting with a simple "cute shoes" or "I love that lip gloss" opened that floodgate of female communication and connection - aka networking.

Seriously, for women, business deals can at least be started - if not made - in bathrooms rather than boardrooms. It's a Southern Belle kinda way to do business ;)

We, as women, need to keep this in mind and take advantage of it... also, any guys reading this might want to consider the strategy (in your own bathroom, that is!).

The Ladies bathroom - a safe and solely female space - is full of opportunity for female networking.

It goes back to point of view - the next time you're stuck in a long line waiting to pee...  assuming, you aren't doing this....

you could, in all seriousness, not complain though it might be hard to do - especially if the line looks like this:

But such a situation is the perfect opportunity to make lemonade out of the lemons (or long lines) that life hands you!

Next time you're in a long bathroom line, make the most of it as an opportunity to do a little networking!

Point of View is Important - February 14th and Conception ;)

Point of view IS important.

The exact same thing can be quite different depending on your point of view.

Take this past Monday, February 14th, for example.

To most in a relationship or on the cusp of one, February 14th is Valentine's Day... full of love and chocolate and kisses.

To everyone else, February 14th is Singles Awareness Day... one of my friends recently pointed out that its abbreviation actually spells S.A.D.

Ouch.

But in reality, February 14th is just a day... it only changes with your point of view (aka relationship status).

I recently read another great example where the exact same thing changes depending on the point of view:

Conception.

Yes, for real...

Thanks to my Gender and Society textbook ;)

Here is what it said:

You've probably imagined sperm as hardy warriors swimming purposefully upstream, against the current, on a suicide mission to fertilize that egg, or die. (p29)

Right? Now, that clearly is the point of view of the SPERM. And it sounds like all I have ever heard before about conception: to quote Dori out of context from Finding Nemo, I imagine the sperm: "Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming."  All with intense purpose. Maybe even wearing helmets or goggles ;)

However, my book continues and shows a very uncommon take on conception:

Here's what it actually looks like: [A] wastefully huge swarm of sperm weakly flops along, its members bumping into walls and flailing aimlessly through thick strands of mucus. Eventually, through sheer odds of pinball-like bouncing... a few sperm end up close enough to an egg. As they mill around, the egg selects one and reels it in, pinning it down in spite of its efforts to escape. It's no contest, really. The gigantic hardy egg yanks the tiny sperm inside, distills out the chromosomes, and sets out to become an embryo. (p 29, quoting"The Aggressive Egg" by David Freeman)

Definitely different, right? That point of view clearly comes from the EGG.

Point of view IS important.

So, whether it is February 14th or conception or whatever else you're dealing with... be sure to consider your point of view - you can choose to view the situation as a glass half full or a glass half empty.

And if this past Monday got you down (or S.A.D.), at the risk of being too corny, I remind you that there are other fish in the sea and I'll leave you with this little motto from Dori, my favorite Finding Nemo character:

Lastly, I apologize if, like Nemo's dad, you get stuck with that song in your head ;)

Barbie Syndrome... even for boys

I have a love/hate relationship with Barbie.

I do like her, believe me. I had what would probably be considered too many Barbie things growing up:

• I had a small army of nearly 50 (k, maybe that is an exaggeration... 30?) Barbies - men, women, even retro ones - some of my aunts' dolls from the 70s that my Granny kept. 

• Then there was the hot pink, remote-controlled convertible. Oh yes! 

• And, the crowning glory: my 3-story, bright pink Barbie Dream-House complete with an elevator and a cat that purred from the kitchen sink windowsill. No lie.

My Barbies - even just one - provided endless hours of entertainment. 


And they also provided 

the breeding ground for body and beauty insecurities. 

For me and nearly every other girl in America.

It is no surprise really.

BARBIE WAS THE TOP-SELLING TOY IN THE 20th CENTURY!?! (1)

So she affected a lot of girls. But not in a good way.

Check out this comparison of the average woman and Barbie: (1)

                      Height:             5'4"                            6'

                Weight:            145 lbs.                      101 lbs. 

                Dress Size:       11-14                          4 

                Bust:                 36-37"                        39"

                Waist:               29-31"                        19"

                Hips:                 40-42"                       33"

Frightening right?

A more accurate Barbie might look like this: 

But would we still play with her? Want to dress her up? 

I think there should be a balance between unattainable beauty standards but also health. I'm not sure that the above picture strikes that balance but it certainly does make a point: 

Barbies don't look like real women. 

This is being dubbed "Barbie Syndrome."(1)

The odd thing is that it has started to affect boys as well. 

It seems their dolls (excuse me: "action figures"), have set some pretty high body standards as well. 

"Male action figures have grown increasingly muscular over the years. GI Joes, for example, have biceps that are twice as large as those of a typical man and larger than those of any known bodybuilder. These action figures (and comic strip heroes) put boys at risk of developing the 'Barbie Syndrome' - unrealistic expectations for their bodies. As a result, some researchers maintain, increasing numbers of men are becoming preoccupied with working out and taking dangerous drugs such as anabolic steroids" (1) emphasis added

Good, maybe people will pay attention to the problem now. 

Don't get me wrong, I still wear pink and high heels and I wouldn't mind driving a pink convertible around BUT I'd like to do that without worrying about blowing away in the wind because I don't weigh enough to be fully human and healthy. 

Also, I'd love for my future daughter one day to have a Barbie Dream-House and all that I had but 

my hope is that...

her Barbies will provide a realistic body image. 

Further, I hope that her Barbie will be arriving at her Dream-House, getting back from some fabulous job where she will be far too busy planning exciting, intelligent and more important things than to have to waste brain energy worrying over whether her business suit makes her butt look big or something shallow like that.

(1) These notes were taken from my textbook: Marriages & Families: Changes, Choices, and Constraints by Nijole V. Benokraitis, 7th ed, 2011,  p 116-117