Doing Gender, Buying Drinks - My FIRST YouTube video :)

A Little Conversation with my Mom

Mom: What are your plans for tonight?

Me: Oh, um, I'll be going out to a couple bars.    

          NOTE: this is extremely out of the ordinary for me. 

Mom: What!?! 

Me: Yea, well I have to. 

Mom: What do you mean you have to?

Me: It's for class; I'm collecting data. 

Mom: Nice try. 

Me: No, really! It is for my Gender and Society class. 

It really was. Between you and me (and the rest of the blogsphere!), I was not simply trying to pull one over on my mom. 

The Assignment

Our group project assignment called for us to examine gender out in the field. And, believe it or not, of all people, yours truly was assigned to examine gender in a field study of a bar on a downtown Saturday night. 

Most of my peers were either intensely jealous or in disbelief. 

My parents were a little confused in how this counted as education they were paying for ;) 

And me, well... 

Mind you, before this project, I could count on one hand the times I'd been in a bar on a Saturday night. Lame, I know but a Southern Belle has to maintain her classy image and that cannot be done slamming back cold ones in a bar ;) 

Our Research

Nonetheless, I've discussed before that when a grade is involved, the NERD in me wins out ;)

So the Southern Belle in me risked my class and any chance at being cool by heading out to the bars, notebook in hand. 

I kid you not. 

So my group members and I sat there observing, scribbling notes and taking interviews. Unlike most group projects, though, our research did come complete with a Tequila Sunrise - an attempt to blend in despite the aforementioned notebook which hopefully everyone was too drunk to notice.

People did notice, however, when we returned on another night with a video camera. Strange how intoxicated people flock to be recorded... a clear indication that alcohol affects your logical reasoning ;)

Lastly, we also recorded ourselves - and I had not one drop to drink so I cannot blame alcohol on that decision. So forgive my poor acting skills but our aim was to create a satire of sorts (by doing gender wrong) based on what we discovered in our research on how to do gender in a bar scene.

Our Focus

We decided clothing was too obvious: duh, girls wear less and boys wear more. Researching that would have not been very insightful to our class or you. 

Instead, we chose to focus on the gender of drinks. 

Below, you'll find our answer via a few interesting and entertaining descriptions and interviews of what drink to buy if you want a masculine, feminine, or gender neutral drink.

I hope you like it!

Oh and if you DO like it, please pass it on. For those of you who know me (and my YouTube video obsession), you know how it would please me beyond belief for this to go viral ;) 

Then we could all drink to that - in whatever gender of drink you'd like!

Men and Women AND the Purse Dilema

I have a dilemma: tonight is A Charleston Affair (kinda like the prom of college) and I don't have the right purse. It is not an issue of not having the right color or size; I simply do not have any clutch or other cocktail-appropriate purse.

So, what's a Southern Belle to do?

While I normally carry my "hockey bag" purse (see video below) which is simply too large for tonight's event, I figured I could hijack my date's pockets and have him carry my essentials (i.e. lip-gloss, ID, cell phone, etc.). But then I didn't want him to face his own dilemma (see the rest of the video below!).

Sorry for the poor quality; the content of the comedy makes up for it though!

But is he onto something? Having the guy just carry a purse?

More and more men are: according to this website, there has been a 21% increase in murses (male purses) sold in the last year.

Despite the increase, I think most would still agree that it looks odd when a man carries a purse today...

He even has a clutch like I need ;)

You may not believe it but men were actually the first ones to carry purses. According to Barbara G. H. Hagarty's book Handbags, men carried them first. Yes, I repeat:

murses preceded purses  

because men needed a bag to hold their coin money. This dates back to ancient times in Greece and Rome.

If only Charleston Affair could have come after the Center for Women's 10th Annual It's in the Bag Purse Auction on May 13th; no doubt, I could have found the perfect purse there.

But as for now, I'll have to hope my date will risk his own dilemma and carry my essentials for me :)

For your next night out, if you don't have a date or if yours won't accommodate your essentials by letting you hijack his pockets,  select your bag wisely because, as Ellen Rachlin said, (quoted in Hagarty's book):

A woman in her lifetime will spend far more hours hugging a handbag than a man. 

Ain't that the truth? ;) 

  

I Want a Wife (It's Not What You're Thinking!)

I know it has been a while since I've posted. 

And I have been busy. 

Really Busy. 

That is why I want a wife.

It is not what you're thinking: I am not turning lesbian. 

It is more like I'm turning logical: I want a wife because my to-do list remains perpetually incomplete. I scratch one thing off but somehow 2 or 3 new tasks have appeared along with the other things that remain undone.

One month remains of my college career!?! As I try to complete homework and reading and papers, I also have to find time to do laundry, buy groceries, vacuum my room, etc. etc. etc.. This on top of classes, an internship and work. Then, of course, there are the unexpected things like having to buy a new laptop, scheduling to get my wisdom teeth removed, ordering flowers for graduation, etc. etc. etc.. Oh and trying to have a social life.

That is why I want a wife. 

As I sit here in the library after midnight attempting to study for a test at 10 am and not be overwhelmed by my never-ending to-do list, I was reminded of an essay I once read called "Why I Want a Wife" by Judy Syfers. This site describes the original publication and delivery (celebrating the 50th anniversary of the 19th amendment). 

I have included the essay in its entirety below for all of y'all  - gay, straight, male, female, single or otherwise - who, like me, WANT A WIFE ;) 

I belong to that classification of people known as wives. I am A Wife. And, not altogether incidentally, I am a mother.

Not too long ago a male friend of mine appeared on the scene fresh from a recent divorce. He had one child, who is, of course, with his ex-wife. He is obviously looking for another wife. As I thought about him while I was ironing one evening, it suddenly occurred to me that I, too, would like to have a wife. Why do I want a wife?

I would like to go back to school so that I can become economically independent, support myself, and, if need be, support those dependent upon me. I want a wife who will work and send me to school. And while I am going to school I want a wife to keep track of the children's doctor and dentist appointments. And to keep track of mine, too. I want a wife to make sure my children eat properly and are kept clean. I want a wife who will wash the children's clothes and keep them mended. I want a wife who is a good nurturant attendant to my children, who arranges for their schooling, makes sure that they have an adequate social life with their peers, takes them to the park, the zoo, etc. I want a wife who takes care of the children when they are sick, a wife who arranges to be around when the children need special care, because, of course, I cannot miss classes at school. My wife must arrange to lose time at work and not lose the job. It may mean a small cut in my wife's income from time to time, but I guess I can tolerate that. Needless to say, my wife will arrange and pay for the care of the children while my wife is working.

I want a wife who will take care of *my* physical needs. I want a wife who will keep my house clean. A wife who will pick up after me. I want a wife who will keep my clothes clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need be, and who will see to it that my personal things are kept in their proper place so I can find what I need the minute I need it. I want a wife who cooks the meals, a wife who is a *good* cook. I want a wife who will plan the menus, do the necessary grocery shopping, prepare the meals, serve them pleasantly, and then do the cleaning up while I do my studying. I want a wife who will care for me when I am sick and sympathize with my pain and loss of time from school. I want a wife to go along when our family takes a vacation so that someone can continue to care for me and my children when I need a rest and change of scene.

I want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a wife's duties. But I want a wife who will listen to me when I feel the need to explain a rather difficult point I have come across in my course of studies. And I want a wife who will type my papers for me when I have written them.

I want a wife who will take care of the details of my social life. When my wife and I are invited out by my friends, I want a wife who will take care of the babysitting arrangements. When I meet people at school that I like and want to entertain, I want a wife who will have the house clean, will prepare a special meal, serve it to me and my friends, and not interrupt when I talk about the things that interest me and my friends. I want a wife who will have arranged that the children are fed and ready for bed before my guests arrive so that the children do not bother us. I want a wife who takes care of the needs of my guests so that they feel comfortable, who makes sure that they have an ashtray, that they are passed the hors d'oeurves, that they are offered a second helping of the food, that their wine glasses are replenished when necessary, that their coffee is served to them as they like it.

And I want a wife who knows that sometimes I need a night out by myself.

I want a wife who is sensitive to my sexual needs, a wife who makes love passionately and eagerly when I feel like it, a wife who makes sure that I am satisfied. And, of course, I want a wife who will not demand sexual attention when I am not in the mood for it. I want a wife who assumes the complete responsibility for birth control, because I do not want more children. I want a wife who will remain sexually faithful to me so that I do not have to clutter up my intellectual life with jealousies. And I want a wife who understands that *my* sexual needs may entail more than strict adherence to monogamy. I must, after all, be able to relate to people as fully as possible.

If, by chance, I find another person more suitable as a wife than the wife I already have, I want the liberty to replace my present wife with another one. Naturally, I will expect a fresh, new life; my wife will take the children and be solely responsible for them so that I am left free.

When I am through with school and have a job, I want my wife to quit working and remain at home so that my wife can more fully and completely take care of a wife's duties.

My God, who *wouldn't* want a wife?

My comments are just as tongue-in-cheek as the essay but I still offer this disclaimer: I do not expect to have someone do all of that for me and nor do I think anyone else should expect all of that either. It is simply unfair to expect anyone - wife or husband - to do all of that. If everyone pulled their own weight in the home then we wouldn't have wives who end up feeling like this:

So lovingly but also logically, I say to anyone stuck in a situation like my last few weeks, overwhelmed with life's to-do lists, to the point that you want a wife like the imaginary one in the essay above, just suck it up and follow this advice ;) 

And thank the wife or mom or friend or roommate who helps out with cooking your meals, cleaning your clothes, making your doctor's appointments, etc. etc. etc.