Advice from a Yogi, Anne Frank and a First Lady

If you ever want to start your day off well, go for an early morning walk with a yogi (aka someone really into yoga).

That's what I did to start off this fabulous Friday.

My yogi friend was drinking green tea and was full of positive energy... which I needed as I have been berating myself all week as I attempt to complete my grad school application which I was steadily convincing myself would never get me accepted.

She stopped me in the midst of putting myself down over failing to write a "good enough" purpose statement for my grad school application. She told me something that she had just learned in her yoga teacher training and it was incredibly profound:

"If you wouldn't say it to someone else, you shouldn't say it to yourself."

Dang.

So true.

But, how often do we - especially women - put ourselves down? Whether over body image or boys or grad school application inadequacies. 

I always work so hard at encouraging other people BUT often fail to do the same for myself. I am my own worst critic.

Well, I plan to quit it.

I invite y'all to do the same.

What if instead of telling ourselves we aren't good enough for [insert your own personal insecurity in here], we told ourselves something positive that we appreciate about ourselves?

It doesn't have to be as cheesy or high energy as this, though it is adorable and one of my YouTube favs ;)

This little girl's daily affirmations may be a bit extreme BUT what a great example of being grateful and pleased with who we are and where we are in life.

What if we started each day off the same way?

Not endlessly picking apart our "flaws" but appreciating our hair or home or whatever and telling ourselves that we "can do anything good"?

I believe that the power of positive thinking would have impressive effects.

One of which is happiness :)

My friend's positivity made me happier by the end of our walk AND, conveniently, her tea bag's tag summarized it well with this quote on the back:

"Inspiring others towards happiness brings you happiness."

Even in the midst of grad school application stress, I can find something to be happy about.

One reason I know this is because Anne Frank in the midst of putting her life on hold and hiding to avoid being persecuted or killed during the holocaust said this:

"Whoever is happy will make others happy too."

Isn't that impressive? In the midst of her rough circumstances, she chose to be happy.

Happiness is a choice.

The first ever First Lady of America, Martha Dandridge Custis Washington, said this:

 "The greater part of happiness or misery depends on our disposition, not our circumstances."

We can choose a disposition where we put ourselves down and feel miserable OR we can choose to be nice to ourselves and be happy, making others happy too.

I hope you will join my yogi friend, myself, Anne Frank and Martha Washington in choosing to be happy and thinking more highly of ourselves.

Remember, "if you wouldn't say it to anyone else, you shouldn't say it to yourself." 

The Day I Quit Saying I was "Starving"

My boss adopted a little boy from an orphanage in China earlier this year. Through his adoption process and since his son has arrived, he has been told many stories about orphanages and I have the opportunity to hear of them through him.

Monday night he shared this story:

One of his friends went to work at an orphanage in Turkey. It was in poor condition and could only afford to feed the children twice a day.Sometimes only once a day.

Every single meal was the exact same thing.

It was not what many of us would ever choose to eat: a bowl of bland, nasty oatmeal mush. My boss clarified it definitely wasn’t any apples and cinnamon kinda flavor from Quaker like we’re accustomed to.

But, these children were truly starving so they never complained or hesitated when the food was available. In fact, they would scarf it down to ensure it makes it into their own stomach before perhaps an older or larger kid could come and snag it. When these children are so hungry and eat the food so fast, it can upset their stomach and make them sick.

The next thing my boss said brought up a mental image that broke my heart and burdened my soul.

His friend witnessed a child who ate too quickly, got sick and threw up his food.As soon as that happened, without any hesitation, all of the children rushed over and began eating the child’s vomit filled with the food.

At that point my boss closed his story saying “And the day I heard that story is the last day I ever said I was ‘starving.’”

I echo his conviction.    
                                                                                        

From Monday night onward, I shall never say that I am “starving” again.

Think about how often we throw that word – “starving” – around when we’re late to eat something from our over-flowing pantries and fridges stocked full of food.

How offensive and insensitive that is.

For many of us in America and around the world, we have never come close to starving.

But, according to the World Food Program, 925 million people do not have enough to eat. They also say that 10.9 million children under five die in developing countries each year. Malnutrition and hunger-related diseases cause 60 percent of the deaths.

They are starving.

I am a word nerd as a former communication major. I believe that words and the ways we use them are powerful.

So are the ways we mis-use them. Like saying we're "starving" when we really aren't. If we are not going to donate money to fight hunger or hand deliver food to them, I think the very very least we can do is change our vocabulary to be a bit more sensitive.

I hope that after reading this, you'll join my boss and I to quit saying you're "starving." 

Meeting bell hooks, one of the "100 Visionaries Who Could Change Your Life"

Ok, so I didn't exactly meet her... ;)

BUT, I did see her and hear her talk at the College of Charleston this past Friday.

She is listed as one of the 100 Visionaries Who Could change your life, according to UTNE. In addition, she was described as one of our nation's leading public intellectuals by The Atlantic Monthly. Further, she was described by our very own CofC as one of today's top feminist scholars.

Alison Piepmeier, the school's director of the Women's and Gender Studies program, said,

"Nearly every women’s and gender studies program in the nation teaches work by bell hooks, and I think I’ve quoted her in almost everything I’ve had published."

No doubt, when quoting hooks, one has many options since she has written over 30 books!?!

The lady is obviously accomplished.

She grew up the black daughter of a janitor and a maid in the middle of a segregated, rural town in Kentucky.

Because of that upbringing, she saw and experienced a lot about the way race and gender affected her life.

And influenced it.

She has said

One powerful intervention of the feminist movement was the call to recognize identity politics–to look at the ways, race, class, gender, sexuality, religion all influence our standpoints.

I think that is so necessary. When looking at issues, I do not separate the fact that I am female or southern or Christian or feminist, etc. etc. etc. I just view the issues from my own identity that is made up of all of those facets of me and more.

One thing that I found interesting was what Piepmeier said in the article promoting hooks visit:

Everyone who attends her talk will walk away with a question she has raised that is meaningful to them.

I did walk away with a meaningful message. It was not a question but a theme that hooks kept returning to: love.

Many would expect for her as a feminist or women who promotes black women and their voices to be angry. All the stereotypes would assume that she was raging pissed at society because it can be incredibly tough in our country to grow up black and female.

However, after years of writing and speaking and reflecting on being black and female, she seems to have concluded that we all just need to love more.

In a review on Amazon of her book All About Love: New Visions, it says her book:

asserts the place of love to end struggles between individuals, in communities, and among societies.

I thought that was beautiful, especially that it breaks the assumptions and stereotypes many would have of a black feminist and what she might have to say to the world. It is not a call to hate men or white people or anyone. Nope, she just wants us to live out love.

 It makes me think back to my recent blogpost about hugs and Mother Teresa and what it says in Romans 12:

9 Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them... 10 Love each other with genuine affection and take delight in honoring each other.

I agree with the Bible and hooks on this, if we really and truly did love others, things would be better between people whether they were black or white, male or female, etc.

 Take a cue from the visionary woman bell hooks and love a little more.

Never Underestimate the Power of a Hug: little things with great love

 I'm a hugger.

Whether you're my family, a friend, even a famous person, I prefer a hug over a handshake :)

 One should never underestimate the power of a hug.

I work with cadets at the Citadel and the only physical touch they're likely to get is probably not too tender or nurturing.

I remember last year a cadet came to one of our BCM meetings and as he was leaving, I offered a hug. He told me that was the first hug he had had in 6 weeks. 6 weeks!?! I truly don't think I could function without a hug for that long :/

But so many people do... cadets at military colleges, elderly people who have lost their spouse, orphans around the world, etc.

Tonight was our first gathering this year of all our Citadel BCMers so I was handing out hugs left and right and heard again how it had been weeks since their last hug. And how nice it was to get a hug. The beautiful thing is that it is just as lovely to give a hug as it is to get a hug :)

Simple little things like a hug or a heartfelt smile or a sincere "how are you?" can have a huge impact. I love how Mother Teresa put it:

"We can do no great things, only small things with great love."

What if we didn't set out to save the world or start a company or end a disease (which are all great things, no doubt!) but, instead, started small like starting each day with the intention of doing small things in great love?

Just itty bitty ways to be big blessings.

I think it could have revolutionary impact.

Romans 12 says:

⁹ Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them... ¹⁰ Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other...¹³ When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

What if the world really lived that out?

There is no better time than now :)

So today, hug someone or give an excessive tip or hold the door or start a conversation, pray for someone, pay for someone's meal... whatever.

Love.

Be a blessing :)

Timeless Advice

"Don't date who you know you can't mate; you never know who you'll fall in love with!" 

"You have two ears and one mouth for a reason; you should listen twice as much as you talk."

"Listen to your mama; eat your vegetables; save your money, etc. etc. etc." 

Advice.
It is often handed out but how long is it remembered?
And how widely is it circulated?

Above are bits of advice I've heard growing up, but below is some advice that has been around for decades (possibly centuries) and it has traveled around the globe and been translated into several languages. 

I recently came across the advice that was given to me over a decade ago in a Christmas letter from my SIXTH GRADE (!?!) teacher. I guess you could call me a pack-rat. Or sentimental. Maybe a bit of both ;)

But, as I was leafing through old letters and notebooks and journals from school, that 6th grade letter had a poem in it that truly struck me. It was very deep for a 12 year old (I would have needed a dictionary just to understand half the words!). However, sitting there in a pile of dust and papers from the attic, reading the letter as a 23 year old, I  was impressed by how relevant the advice was.

The advice (below in the poem) is timeless.

The author and original creation date are a bit murky but there is no doubt that the letter is from another era.

I think there is something powerful about this bit of advice that it was pertinent then and still today. Hope you like it!

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. 

As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. 

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. 

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. 

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. 

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. 

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. 

Be careful. 

Strive to be happy.

© Max Ehrmann 1927

Phenomenal Documentary and Ladies Leading Change in Liberia

"The accused has been found responsible for aiding and abetting as well as planning some of the most heinous and brutal crimes recorded in human history," said Lussick [the trial's judge], who described one RUF military operation as the "indiscriminate killing of anything that moved." (1)

Richard Lussick was describing Charles Taylor who is on Africa's list of their Top 10 Dictators of all time.

Over the last 2-3 decades, he has embezzled 10s of thousands of dollars, smuggled blood diamonds and weapons, aided the Sierra Leone war, civil war in Liberia and led the maiming/murdering/raping of countless victims, among other crimes (1) (2).

I learned about some of his horrible crimes AND how a group of women removed him from power after watching the phenomenal documentary Pray the Devil Back to Hell.

The website offers this synopsis:

"Pray the Devil Back to Hell chronicles the remarkable story of the courageous Liberian women who came together to end a bloody civil war and bring peace to their shattered country.

"Thousands of women — ordinary mothers, grandmothers, aunts and daughters, both Christian and Muslim — came together to pray for peace and then staged a silent protest outside of the Presidential Palace. Armed only with white T-shirts and the courage of their convictions, they demanded a resolution to the country’s civil war. Their actions were a critical element in bringing about a agreement during the stalled peace talks.

"A story of sacrifice, unity and transcendence, Pray the Devil Back to Hell honors the strength and perseverance of the women of Liberia. Inspiring, uplifting, and most of all motivating, it is a compelling testimony of how grassroots activism can alter the history of nations."

And they did alter the history of Liberia as an instrumental force in removing Charles Taylor from power. The documentary was a beautiful story of women putting their minds to something and standing up for it through faith, unity and networking.

One of the key leaders in the peace prayer activism movement was Leymah Gbowee who later won a Nobel Peace Prize for her efforts. Further, after Gbowee's women helped remove Taylor, they helped Ellen Johnson Sirleaf win her position as the first democratically-elected female head of state in all of Africa and she too won a Nobel Peace Prize, rightfully so since

"In 2010, Newsweek magazine listed Johnson Sirleaf as one of the ten best leaders in the world; Time placed her among the top ten female leaders; and the Economist called her “the best President the country has ever had.” (3)

So, clearly Liberia is in good hands and on the rise, largely because of a group of determined women activists who were able to pray the Devil back to hell.

I highly encourage you to watch the documentary and take notes on how to make a difference in the world.

(1) CNN article - "Charles Taylor sentenced to 50 years for war crimes"
(2) PBS article - "Liberia's Uneasy Peace: A profile of Charles Taylor"  
(3) Executive Mansion - "Biographical Brief of Ellen Johnson Sirleaf"

Missing Samoa: TIS Round 2

I've been back "in the states" for a about a week now. Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying the air conditioning, friendly dogs, lack of ants everywhere, etc. but I do miss Samoa and the people l served with.

In honor of that lovely place (and after loading my nearly 1,000 photos) I have decided to write another TIS - "This is Samoa" - post:

TIS: Because it is so remote, many things have to be shipped in which raises the price way more than waht I'm used to paying at home. In fact, the one big grocery store on island was called "CostULess" but the pastor's wife always joked and called it "CostUMore," like below:

 

However, you could find some local things at very affordable prices - oh, you know, like machetes for $2.99, no big deal. In the states kids buy a snack for that price and in Samoa I saw children carrying those things around and the machete was about as big as they were!?! 

 

TIS: (1) Chillin at the beach in the rain; at home we rush off if the rain comes but not in Samoa. (2) If you look at what I'm holding, you'll see that in Samoa, the starfish are blue. I have no idea why either of these things happen there but I appreciated both :) 

TIS: This is how they do tree houses. If you can't tell, that looks out over the ocean.

TIS: Their beaches have military bunkers because since the 1940s the island has had a strong tie to the military. These bunkers are left over from WWII.

TIS: They bury their family members in their front yard. The different heights of the graves depend how high they were in the family or village hierarchy; chiefs who had the most authority got the highest graves and some were like 10 feet in the air.

TIS: Roosters and chickens were everywhere. Side-note: in case, like me, you thought roosters only crow in the morning at sunrise as every book/movie leads you to believe, I'm here to tell you that is false; they pretty much crow all day long... and into the night. Yep, at least in Samoa ;)

TIS: These were one of the snacks one day at one of our VBSes... chicken flavor chips. They also had a brand called UFOs (Unusually Flavored Snacks) that were tomato and the other flavor was burger. I am not making this up. 

 
TIS: They have waves like nowhere else I've ever seen and the water was such a gorgeous color. This was one of the most magnificent things I saw on my entire trip!

TIS: Kids here have are so spoiled needing video games and ipods and computers and games to have fun. I loved the simplicity and the JOY and the imagination in the Samoan children. One day we were playing around and they just started jumping on a tree and oh the joy! I just had to get a video of it to remind me how we don't need a lot to have fun :)

TIS: They are ridiculously athletic. These teenage boys just scaled this rock wall with their bare feet and no equipment and then jumped into the water!?! I couldn't even make it up 5 feet.

TIS: They have McDonalds but their signs say "Talofa" or "hello" instead of "enter." It was funny to see such a similar image but Samoa style.

TIS: Another hilarious familiar sight was with a Samoan twist was SpongeBob Samoan Style. He has traditional tribal tattoos on him. I guess his pineapple under the sea was located off the coast of Samoa ;)

TIS: They had very interesting local transportation. Each bus was once a truck that just had a bus built onto the back of the truck bed, and each had very original interior decorations. It made me think of Pimp My Ride! BUT, what was really cool was you could create your own stop... as long as where you wanted to get off was in the village the bus traveled through. I wish our public transportation let you pick your own bus stop... It came in very handy several times on our trip :)

TIS: They are incredibly resourceful and hardly anything went to waste. Here some ladies were scraping the bark off a local, edible root called Taro but they used the end of a vegetable can. And it worked really well.

TIS: This one was a double-whammy. So first - I'm not sure you can see but many Samoans store coins in their ear and use it to pay for public transportation. It was clever but not a sight I'm used to seeing. 2nd - notice his rat tail blowin in the wind. These are still very trendy in Samoa or have made a comback since they were big in the states or something cause a ton of guys had them.

TIS: This was one of my favorite things of the entire trip. The kids here in the states don't get into the songs; they are shy about doing the moves and don't always sing very loud. In Samoa, however, the kids sang SO  loudly and with such enthusiasm! I loved it!!!

TIS: One of the prettiest places I've ever seen with some of the kindest people I've ever met. It will always hold a special place in my heart and memories; hopefully I'll make it back one day...