Scarier than Any Halloween Movie: Nefarious

Scarier than Friday the 13th, The Exorcist, Halloween, Night of the Living Dead, etc.

Scarier than ANY Halloween movie. Ever.

What is?

Nefarious: Merchant of Souls.

It is a documentary I saw recently and the reason it is SO scary is because it isn't Hollywood.

It. Is. Real. Life.

It is an incredibly well-made documentary detailing the selling of souls. Not objects but people.

People (mostly women) who are raped multiple times a day by lots of different men.
Often trapped in the same tiny room that is basically a prison.
Treated worse than a dog.
Dehumanized.
Violated.
Sold.
Broken - body, spirit, soul.
------------
And then it happens the next day.
And the next.
And the next.
With NO END in sight.

And again, this movie isn't a made up Hollywood Horror.

It is real life for millions of people.

27 million people, in fact, who are bought and sold in modern day slavery.

Like Ordering a Pizza or Buying a Beer

In the movie, one man compared the process of purchasing women to the process of ordering a pizza. Do you want mushroom or pepperoni? The blonde or the brunette?

Oh. My. Word.

I wanted to spit in his face. People around me were sniffling and crying but I had a simmering anger stirring inside of me.

Another man in Asia owned 2,400 girls. He sold them in clubs where a beer cost $4, grapes cost $5 and for ONE HOUR, a little girl cost $3. Little girls who grow up with the horrible false reality that they can be bought for a price and a price less than a beer!?! Little girls who grow up with no sense of self-worth and no hope and no dreams of a future. Little girls who are away from family. Little girls who are sold into the slave trade by their family!?!

Cable or Your Kid

The movie described a "culture of complicity" where families see their daughters as a blessing, not because they get to love them as they raise them into a cherished young woman. Instead, daughters are blessings because they are seen as a security asset to sell if they needed more money. Frighteningly, this process of parents prostituting their daughters in human trafficking has become so common that many of them sell their daughters not because they have to but because the money their daughters can make allows for families to have luxuries like television and alcohol. Yep, keep you kid or have access to cable tv.

Moving Mannequins

Another disgusting and heart-wrenching image was in Amsterdam where prostitution is legal. Women were standing in windows displaying themselves for purchase. They looked like the mannequins in a Victoria's Secret window, only they moved. And they had faces and hearts and souls. 

And in the rooms where they worked, there was a built-in "panic button" in case their customer tried to injure or kill them. 

The website lists this fact: Up to 96% of women in prostitution want to escape but feel that they can't.  

That is not Hollywood horror; it is real life.

Other Fast Facts from the Website

• A child is trafficked every 30 seconds. – UNICEF
• Human Trafficking occurs in 161 out of 192 countries. – The United Nations
• In some countries it is estimated that 70% of men purchase sex. – Victor Malarek; The Johns
• Over 27 million people are enslaved around the world. This is more than double the number of Africans enslaved during the Trans-Atlantic slave trade. – Kevin Bales; Free the Slaves

Scary, is it not? 

I could go on for pages and pages detailing the frightening facts and insights this movie provides on the real life horror of human trafficking. Instead, I encourage you to simply watch the film yourself. 

It has won over 21 film festival honors. 

You can buy the film or host a screening. 

And then find out how you can take action because again, this film is not a made up Halloween Hollywood Horror but it is real life. 

I Did It: I Applied to Graduate School!?!

Last week I submitted my graduate school application to Vanderbilt!?!

I applied for a degree in Community Development and Action. You may never have heard of it; I hadn't.

But, once I discovered it and researched it, I fell in love with it... so much so that I am not applying anywhere else. I realize this is risky but I'm stepping out in faith because I know that if I applied to the other programs I was looking at, I wouldn't go even if I was accepted to them. If I don't get into Vandy, I'll just reapply.

That is how cool this program is :)

So, what is it?

The Program

It is technically a Masters of Education, though one does not have to teach once they graduate. The website says that

"Graduates of the CDA program can work in community organizations, governmental agencies, and development institutions. some have continued on to further post-graduate degrees in various fields; future study might include Social Work, Law, Public Health, Community Development, and social sciences such as Psychology, Anthropology, and Sociology."

You know, just basically everything I'm interested in ;) 

The focus of the program is to train

"professionals seeking to foster developmental change in human communities. We analyze development as freedom to choose among opportunities for realizing our human potential." 

I love that: helping people learn to make the most of themselves and their gifts and their passions... their human potential.

I also love the content of the program that seeks to develop the following in its students:

• competencies as a self-directed, life-long learner
• competencies in helping roles that the student may perform as a human services worker
• group relations competencies
• administrative and organizational competencies
• competencies as a change agent
• research competencies upon which all the above depend

This hits on so many of my interests: learning, helping, being with people, organizing, and making positive change.

I can hardly believe these are all rolled into one program!?!

Round 1 of Applying

The first time I started applying to graduate school was my senior year of college. I had taken the GRE the summer after my junior year, visited a couple campuses, started 3 different applications and was on my way to pursuing a PhD to become a professor in Communication and/or Women's and Gender Studies.

But, my heart wasn't in it.

I was simply applying because my parents and professors really wanted me to and I didn't have another alternative. This PhD route seemed to be a good idea because I enjoy school and teaching; however, I had intense anxiety and no peace about spending so much time, money and effort on the next 5-6 years of my life to end up with a degree and a profession I wasn't 100% certain I wanted to have.

I finally broke down and decided to take a detour from that PhD path, much to my parents' and professors' disappointment. I, however, felt incredibly free and relieved... though I had no plans for what to do instead.

Fortunately, a door was opened to allow me to work with BCM which I've been doing the last year and a half. It has provided me with a mental breather and also placed me not behind a desk or at a computer all day but in a community where I've been able to learn so much about people and myself.

Another blessing about this job is that it led me to Vanderbilt.

What Led me to Nashville

Side note for a moment: Do you remember the YaYa Sisterhood phenomenon from a few years back? Well I do, largely because I had seen it lived out my whole life in a group of ladies my mom took vacations with. They met in college and ever since, they've been getting together over the years to relive their memories and make new ones... so I call them the YaYas.

Their trips have included New York City, Vegas, San Francisco, etc. For whatever reason, in 2012, they chose to have their YaYa reunion in Nashville, a place I had always been enthralled with but never had the chance to visit. My mom, knowing my interest in the city, its music and its art scene, asked her friends if I could tag along. I was so excited to hear they said yes that I booked a plane ticket right away.

NOW, back to BCM: The very next day after I bought my plane ticket, I received an email from my boss about how BCM had a national collegiate ministry conference which is held once every 3 years. They were to meet in May of 2012 and it was the first time ever that they invited the semester missionaries/BCM interns (aka me) to come along.

It sounded like a good opportunity to learn and network and prepare to be a better BCM intern for this year so I said yes. When he sent me further details I found out that it was where???

Oh. Nashville. NBD.

And when???

Oh just the 3 days prior to when I was supposed to tag along on the YaYa long weekend reunion.

Hmmm. Handy.

Now, realizing that I was going to be in Nashville for nearly a week I thought I might go ahead and check out Vanderbilt because it is such a good school.

How I Discovered the CDA

I googled Vanderbilt and Masters of Public Administration which is what I was considering this time around for grad school since literally ALL of my internships happened to be in non-profits (not on purpose, because I chose several of the first few for writing or PR experience and they just happened to be at non-profits). 

What came up as the result of my search was the Community Development and Action program. 

I could not believe how perfect it was. 

Ephesians 3:20 has been a huge verse for me in the last couple years as things continue to happen that are better than I could ask or imagine. This was another Ephesians 3:20 moment for me because I had no clue this kind of program existed. 

It combines helping people, activism, organizing, empowering, an interdisciplinary approach where you can pursue classes that align with your passions. PLUS it is in Nashville (which I loved by the way, more than I even thought I would have)!?!

It seems too good to be true but I am hoping and praying that is not the case. 

If you pray too, please do pray that doors would open and that they would accept me... if it is the Lord's will. And if it isn't, I'm praying that he will give me peace and a plan B... much like the door to BCM opened up after my senior year. 

But, by February at the latest, I should know if I'll be heading to music city to start at Vandy!?!

Advice from a Yogi, Anne Frank and a First Lady

If you ever want to start your day off well, go for an early morning walk with a yogi (aka someone really into yoga).

That's what I did to start off this fabulous Friday.

My yogi friend was drinking green tea and was full of positive energy... which I needed as I have been berating myself all week as I attempt to complete my grad school application which I was steadily convincing myself would never get me accepted.

She stopped me in the midst of putting myself down over failing to write a "good enough" purpose statement for my grad school application. She told me something that she had just learned in her yoga teacher training and it was incredibly profound:

"If you wouldn't say it to someone else, you shouldn't say it to yourself."

Dang.

So true.

But, how often do we - especially women - put ourselves down? Whether over body image or boys or grad school application inadequacies. 

I always work so hard at encouraging other people BUT often fail to do the same for myself. I am my own worst critic.

Well, I plan to quit it.

I invite y'all to do the same.

What if instead of telling ourselves we aren't good enough for [insert your own personal insecurity in here], we told ourselves something positive that we appreciate about ourselves?

It doesn't have to be as cheesy or high energy as this, though it is adorable and one of my YouTube favs ;)

This little girl's daily affirmations may be a bit extreme BUT what a great example of being grateful and pleased with who we are and where we are in life.

What if we started each day off the same way?

Not endlessly picking apart our "flaws" but appreciating our hair or home or whatever and telling ourselves that we "can do anything good"?

I believe that the power of positive thinking would have impressive effects.

One of which is happiness :)

My friend's positivity made me happier by the end of our walk AND, conveniently, her tea bag's tag summarized it well with this quote on the back:

"Inspiring others towards happiness brings you happiness."

Even in the midst of grad school application stress, I can find something to be happy about.

One reason I know this is because Anne Frank in the midst of putting her life on hold and hiding to avoid being persecuted or killed during the holocaust said this:

"Whoever is happy will make others happy too."

Isn't that impressive? In the midst of her rough circumstances, she chose to be happy.

Happiness is a choice.

The first ever First Lady of America, Martha Dandridge Custis Washington, said this:

 "The greater part of happiness or misery depends on our disposition, not our circumstances."

We can choose a disposition where we put ourselves down and feel miserable OR we can choose to be nice to ourselves and be happy, making others happy too.

I hope you will join my yogi friend, myself, Anne Frank and Martha Washington in choosing to be happy and thinking more highly of ourselves.

Remember, "if you wouldn't say it to anyone else, you shouldn't say it to yourself." 

The Day I Quit Saying I was "Starving"

My boss adopted a little boy from an orphanage in China earlier this year. Through his adoption process and since his son has arrived, he has been told many stories about orphanages and I have the opportunity to hear of them through him.

Monday night he shared this story:

One of his friends went to work at an orphanage in Turkey. It was in poor condition and could only afford to feed the children twice a day.Sometimes only once a day.

Every single meal was the exact same thing.

It was not what many of us would ever choose to eat: a bowl of bland, nasty oatmeal mush. My boss clarified it definitely wasn’t any apples and cinnamon kinda flavor from Quaker like we’re accustomed to.

But, these children were truly starving so they never complained or hesitated when the food was available. In fact, they would scarf it down to ensure it makes it into their own stomach before perhaps an older or larger kid could come and snag it. When these children are so hungry and eat the food so fast, it can upset their stomach and make them sick.

The next thing my boss said brought up a mental image that broke my heart and burdened my soul.

His friend witnessed a child who ate too quickly, got sick and threw up his food.As soon as that happened, without any hesitation, all of the children rushed over and began eating the child’s vomit filled with the food.

At that point my boss closed his story saying “And the day I heard that story is the last day I ever said I was ‘starving.’”

I echo his conviction.    
                                                                                        

From Monday night onward, I shall never say that I am “starving” again.

Think about how often we throw that word – “starving” – around when we’re late to eat something from our over-flowing pantries and fridges stocked full of food.

How offensive and insensitive that is.

For many of us in America and around the world, we have never come close to starving.

But, according to the World Food Program, 925 million people do not have enough to eat. They also say that 10.9 million children under five die in developing countries each year. Malnutrition and hunger-related diseases cause 60 percent of the deaths.

They are starving.

I am a word nerd as a former communication major. I believe that words and the ways we use them are powerful.

So are the ways we mis-use them. Like saying we're "starving" when we really aren't. If we are not going to donate money to fight hunger or hand deliver food to them, I think the very very least we can do is change our vocabulary to be a bit more sensitive.

I hope that after reading this, you'll join my boss and I to quit saying you're "starving." 

Meeting bell hooks, one of the "100 Visionaries Who Could Change Your Life"

Ok, so I didn't exactly meet her... ;)

BUT, I did see her and hear her talk at the College of Charleston this past Friday.

She is listed as one of the 100 Visionaries Who Could change your life, according to UTNE. In addition, she was described as one of our nation's leading public intellectuals by The Atlantic Monthly. Further, she was described by our very own CofC as one of today's top feminist scholars.

Alison Piepmeier, the school's director of the Women's and Gender Studies program, said,

"Nearly every women’s and gender studies program in the nation teaches work by bell hooks, and I think I’ve quoted her in almost everything I’ve had published."

No doubt, when quoting hooks, one has many options since she has written over 30 books!?!

The lady is obviously accomplished.

She grew up the black daughter of a janitor and a maid in the middle of a segregated, rural town in Kentucky.

Because of that upbringing, she saw and experienced a lot about the way race and gender affected her life.

And influenced it.

She has said

One powerful intervention of the feminist movement was the call to recognize identity politics–to look at the ways, race, class, gender, sexuality, religion all influence our standpoints.

I think that is so necessary. When looking at issues, I do not separate the fact that I am female or southern or Christian or feminist, etc. etc. etc. I just view the issues from my own identity that is made up of all of those facets of me and more.

One thing that I found interesting was what Piepmeier said in the article promoting hooks visit:

Everyone who attends her talk will walk away with a question she has raised that is meaningful to them.

I did walk away with a meaningful message. It was not a question but a theme that hooks kept returning to: love.

Many would expect for her as a feminist or women who promotes black women and their voices to be angry. All the stereotypes would assume that she was raging pissed at society because it can be incredibly tough in our country to grow up black and female.

However, after years of writing and speaking and reflecting on being black and female, she seems to have concluded that we all just need to love more.

In a review on Amazon of her book All About Love: New Visions, it says her book:

asserts the place of love to end struggles between individuals, in communities, and among societies.

I thought that was beautiful, especially that it breaks the assumptions and stereotypes many would have of a black feminist and what she might have to say to the world. It is not a call to hate men or white people or anyone. Nope, she just wants us to live out love.

 It makes me think back to my recent blogpost about hugs and Mother Teresa and what it says in Romans 12:

9 Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them... 10 Love each other with genuine affection and take delight in honoring each other.

I agree with the Bible and hooks on this, if we really and truly did love others, things would be better between people whether they were black or white, male or female, etc.

 Take a cue from the visionary woman bell hooks and love a little more.

Never Underestimate the Power of a Hug: little things with great love

 I'm a hugger.

Whether you're my family, a friend, even a famous person, I prefer a hug over a handshake :)

 One should never underestimate the power of a hug.

I work with cadets at the Citadel and the only physical touch they're likely to get is probably not too tender or nurturing.

I remember last year a cadet came to one of our BCM meetings and as he was leaving, I offered a hug. He told me that was the first hug he had had in 6 weeks. 6 weeks!?! I truly don't think I could function without a hug for that long :/

But so many people do... cadets at military colleges, elderly people who have lost their spouse, orphans around the world, etc.

Tonight was our first gathering this year of all our Citadel BCMers so I was handing out hugs left and right and heard again how it had been weeks since their last hug. And how nice it was to get a hug. The beautiful thing is that it is just as lovely to give a hug as it is to get a hug :)

Simple little things like a hug or a heartfelt smile or a sincere "how are you?" can have a huge impact. I love how Mother Teresa put it:

"We can do no great things, only small things with great love."

What if we didn't set out to save the world or start a company or end a disease (which are all great things, no doubt!) but, instead, started small like starting each day with the intention of doing small things in great love?

Just itty bitty ways to be big blessings.

I think it could have revolutionary impact.

Romans 12 says:

⁹ Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them... ¹⁰ Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other...¹³ When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

What if the world really lived that out?

There is no better time than now :)

So today, hug someone or give an excessive tip or hold the door or start a conversation, pray for someone, pay for someone's meal... whatever.

Love.

Be a blessing :)

Timeless Advice

"Don't date who you know you can't mate; you never know who you'll fall in love with!" 

"You have two ears and one mouth for a reason; you should listen twice as much as you talk."

"Listen to your mama; eat your vegetables; save your money, etc. etc. etc." 

Advice.
It is often handed out but how long is it remembered?
And how widely is it circulated?

Above are bits of advice I've heard growing up, but below is some advice that has been around for decades (possibly centuries) and it has traveled around the globe and been translated into several languages. 

I recently came across the advice that was given to me over a decade ago in a Christmas letter from my SIXTH GRADE (!?!) teacher. I guess you could call me a pack-rat. Or sentimental. Maybe a bit of both ;)

But, as I was leafing through old letters and notebooks and journals from school, that 6th grade letter had a poem in it that truly struck me. It was very deep for a 12 year old (I would have needed a dictionary just to understand half the words!). However, sitting there in a pile of dust and papers from the attic, reading the letter as a 23 year old, I  was impressed by how relevant the advice was.

The advice (below in the poem) is timeless.

The author and original creation date are a bit murky but there is no doubt that the letter is from another era.

I think there is something powerful about this bit of advice that it was pertinent then and still today. Hope you like it!

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. 

As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. 

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. 

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. 

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. 

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. 

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. 

Be careful. 

Strive to be happy.

© Max Ehrmann 1927