9 Words Women Use - a little humor for ya ;)

I wish I could say I wrote this but I just came across it in a chain email so Lord knows who the author is. Even though I cannot pass along the credit to the clever person who created this, it was just too funny so I had to share it with y'all.

I hope you enjoy...

9 Words Women Use

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. "Five minutes" is only actually five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the football game before helping around the house.

3. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

4. A Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing there and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer quickly to No. 9 for the meaning of "nothing.")

5. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

6. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question or faint. Just say "you're welcome." (I want to add a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" - that will bring on No. 7).

7. Whatever: This is a woman's way of saying "F--- YOU!"

8. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to No. 4.

9. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in "Fine;" (Refer back to No. 1 for the meaning of "fine.").

As a woman, though I hate to admit it, I would have to attest to the accuracy of much of what you see above... as do all of my female friends.

So, guys: take notes!!!  ;) 

Again, disclaimer: other than some editing and adding emphasis on certain sections, I did not write the 9 Words That Women Use and I don't know who did. It can be found all over the internet by simply searching the title. Let me know if you discover the author!