You Might Be a Redneck If... a daddy helping his daughter out

I recently freaked my parents out over Thanksgiving.

I told them all about the sketchy people that have been around my house lately: this strange man who walked his dog down our driveway, a homeless man who sleeps on our porch and one who came and beat on my door. Oh and my drug dealer neighbor with his creepy clients. Yea.

Needless to say, my parents were concerned.

And then they insisted on my need to carry some mace or pepper spray. Though my mom has been saying that for months since I moved into this house that sits off the road in the dark end of a parking lot, this time I agreed.

So after Thanksgiving, forget the fun fashion finds and such most people were shopping for on Black Friday. We set off in search of some pepper spray.

We went to a local hardware store, Walmart, Lowes - even an Army Supply store - but all to no avail.

My Daddy even called his friend who is a cop to see where we could get some but he couldn't reach him before I left home.

Then, I kid you not, as I was packing up my car to head back, my Daddy presented me with this:

Your eyes do not deceive you. That is, in fact, Raid wasp and hornet killer.

I don't want to talk bad about my Daddy but it has to be said:

You might be a redneck IF you give your daughter wasp spray in place of mace.

Right?

And I wish I could say he was joking but he was 100% serious. He told me that the stuff has blown back in his face when he was working in the yard and he was sure that if someone came up to me, this would do the trick to get them away.

He even made me do a practice spray so I could see how far it would shoot. And sure enough the can shot to a tree nearly 20 feet away!

While the spray seemed to be effective, it wasn't quite what I had in mind.

For one, it was 14 ounces!?! And nearly a foot tall.

Not quite purse-appropriate.

I tried to gently deny the Raid telling my daddy I was hoping for something I could tuck away into my purse or attach to my key-chain.

But he was insistent. He told me I could just tote it back and forth between my car and the house at night. To that I asked if it could be left in my car.... I didn't want that pressurized can exploding in the heat or anything.

He told me it would be fine and tried to give me a second can to bring back for my roommate. At this, I was the one who became insistent and told him that just one can of Raid would be enough, that she would probably prefer the real thing.

And, the real thing, I am happy to report is now what I have.

My wonderful friend Nathan saw my Raid can near the front door when he came to hang out today which led to me sharing what I have just shared with you. And, it just so happens that in his spare time Nathan goes to shoot at the local gun range. (Maybe he's a redneck too? Just kidding!)

Anyways, he said that not only did the gun shop have purse-appropriate, pocket-sized pepper spray, THEY EVEN HAD IT IN COLORS INCLUDING PINK AND PURPLE!!!!!!!! How perfect!

Now, thanks to him, I am the proud owner of this:

It is only about 3 inches tall... smaller than some of my lip glosses! And, in case you can't tell, it's purple :)

Now... if I could only figure out how to operate the thing....?