Leaving My Mark - an awkward way to start my day

I was raised not to air my dirty laundry in public BUT this story was just too funny not to share. However, I feel the need to provide fair warning that this blogpost involves a story about my underwear so if you find that offensive or over-sharing then don't read any further.

For the rest of you who are hooked, here is an awkward little life update on how I started my day ;)
 
(First, a little background info)


I recently bought several new pairs of panties because there was an irresistible deal the last time I went to the mall. That seems innocent enough BUT the problem is I don't own a washer or dryer. As a result, my laundry is done infrequently and in large loads.

I was not about to waste one of my rare opportunities to do laundry by just washing panties. So, instead, I washed them with warm water and soap in the sink in my bathroom to avoid them bleeding their color all over the rest of my clothes and staining them whenever I did do laundry next.

(K, enter the awkwardness of this morning)

NOTE TO SELF/ALL OF YOU: Apparently, washing new panties in the sink does NOT prevent their color from bleeding.

They can still stain your clothes. And also your toilet seat. And even you.

Yes.

I came back from a run this morning and went to the bathroom before I hopped in the shower. Although, I wasn't so quick to hop in the shower because when I finished peeing, I noticed that my toilet seat was black.

And that black spot was in the shape of my rear-end.

Yes, I left my mark in the form of a black butt print on my toilet seat. Real Life.

I was so confused and then I realized that my underwear had stained ME!?! Literally, my body. My entire rear-end looked like a giant bruise from where the black dye of my new panties had left its remnants in my skin... all I can guess is that maybe sweating while running made that happen...?

BUT (butt?), how unfortunate.

My roomies and any visitors to our house would see the mark which revealed more than I cared to share with the world about how big my booty was. [One of my roomies asked if I would take a picture for this post. Haha, funny joke. No.]

Even though I was already behind schedule from my run, I thought I had to clean this up... erase this embarrassing mark before my roomies woke up. With my black butt print staring up from our white toilet seat, I set into my cleaning mode.

I tried to wipe it off with warm soap and water. That was a fail.

Then I thought, oh maybe face wash would do the trick. Nope.

Toner? I'm afraid not.

At this point, I'm getting a little alarmed.

I figured I would just go for the big guns and ran to the cleaning cabinet to get our Clorox spray assuming that surely that would clear it right up.

Even. That. Did. Not. Work.

Flustered, but now 20 minutes behind schedule, I just left it saying a prayer that the steam from my hot shower might help...

Then, in the shower, I had to tend to my rear-end.

I scrubbed. And scrubbed. And scrubbed.

I used a washrag and a loofah.... even a pumice stone meant for your feet.

I tried shampoo, facewash, exfoliating body wash, bar soap.

Alllllllllllllll to no avail.

With my rear-end rubbed raw, I finally gave up and got out of the shower to tackle the toilet seat.

Sadly, it was still as dark as the second I saw it.

And then, I just had to laugh. I mean, really, what else could I do?

By this time, my roomies were up so I shared the story with them and we all laughed.

Sarah Grace had struck again. I don't know how I get into these situations but I do.

We determined that I now have the cleanest butt in town. As for our toilet seat... that is another story.