Vanderbilt Shmanderbilt Degree - A Large Slice of Humble Pie at the Temp Agency & the DMV

Earlier this month, I received a Masters degree from Vanderbilt. This was technically my third degree because I double-majored in undergrad.

Don't let the degrees fool you though. It seems I'm just book smart because I've been struggling recently with real life. 

Adult life is humbling. 

I wasn't getting too big for my britches with this additional degree but, nonetheless, I've had a huge slice of humble pie since moving to NC. I thought tests and grades ended with grad school but I was wrong. 

Trouble with the Temp Test

First, I went to a local temp agency to try to get a job to pay the bills and buy some time until I can land the "dream job" I'm searching for... you know the one I just went into debt trying to prepare myself for ;) I don't want to rush into the first salaried job that I find. 

Well, what do ya know... I failed the temp agency test. Yep. I repeat: Vanderbilt Masters Grad failed the temp test ;) 

It was true-false and you can only miss 3... but I missed 4. 

I'm sure this was hard to imagine butttt I was talking the whole time while taking it ;) I've been cooped up in my apartment alone and unpacking all day every day so my extroverted self has been losing my mind without much social interaction. 

As a result, I was just chatting away with the man who worked there and wasn't paying enough attention nor was I trying too hard with the test. It seems I don't multi-task too well when trying to determine "the best placement of my feet to avoid lumbar strain" and the other random questions that were on their test ;) 

Fortunately, I was able to retake it and did fine. Also, my typing speed was double the average applicant (it seems writing long grad school papers paid off!) so I believe I should land a secretary job here soon enough. 

Feeling Dumb at the DMV

I need a NC drivers license so I had to make the dreaded trip to the DMV. Why must all DMV workers be so mean? I understand it may not be the best job in the world but this lady was extremely rude. 

Still craving social interaction and never having met a stranger, I sat down being all friendly and noticed the woman was wearing palmetto tree earrings so I asked if she was originally from SC. She wasn't but it turns out she had just visited Charleston where she bought the earrings as a souvenir. I tried to chat about the city but she was having none of it. 

This lady was all about the task at hand. We struggled through insurance and verifying my address and all of that. Everything was going along per usual until we got to the vision test. 

NC does not do it like they do in SC and TN. 

I already struggle with my awful vision and have to squint through that weird machine and the germaphobe in me fears I will get a breakout from putting my face on there - I mean how often do they wipe those things down?? 

Anyways, I managed to read all the tiny letters. But then, this is where it got different: NC has a bunch of the street signs that you have to identify.

I did fine on the median one and the one warning about the steep hill. They were obvious.  

 

But, then there were 4 or 5 blank ones.... 

I just told the lady the shapes because I was thinking this was still a vision test. 

She said, all mean and condescending, "I know what the shapes are but what are the signs?"

Perhaps I was having performance anxiety as I had not prepared for this OR maybe I was just having a PTSD-esque flashback to my 15 year old self worried about failing the drivers permit test but, either way, I just couldn't remember them. 

All I could say was "I'm sorry. I don't know." 

But I was getting frustrated and wanted to also say, 

"Look lady. Those aren't signs. Those are shapes. Because they are blank. And when is the last time anyone has ever seen a blank sign on the side of the road? Oh that's right - never. Because then it wouldn't be a sign. Because that is the point of signs: they have symbols on them that convey meaning. But these little shapes you're asking me to identify are blank so they are not signs." 

But, of course, my southern belle self just sat there, humbled, and politely repeated, "I'm sorry. I don't know." 

As I said in the blogpost title" Vanderbilt Shmanderbilt Degree" ;) It wasn't much help at the temp agency or the DMV!

Do YOU know what the yellow circle sign is for? 

Fortunately, I guess they don't take the test too seriously or perhaps that mean woman just didn't want to have to see me again on a different day or whatever because she gave me my license. 

What she did NOT give me though, were the answers to the blank signs. 

The nerd in me had to find out. 

Turns out, (in case you too didn't know) the yellow circle sign is a railroad crossing sign: 

But you know what gives that away??? 

The R and the R and the cross/X that is marked ON the sign... not the yellow and the circle part. Jeeze Louise. 

The house shaped yellow sign is a school crossing and the oblong yellow triangle (that I have never seen in my entire life) is supposed to be a "no passing zone" sign. I don't even remember what the other one or two signs were. 

But that lady was being so mean and rude and I was caught off-guard by the blank "signs" section that I wanted to submit this as my answer: 

I don't think that would have helped me walk out of there with a license though ;) 

Hopefully I don't have to eat any more humble pie but I will keep y'all posted... 

  

Four iPhone Fails

Santa brought me an iPhone 4s for Christmas.

I am grateful, truly, BUT me and gadgets don't always get along. Since my daddy - who is also not super tech savvy - has been managing to operate his iPhone, I figured I had a shot.

Hmm. Silly me.

Here are four (and probably only the first of many) iPhone fails that I have had:

1. "Mass" Text Mix-up

This first fail happened literally within minutes of me activating my phone. I sent a message as soon as I got into my car after leaving the store.

First, I have a confession to make: I send mass text messages. Yes. Judge all you want.

I know some people think it is poor etiquette to send the same message to multiple people but I simply found it incredibly convenient when setting up when to meet for dinner, who I need to drive to church, sharing updates about boys or redneck weddings, etc. etc.

Well apparently, some of those people who are anti mass-text-messages work for apple and they have imposed their own moral messaging code on iPhone 4s users. It seems (at least to my tech-savvy-impaired self) that one cannot send a mass text message without revealing all recipients and their responses to the group.

Yes, it seems that instead of a "mass text message" like I had on my old phone, the iPhone has a "group message system."

I learned this the hard way with the very first text message I ever sent out on my iPhone.

I simply said "Guess what is exciting about this text?" and sent it to 3 of my friends who I know own iPhones.

PS - 2 of those friends are boys.

My girl friend who I sent it to responded first with this:

"I'm guessing either (a) it came from your new iPhone or (b) you just got a text from [she used the name of my current crush whose identity shall stay a secret ;)] and you're texting me to tell me about it"

 Both a and b were good guesses ;)

Then I responded to her AND, unbeknownst to me, my 2 guy friends with:

"I wish it was option b ;) but it is option a :)"

And not long after, I got this text from one of my guy friends:

"Woo hoo for an iPhone"

I was confused because he wasn't supposed to know I had an iPhone... that was why I sent out the exciting text. My girl friend and I had already discussed me getting an iPhone but he was supposed to be surprised. So I texted back to him:

"Hold on. Did you just take a lucky guess that I got an iPhone or did you see a message about options..?"

To which he responded:

"Both :)" 

I thought, "Crap!" And then I thought, "Praise the LORD I didn't send this to my crush!"  That would have been awkward.

No more mass text messaging for me!

2. No Alarm

My second iPhone fail was within 24 hours of owning the phone. I got it at 7pm on Thursday night and then by 9am on Friday, I was supposed to be up, showered and hitting the road to visit my brother in the upstate.

That would have happened if I had correctly set my alarm.

Instead, at 10 am I awoke to find that I had either snoozed it (which is unlikely since I was not familiar with the phone) or silenced everything including the alarm the night before or maybe I set it for pm instead of am...? I still, frankly, am unsure of what precisely I did.

But I do know I did not wake up on time. Fail.

3. Mistext 

Next, I was trying to get fancy and use the microphone to tell Siri what to text to my friend Nathan. However, I was suffering from a cold so either my congestion or simply the fact that I always talk too fast and my words run together made Siri mistext my message. 

See below (I'm in green and he is in white): 

Note - Nathan knows me and the iPhone well enough to understand what I was saying even though Siri didn't. Also, note that I did not learn from my mistake in the first message on the top right; my second to last response says "seen" instead of "soon." Hopefully I will figure this out SOON enough :) 

4. Sweet Landing

If you have known me or followed this blog long enough, then you are well aware of the fact that I am a klutz. As such, you probably are not surprised that one of my fails included me dropping the phone.

However, I outdid myself.

I didn't simply drop the phone, I dropped it into a plate of cake.

And, I couldn't have dropped it on the glass part or the section covered by the $40 case that I bought,  no, that would have been too easy to fix.

Instead, I dropped it on the bottom where the teeny tiny sliver of exposed important parts that plug the phone into its charger were vulnerable to be coated in cake icing.

I tried to wipe it off with a napkin and even poked at it with a plastic fork but all to no avail. There was a resilient glob of yellow butter-cream icing making itself at home.

Fortunately, my friends' parents operated on my phone with a bit of compressed air and some toothpicks. I'm happy to report it is up and running, free of any icing or cracks.

Good as new :)

Which is a good thing because I haven't even owned the phone for two weeks!

Fingers crossed for no more iPhone fails but I'll keep ya posted if any more occur...