A Little Ring is a Little Thing... with BIG Social Assumptions: My fake fiance and facebook's reaction

Here it is, the picture that started this:

You see, a little ring is a little thing but it has very big social assumptions. And that bit of bling absolutely BLEW up my facebook, which led to this blogpost.

Last weekend I was with my redneck family in Arkansas and that always makes for fun and interesting times, like this...

So we were at a bar - which probably doesn't surprise you - but it wasn't a redneck, rowdy place like you might picture. We were keepin' it classy at a wine bar called 

And after one too many glasses, my redneck family came up with an idea - aka my fake fiance.

You see, "what had happened was".... quite innocent at first.

My aunt recently had her 25th wedding anniversary and upgraded her engagement ring to this:

2.5 carats of pure sparkly goodness.

Naturally, all the ladies wanted to try it on. But it was kinda like Cinderella and the glass slipper: it didn't fit until...

I tried it on. And, voila, it fit just perfectly. Unfortunately,  unlike Cinderella, I wasn't able to keep it and it didn't come with a prince :/

Not a real one anyways. 

Since the ring fit, my redneck family took a picture. Then, my uncle suggested/peer pressured me to put the picture up on facebook.

My response: "Do you know the uproar that would cause!?!"

BUT THEN... the wheels started turning...

What would happen?

They thought it would be funny.

I thought it would be interesting - just what kinda reaction would I get?

So there began the experiment.

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 Within a minute, I had my first response: "Excuse me what!?!"

And then, the FIRST PERSON to like it - I am not kidding - was my pastor at my homechurch.

He gets on facebook like all of once-a-month. Mind you, my daddy was not on this trip and it was Saturday night. Therefore, the next morning I feared my daddy would hear "congratulations" at church and not have the slightest clue about what I had gotten into... While my relatives thought this was just hilarious, a bit of fear overtook the funniness for me at that point as I was thinking my whole church and then hometown would hear of my "engagement" because news travels fast in small-town-South-Carolina :/

And it seems news travels even faster on facebook.

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Within an hour I had about 25 "likes" and 20 or so comments. When all was said and done, it got up to 35 "likes" and almost 30 comments.


Because of one little ring... and a big social assumption.


Some of my favorite comments were:

"Lucy, you got some 'splainin' to do!!!!!! ;)"

"Danggg somebody put a ring on you haha"

And this one from my uncle who was adding fuel to the facebook fire:

"Sarah, I'm so happy for you two... Congrats!"

People were:

• congratulating me
• offering to plan my wedding
• feeling left out because I had not told them about "the guy" sooner
• a little suspicious/doubtful and wanted some details

Once I got over the itty bitty sting of people's disbelief at my having "found a man", some of my favorites from the suspicious people were:

"gasp! for real? :D Congratulations!"

"whaaat is going on?! obviously we haven't hung out in a long time!"

"omg i almost just fainted."

 And my personal favorite:

"Color me cynical, but I somehow don't believe this fish decided it needs a bicycle yet."

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But, I myself was shocked that everyone fell for the photo. 

So many of my friends accepted one facebook photo as truth. 

One minute's worth of minimal facebook stalking would uncover that:

1. I was not even listed as "in a relationship" much less "engaged to" anyone
2. I didn't have oodles of couple pictures for my profile picture... not even one
3. My other photos didn't document me with the same guy over and over... I guess my friends thought I fell in love-at-first-sight instead of dating someone for an extended amount of time???
4. And then there was this, a picture posted shortly after the ring pic... I'm nowhere near a man, and there isn't one my age in the picture. NOTE for friends/facebook stalkers in the future: I will show off the man more than the ring ;)

I guess my friends are just not as adept at facebook stalking as I thought they would be...? 

Anyways, the next morning I came clean and commented on the picture, admitting that it was not announcing a new engagement:

"Hahahaha! Thanks for all the comments; didnt mean to make yall feel outta the loop.

"But what happens in Arkansas stays in Arkansas ;) JUST KIDDING!!!

"I did not get engaged but I did just do a lil experiment. Blogpost coming soon - and hopefully a 2.5 carat ring like that too ;)"

But that has not been the end of it.

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I cannot tell you the amount of people who have asked me or my close friends "Is there something you forgot to tell me?" or "Is Sarah really engaged?"

And it wasn't just my friends or facebook friends.

No. That one picture - that social assumption - that facebook fire - spread to co-workers, former professors, old Sunday school teachers, distant relatives, loose acquaintances.... even this random encounter:

I was at home for a few days over spring break and in a local store. I saw a lady staring  me down as I passed her in the aisle and when she followed me into the next aisle, she asked: "You're that girl from facebook, the one with the ring picture, right?"

No lie.

Blushing a bit, I owned up to it and said, "Yep, that's me." Turns out she is my facebook friend but I cannot even remember why; she owns another store in town and I think I liked her facebook page to try and win a giveaway or something like that. I definitely do not know her well at all. BUT that bling was bright enough to catch her eye and even she took note of it long enough to recognize me days later in passing. Wow.

One. Little. Ring.

Who knew it could make that big of an impact.

They always say a picture is worth a thousand words... but they never said if those words were fact or fiction ;)

They also say, never to assume because when you do, you make an a$$ out of me and you.

Seems that is quite the case. My facebook friends fell for my photo of a fake engagement but now I'm pretty sure I'm going to deal with explaining it for quite some time ;)

Your Eyes May be Too Sexy... in Saudi Arabia

It is often said that eyes are the window to the soul.

What happened if we had to hide them - our eyes, our souls, our selves?

Well, women in Saudi Arabia may have to.

Late last year, there was a push for women with "tempting eyes" to cover them.

In case you don't know, they already have nearly every other part of themselves covered. A young Saudi woman describes the clothing of Saudi women in this blogpost.

The blogger describes the different pieces of clothing (the abaya and the niqab) and their history (in relation to religion but also class) and the variations (black, earth tones, etc.) available for Saudi women.

She also discusses the reasoning for them originally and today: "to protect women from acts of disrespect."

Funny how that is done by hiding the women rather than educating or reprimanding the men...?

The Washington Post also discusses the issue of women and their freedom in relation to what they wear and how that affects their job and marriage options. That article even discusses whether women can have bangs or wear makeup!?!

As I sit here blogging, I am wearing makeup and rockin bangs with my face, arms and ankles fully exposed. Scandalous? Apparently it would be in Saudi Arabia.

But exposing your eyes scandalous? What is left to cover up? Are they just going to erase women from public life... just hold them captives in their own home???

The group that has the say so for whether that will happen and if women's eyes will in fact be covered up is the Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice. This article details what the committee has done and what they want to do regarding women's tempting eyes:

The CPVPV is Saudi’s Sharia, Islamic law, executive arm and was founded in 1940 to ensure Islamic laws are not broken in public, yet over the years, the committee has been largely criticized over its human rights violations.

In 2002, the committee refused to let female students out of their burning schools in Mecca for “not wearing the proper head cover,” which contributed to a large number of dead.

15 young girls died in the fire and dozens more were injured. The CPVPV men banned the firemen and policemen from accessing the girls as “it is not okay for girls to be seen without their full Islamic dress in front of strangers.”

Crazy.

BUT, that is their culture and religion and just because I don't want that, doesn't meant that they don't.

That is why I appreciated this approach from the Nude Revolutionary Blogger: she pushed not for doing away with their culture BUT to do away with the gender inequality. She called not for women to no longer wear the headscarf but for "men in the country to wear the headscarf in solidarity with women."

And what was the reaction...? She had to shut her page down because of so many complaints and threats. It seems the need to cover women's bodies is less about purity and more about power - power of men over women. 

I can't find anywhere listing the law as in effect so hopefully it never came to fruition. But still, the thought that this was/is an option to oppress women and literally hide them, their eyes, their souls, their selves is frightening.

Not to mention, how would they determine who had tempting eyes??? Yet another thing for women to feel insecure about - those with their eyes exposed in public have that freedom which is good but they would have that freedom with the knowledge that their eyes are ugly/unseductive.

Then, lets say they do have the pretty/seductive eyes, what do they do when their eyes are covered? How do they see? How do others recognize them? This comic presented the problem in a clever way:

Moral of the story: we are soooooooooooo lucky here to have all the freedoms we take for granted every day... even what we wear.

Also, we should pay attention to women around the world who don't have those freedoms. And we should do something about it... Here is the Nude Revolutionary's blog if you want to check it out!

Why Don't We PLAY More?

The art of play seems to fade with age.

I wish it wouldn't.

Babysitting I've noticed how kids don't need much to play.

Sure they have elaborate multi-piece, battery-requiring, noise-making, moving toys BUT those aren't their favorite toys. They may play with them for a phase until the newness wears off.

Then it seems they return to the classics like their building blocks, hot wheels, barbies, etc.

Better yet is when they don't even use real "toys" but instead...
Turn pots and pans into a drum set.
Or sticks in the yard into toy swords.
Or their blanket becomes a cape draped over their shoulders or a fort draped over the living room furniture.
Or a string of their mom's pearls transforms them into a runway model.
Or a cardboard box suddenly becomes a ship sailing the seven seas.

Imagination.

It's a beautiful thing.

And it seems to fade along with playing as we age.

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Thank God for my job.

It is keeping my imagination and play alive :) 

Though I am a college graduate, I am not stuffed in a suit in a cubicle in the grown-up world of all work and no play.

Instead, this is my job: http://youtu.be/TMs0faqeb5U 

And a short while later note the destruction in the middle of the floor and how our bunkers and shields had expanded: http://youtu.be/CRGfEOqq6AM

How did this happen?

Perhaps it was simply because it was well after midnight and we did have students there from the local military college so they are actually trained for war. But, mostly, I think it was just that mixed with imagination. And fun.

We all started PLAYING.

One minute we were sitting around chatting and the next someone discovered the box of foam darts that were freebies at the conference we were attending. Before we knew it, tables were overturned and sides had been chosen and attacks had started.

It was definitely one of the highlights of our trip.

There is something fun, no doubt, about a board game or sports BUT it just isn't the same as playing with your imagination.

Where there are no rules.
No structure.
No limits.

You just dream up whatever you want.

And it is contagious.

The dart war started with just a handful of us but by the end everyone in the room had joined in.

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The same thing happened last night.

Not a dart war but pure, unplanned play. 

Some students and I were hanging out after an event and there was a lot of leftover Conversation Candy Sweethearts from Valentine's day.

Let's be real, no one really eats those anyways, right? They're kinda like colored chalk?

BUT, you do eat them if they become part of a game where they are tossed into your mouth... which is precisely what we did.

It was a relatively subdued activity at first with just a few guys trying to toss them and catch them in their mouth. However, soon they started throwing them faster or farther or to different people.

Or after they'd already fallen on the ground. Then there was synchronized throwing and catching. There was a monkey in the middle of sorts where people popped in on a toss intercepting someone else's candy heart.

Soon, everyone became involved. And laughed. And smiled. Played. Had fun.

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I hope that wherever you are - in college, in the "real world," with kids of your own, whatever - that you don't get stuck being too serious. 

I hope you stoke your imagination and play a little everyday. 

Life's too short to be too serious. 

And playing is priceless ;) 

Southern Belle Feminist Takin' the Capitol.... tryin' out politics

On Tuesday, February 24th, I headed to the capitol... of South Carolina to shake things up.

It was a start.

And so empowering.

About 50 of us - mostly women  but a few guys as well - showed up bright and early at the State House to lobby against human trafficking.

You may remember my post explaining when Passion put it on my heart. But I didn't just want my heart to be heavy and sink - along with the urgency I felt to "do something now" as they had encouraged all of us in attendance while we were in Atlanta.

Fortunately, this perfect opportunity to maintain the pull on my heart and my urgency for action presented itself through some email correspondence with a former professor of mine. She welcomed me and another friend from Passion to tag along with her to lobby in Columbia.

I was slightly intimidated because I had never done this before.

But, ANYONE can do it.

Polaris project was there to give us a bit of training but most of it was simply us - strength in numbers - just going and sharing our thoughts with our congress people.

Some striking things the Polaris organizers and some SC lawyers shared with us were:

• People - especially in South Carolina - seem to think that slavery is a thing of the past when everyone lived in plantations. False. It is alive and flourishing today with more slaves on the planet RIGHT now than in ALL of human history. 
• South Carolina is a particularly ideal area for traffickers because we have so many highways, water access points AND (something I'd never thought of) privately owned planes and boats that utilized by traffickers because they are not as regulated as larger vessels where most authorities assume people are smuggled. 
• People tend to think this is just a problem for foreigners who just happen to be in our country. Ok. A) So what. They are still people and deserve to be fought for... this is a humanity issue, not an American or Indian or Thailand or (insert any country's name here) issue. And, B) This problem is affecting Americans. Polaris estimates that as many as (and probably more than) 100,000 native-born children are trafficked within our borders and most between the ages of 11 and 14. Vulnerable children on the streets or in broken homes and sometimes from just next door in a white, wealthy, suburban home. 

A poster we had that day

 

After sharing with our congressmen or their staff  in their offices as well as anyone looking important that we passed in the statehouse/elevator/outside/etc. (which I promise we tried to do in the least annoying way possible but some things are worth nagging over!), we headed to a press conference.

After that, we simply sat on the steps of the State House reading victims' stories. It was so powerful.

And we were all given a piece of purple duct tape to wear on our wrist as a visible reminder and a conversation starter for people held in "chains" whether metal or manipulation. However, one woman made quite a statement by walking around the grounds wearing a piece of that duct tape over her mouth, representing the silence of the victims that go unnoticed by so many of us.

The most exciting thing?

Before we left that afternoon, we heard that the bill (H3757) which had been basically stagnant since it was introduced almost a year previously, was pushed through the house and onto the senate floor!?!

Our voice was heard.
The victim's stories, names, and pain were heard.
Action was taken.
Change was made.

Now the fight is by no means over. However, SC was previously in the bottom 9 of the states to have legislation on this issue and if this is fully voted in, we will be one of the most comprehensive states in the nation.

So now we've got to raise our voices and the victims' voices to the nation.
Join me.
To raise YOUR voice, reach out to your own congressperson: http://www.fyi.legis.state.us/

And, maybe I'll head to THE capital next... Anyone wanna join me in DC?

Pretty legit with all the flags and everything right??? There was an open podium so we tried it out ;)

Help end human trafficking.

Dreams Do Come True: my run-in with Anderson Cooper

Anderson Cooper = The Silver Fox.

And my celeb crush.

I met him on Friday!?!

I know most people like the super buff, beautiful young Hollywood it-guy.  Butttttt, I adore the nerdy news anchor and I'm ok with that :)

Listen, I know he is old (and quite possibly/probably gay) but I don't care.

He is so smart and funny and then there are those beautiful blue eyes of his.

And the gray hair. He totally rocks it.

I have been a loyal fan of his for years now.

I have seen some Channel One days annnndddddd his giggle melt-down that is quite possibly the most adorable thing I have ever seen + it has oodles of witty puns that you cannot help but appreciate, I promise:

Seriously, if I'm having a bad day, I just watch this and it makes ME giggle!

Having said all of that, I cannot express to you the giddiness I felt upon hearing that he - the one and only Anderson Cooper of AC360 - was coming to Charleston.

 A lot of students showed up despite that it was the start of the weekend and a little rainy:

But, have no fear, I showed up early so I was in the front row :)

I got an up-close and personal look at his super cute self and was near enough to hear him:

Oh, ANNNNNNNDDDDDDDDD near enough to get a hug. Yes, a hug!

He was coming around and shaking hands but when he got to me I said, "Can I have a hug? I'm a hugger. Can I have a hug?" And he said, "A hug?" And I said, "Yes" with my arms out.

Then. He. Leaned. In. And. Gave. Me. A. Hug.

Naturally, I squealed.

Unfortunately, it was mid-hug and, therefore, directly in his ear. I just couldn't help myself. This was my reaction just seconds afterwards; I hate that I had not thought to give my camera to a friend nearby to document this but, take my word for it: the hug happened =D

 

It was interesting seeing how the show happened but most of all it was interesting seeing Anderson Cooper during the commercial breaks. 

He was so nice and funny and relaxed. He gave hugs and signed books. He chatted and checked what he think were his tweets or texts. At one point he eve spoke on the phone to a girl's mom who didn't believe her daughter really had met him. 

As if I wasn't already on cloud 9, it got even better when he started taking pictures with people after the show. That is when his true kindness and patience shined because I would have been claustrophobic and cranky:

See his little white head and glowing eyes in the top right of the crowd? Crazy, right?

But he was so gracious and friendly to all of us, posing and smiling for countless photos, including this one with me and my friend Susie:

Isn't he dreamy??? ;)

I feel like this was a dream. But, fortunately, it wasn't.

He did in fact visit College of Charleston (which he said was one of the most beautiful college campuses he'd seen) and he had our mascot Clyde on the show during his Ridiculist:

It was a wonderful evening!

It's crazy to think that I met him whenever I tune in and see him on his show now.

This was definitely a highlight of my life so I just had to share. I hope you enjoyed hearing about it and that you aren't too jealous ;)

Baptized in Sweet Tea: a book review

Baptized in Sweet Tea.

I didn't write that book, but.... (to be read in a slow, southern drawl) .... I declare, I sure do wish I had.

It is by far one of the best books I have read in a long time.

It captures the south in such a vivid and heart-warming way. It makes me love being born here even more than I already did!

The book is an easy read with pretty pictures mixed in between a collection of columns written by Ken Burger.

He covers topics like seersucker suits, college football, things my mother used to say, going home for funerals, hot cars and hot summers, the art of using cusswords, the art of returning phonecalls, and sounds of a southern summer.

Those are just a few of his fantastic angles used to capture the southern life.

He has a way of writing that is funny and each person or place he describes seems familiar.

Whether you were born and raised here - or just wish you were - be sure to pick up a copy of this book.

Some part of it, I assure you, will reach out and grab your senses whether in your memory, your present or your fantasy of life as you'd like it to be.

Oh, and be sure to pour a glass of sweet tea as you read it ;)

This is How we Praise the Lord - and it ain't like your grandma does!

                45,000ish college students
            +  4 days
            +  the power of Jesus
            =  over  3 million dollars raised!?!

Why?

Because we believe that:

However, people are sold. 27million people, in fact.

There are more slaves today than in any other time in ALL of human history.

We focused on this at Passion 2012 in Atlanta which leads me to....

The first way that we worship differently: 

We discuss tough topics.

We are not in denial that bad things happen. We learned about slavery, sex trafficking, bonded labor, children being raped, people being starved/beaten/devalued, etc.

And then we decided to

Plenty of Christians are criticized for not putting their money where their mouth is. Not us.

The next way we worship differently is... 

We do give to the poor and needy.

Between the hours of 7pm on January 2nd and noon on January 5th, we raised $3,066,000.

That means that us - poor college kids - gave almost 50 grand every hour.

Why?

Because we believe that:

And we believe that we should be because we are called to...

"Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows."             

                                                           - Isaiah 1:17

Oh, and did I mention we were in the Dome???

Yes, third way we worship differently: 

We were not in a church. We were in the Georgia Dome!?!

So many, MANY people.

It was amazing.

My boss asked the neatest question: "Just look at all of them. Can you imagine what heaven will be like?"

Psalm 89:5 says

All heaven will praise your great wonders, LORD; myriads of angels will praise you for your faithfulness.

And, last but definitely NOT least, the final way we worshiped differently was:

We sang songs like this... 

Not quite the typical hymn (although those are also beautiful!).

We also praised Jesus with rap. 

Not my favorite BUT all rap is not crap and this guy's lyrics are solid:

You can't help but get pumped up listening to LeCrae; watch for the back-flip around minute 2.

And, what was one of the most beautiful moments in the whole conference, we sang "How Great is Our God" in many languages:

And this was the final song of the conference :)

This is the Jesus generation:

Join us to end this:

Worship differently.

Care.
Give.
Do Something Now.