Don't let the degrees fool you though. It seems I'm just book smart because I've been struggling recently with real life.
Adult life is humbling.
I wasn't getting too big for my britches with this additional degree but, nonetheless, I've had a huge slice of humble pie since moving to NC. I thought tests and grades ended with grad school but I was wrong.
Trouble with the Temp Test
First, I went to a local temp agency to try to get a job to pay the bills and buy some time until I can land the "dream job" I'm searching for... you know the one I just went into debt trying to prepare myself for ;) I don't want to rush into the first salaried job that I find.
Well, what do ya know... I failed the temp agency test. Yep. I repeat: Vanderbilt Masters Grad failed the temp test ;)
It was true-false and you can only miss 3... but I missed 4.
I'm sure this was hard to imagine butttt I was talking the whole time while taking it ;) I've been cooped up in my apartment alone and unpacking all day every day so my extroverted self has been losing my mind without much social interaction.
As a result, I was just chatting away with the man who worked there and wasn't paying enough attention nor was I trying too hard with the test. It seems I don't multi-task too well when trying to determine "the best placement of my feet to avoid lumbar strain" and the other random questions that were on their test ;)
Fortunately, I was able to retake it and did fine. Also, my typing speed was double the average applicant (it seems writing long grad school papers paid off!) so I believe I should land a secretary job here soon enough.
Feeling Dumb at the DMV
I need a NC drivers license so I had to make the dreaded trip to the DMV. Why must all DMV workers be so mean? I understand it may not be the best job in the world but this lady was extremely rude.
Still craving social interaction and never having met a stranger, I sat down being all friendly and noticed the woman was wearing palmetto tree earrings so I asked if she was originally from SC. She wasn't but it turns out she had just visited Charleston where she bought the earrings as a souvenir. I tried to chat about the city but she was having none of it.
This lady was all about the task at hand. We struggled through insurance and verifying my address and all of that. Everything was going along per usual until we got to the vision test.
NC does not do it like they do in SC and TN.
I already struggle with my awful vision and have to squint through that weird machine and the germaphobe in me fears I will get a breakout from putting my face on there - I mean how often do they wipe those things down??
Anyways, I managed to read all the tiny letters. But then, this is where it got different: NC has a bunch of the street signs that you have to identify.
I did fine on the median one and the one warning about the steep hill. They were obvious.
But, then there were 4 or 5 blank ones....
I just told the lady the shapes because I was thinking this was still a vision test.
She said, all mean and condescending, "I know what the shapes are but what are the signs?"
Perhaps I was having performance anxiety as I had not prepared for this OR maybe I was just having a PTSD-esque flashback to my 15 year old self worried about failing the drivers permit test but, either way, I just couldn't remember them.
All I could say was "I'm sorry. I don't know."
But I was getting frustrated and wanted to also say,
"Look lady. Those aren't signs. Those are shapes. Because they are blank. And when is the last time anyone has ever seen a blank sign on the side of the road? Oh that's right - never. Because then it wouldn't be a sign. Because that is the point of signs: they have symbols on them that convey meaning. But these little shapes you're asking me to identify are blank so they are not signs."
But, of course, my southern belle self just sat there, humbled, and politely repeated, "I'm sorry. I don't know."
As I said in the blogpost title" Vanderbilt Shmanderbilt Degree" ;) It wasn't much help at the temp agency or the DMV!
Do YOU know what the yellow circle sign is for?
Fortunately, I guess they don't take the test too seriously or perhaps that mean woman just didn't want to have to see me again on a different day or whatever because she gave me my license.
What she did NOT give me though, were the answers to the blank signs.
The nerd in me had to find out.
Turns out, (in case you too didn't know) the yellow circle sign is a railroad crossing sign:
But you know what gives that away???
The R and the R and the cross/X that is marked ON the sign... not the yellow and the circle part. Jeeze Louise.
The house shaped yellow sign is a school crossing and the oblong yellow triangle (that I have never seen in my entire life) is supposed to be a "no passing zone" sign. I don't even remember what the other one or two signs were.
But that lady was being so mean and rude and I was caught off-guard by the blank "signs" section that I wanted to submit this as my answer:
I don't think that would have helped me walk out of there with a license though ;)
Hopefully I don't have to eat any more humble pie but I will keep y'all posted...
