Thursday, February 4, 2010

Twisted Logic: a lesson for guys

I recently had some boy troubles and called my brother for support.

Background:

1.) RIGHT before calling him, I did dinner with a (girl) friend of mine who was also experiencing boy troubles. We commiserated together and were definitely a bit irrational, possibly neurotic. However, through the course of conversation - vent, compare experiences, vent, pout, question love and boys on our campus in general, vent some more, - we then had a wonderful building up process - you don't need a guy, look at how involved you are (aka: no time for a boy), you'll find a guy eventually, we can be happy without one, girlfriends are the ones you keep from college anyways, etc.

Altogether, it was a wonderful female bonding time and soooo therapeutic.

2.) My brother is a VERY logical guy (he is studying to be an engineer) with a tendency to enjoy arguing his point.

ENTER our phone call.

Every single comment I made about the boy troubles was met with a question or a counter argument. I was in NO mood to be proven incorrect about my views on the subject. Finally, I insisted he listen to a little lesson that I feel ALL boys should know (hence this post!):

1.) When women are upset and possibly irrational, you CANNOT convince us to agree with you. No matter how many times you state your points (and regardless of how logical your points may be) it will be an uphill battle. You. Will. Lose.

2.) This time period of irrationality, in my experience and that of close girlfriends', will last 24-48 hours after the incident.

3.) During that time period, you should let us vent, possibly even support us, and for kicks, throw in something about how you would never do that to a girl, if you were here then you'd beat him up for us, etc.

4.) Under NO circumstance - absolutely none - should you support the boy's side (my brother did this repeatedly!?!). I realize guys might have some sorta male kinship connection that prevents them from bashing their own kind BUT for your own sake in maintaining your relationship with us, restrain yourself from supporting his side of things.

5.) We don't need y'all to fix the problem; simply let us go through it and try to understand us. Hugs help too.

6.) Once the time period has passed (be aware that the seriousness of the incident could lengthen the 24-48 hours so proceed with caution), you can kindly share your opinion as a potential explanation for the boy's behavior.

If you do these things, I can assure you, you will be very much appreciated by the women in your life who come to you with their issues. When we do that, we just want a kind male to listen and love us.

You can try to fix the problem when we are ready for it to BE fixed. We'll let you know when :)

For the record, I was right about the boy. AND, for the record, I love my brother and he is a huge support regardless, but even moreso now that he knows to give me some time to be irrational and upset before he tries to logically solve the situation.

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