I Should Have Been Called Grace: Then at least it could be funny and ironic when I trip/drop things

During Orientation the summer before Freshman year, I got a sheet of the 'Top 50 Things to Do While at CofC.' One of the things on that list was "to go a day without tripping on those damn bricks" as our campus is covered in unevenly settled bricks.

With barely a week remaining of my Junior year, I have yet to accomplish that.

But tripping on the bricks is nothing to me anymore... I don't even get embarrassed or look around when it happens. I just keep trucking on, well-aware of the fact that I am klutzy.

Today, however, I have really outdone myself - far beyond stumbling on bricks:

1)  My laundry was over-flowing so I had a ton to carry back from the laundry room (not located in my building). In my impatience to get finished so I could start studying, I decided I could carry ALL of my stuff back in one load.

I could not.

Both arms were loaded down: t-shirts piled up right below my chin, a jacket laid strategically over my panties and bras that were not even folded but, in my rush, simply wrapped into one of my towels, tucked below the t-shirts. [Yes, I think you know where this is going].

My clothes were piled so high that I could not even see my keys as I played a guessing game trying to insert the correct one into my front door. Just as I found the right one and twisted the key, that movement caused my entire load of FRESHLY-washed laundry to tumble like an avalanche from my arms... panties, socks, gym shorts, t-shirts spilling onto the ground at my doorstep.

What could make this worse, you ask?

An audience.

Not just any audience but an audience of grown men. They had been working in my front yard all morning and had been staring at me as I ran back and forth with dirty clothes, detergent and dryer sheets (hence, the need for my jacket to be strategically placed over my undergarments as a shield from their lingering looks).

Oh yes. They looked on as I, red in the face, scrambled to gather all of my clothes and get inside.

You would think this act was good enough embarrsament for one day, but no, it seems I had not met my klutziness quota quite yet...

2) My second graceful act of the day came as I was walking down a lovely Charleston street to meet a friend of mine to study. I had my bookbag thrown over one shoulder and was just enjoying the sunshine and flowers when I spotted a very attractive guy on the sidewalk about 30 feet in front of me.

A wonderful surprise. I planned on flashing my pearly whites and waving, just keeping it cool. NOTE: I am not good at being cool, especially when I try ;)

When he was no more than five feet in front of me, I could see up close that he was even more attractive... tall, beautiful blue eyes, fit.

If this were a romantic movie, there would have been a catchy love song playing in the background and we would meet and begin our "happily ever after."

But in my life, it always seems that I am in romantic comedies... or maybe just comedies ;)

We were just about to pass each other when I came up by a bicycle locked to a parking meter. One of the straps of my bookbag snagged the bike's handlebars and jerked it off my shoulder, awkwardly whipping me back towards the bike. This killed all coolness or any attempt to smile or wave.

There went that "happily ever after."

Red in the face yet again, I busied myself untangling my bookbag from the bike as Mr. Beautiful walked on by, probably grateful my back was turned so he didn't have to hide a smirk at my mishap.

I am the Queen of Klutzy moments!

I should have been called Grace: Then at least it could be funny and ironic when I trip/drop things...

Correcting Our Language... with help from Dane Cook

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." 


This is utterly untrue. 


So often we say things that carry so much negative meaning and we don't even realize it. 


Well Dane Cook did. 


Check out this clip from his Isolated Incident tour last year. 


That pretty much says it all. He uses humor but obviously when we say something is gay or "Sorry I just raped your Facebook wall" for commenting five times in two days, this is NOT funny to someone who is gay or has been raped.   


Take Dane Cook's advice and quit using someone's lifestyle as a derogative adjective and stop tossing around the word rape as though it is on the same level of severity as losing a video game. 


Put yourself in their shoes. Think before you speak. 

A Sweet Suggestion... Cause Mothers Always Know Best

My mom is concerned.

She thinks I am

W
E
I
R
D

for writing and talking so much about menstruation. I think she is worried that I will scare off all of my friends (and certainly potential boyfriends) by talking of such things.

So I will stop (for now).

Variety is the spice of life, after all. I figured what better way to follow up posts about menstruation than with a post about CHOCOLATE :)

Plus, it is exam time which cements the need for a discussion about chocolate.

And since mothers know best, I am sharing info about the delicious chocolate that she introduced me to. It is by a company called Bloomsberry & Co. Check out their fun and whimsical website.

She first got me the Emergency bar which I loved. It was for "Immediate Relief of: Chocolate Cravings, Lovesickness, Exam Pressure, Mild Anxiety, and Extreme Hunger." Perfect, right? ;)   But there are a ton of other great, funny and clever options. You should read all of the print on the boxes cause they sneak in funny things everywhere!

I very much encourage you to check them out.

That is my sweet suggestion.

A History of Menstruation: terms, customs/beliefs, and fashion!

Yet again I am combining school with blogging because I simply lack any brain power or extra time to muster up a creative original after this draining week of something due in every class and much less sleep than I would like.
Below you'll find a paper I wrote for my History of Fashion and Manners class focusing on the history of menstruation...

Not my funniest post (at least not on purpose) but it is full of facts, especially random ones!

Menstruation: Manners, Fashion and More

            Menstruation happens all the time but we hardly ever hear about it. Furthermore, though every society faces this act of nature, many tend to treat it differently and those customs have changed over time. In uncovering some of the mystery of menstruation, I shall focus on words, customs or beliefs, products and fashions.

            First, there are several interesting words regarding menstruation. Some are just nicknames for it such as Aunt Flo, On the Rag, Leak Week, Surfing the Crimson Tide, and My Dot, among others (4). However, some names are much more specific: “menstruation” is from Old English “mondablot” or “month blood;” in Latin, “menses” means “month;” an Amazon culture’s word for “woman” translates to “the person with a red streak down the leg” (2); and the term “period” dates back to 1822 meaning “an interval of time” (4). Furthermore, some menstruation words have much more tainted meanings: “The term ‘ritual’ is derived from the Sanskrit word ‘R’tu,’ which means ‘menstrual.’ This etymology suggests that ritual in a general sense and menstrual acts have a common origin;” Also, the “word taboo comes from the Polyneisain tapua, meaning both ‘sacred’ and ‘menstruation’… [where] sacred means both ‘set apart’ and ‘cursed’.” (4). Lastly, some of the words simply refer to products: “Tampon is French for ‘plug’ or ‘bung,’ a variant from the Old French tapon meaning a ‘piece of cloth to stop a hole;” for o.b. tampon company, “o.b. means ‘ohne Binde,’ without a pad, in German;” and Kotex stood for “COtten-like TEXture… because women were used to cotton and the new Kotex was made from wood pulp, making it cheaper” (2).

            Second, there has been a vast array of menstruation customs or beliefs over the years. First, in reference to religion:

 “Judaism, Hinduism, and Islam all prohibit sex during menstruation. Both Jews and Muslims require women to achieve ritual purity after menstruation, through the Jewish mikvah (literally ‘collection,’ as in a collection of water) or the Islamicghusl (ablution), respectively;” also, “Christian churches have refused communion to menstruating women” (4). Beyond religious reasons, sex was discouraged while women were menstruating because “During the nineteenth century, it was widely thought that intercourse with a menstruating woman would transmit gonorrhea, which may have been mistaken for trichomoniasis. Trichomoniasis becomes worse during menstruation because of lower vaginal acidity”(4).

            There were other mis-informed beliefs regarding menstruation blood: Hippocrates of Ancient Greece “may have started the process of bleeding out after observing women recovering from bloating and aches and pains after starting their periods” (2); “Menstrual blood was thought to cure warts, birthmarks, gout, goiters, hemorrhoids, epilepsy, worms, leprosy, and headaches. It was also used in love charms, could ward off demons, and was occasionally used as an offering to a god. The first napkin worn by a virgin was thought to be a cure for the plague” and in “many cultures, a fetus was thought to be formed in the womb by clotting menstrual blood” (4). 

Additional misunderstandings came from beliefs about the mental states of women on their periods: “At one point in history, women who complained of menstrual cramps (dysmenorrhea) were sent to psychiatrists because menstrual cramps were seen as a rejection of one’s femininity” and “Psychoanalysts, such as Freud, have suggested that menstruation is a “bloody sign of a woman’s loss of penis” and that it is a reminder of a woman’s “uncleanliness and inferiority” (4).

Some things assumed in relation to menstruation, though, were not incorrect. These included some of the firsts concepts of time and numerical thinking, as well as the first lunar calendar, all based upon the menstrual cycle (4).

Lastly, a few more concrete customs brought on by menstruation include:

• menses huts have been built in many societies to keep women separate while menstruating for reasons from fear to reverence (4)
• as matriarchy gave way to patriarchy, menstruation shifted from being powerful to a tool of oppression (4)
• washing and changing underclothing was not done for fear of causing more bleeding (2)
• strong perfumes were used to mask the smell (2)
• some cultures believe the smell is a sign of fertility and attracts men (2)
• many women wore nothing and just let it run down their legs, hidden by long chemises and dresses (2)
• factories where women worked would simply lay straw down on the floor to absorb the menstrual blood (2)

Though most women wore nothing initially, as products became available, more and more women started to use them. First there was a belted pad, then an adhesive pad before tampons and finally cups.

First, “American patents for menstrual devices start in 1854 for a belt with steel springs to hold a pad, but really don't pick up steam until the 1870s” (2). Belted pads were worn in between the legs and then taken off to be washed at night. They were used up until the 1970s and could be held up with suspenders or belts and pads could be pinned in (2). An image of a possible 19^th century belt is pictured here. 

Pads of this type are still available from smaller companies(2).

However, most of these fell out of favor with the arrival of disposable pads from Kotex is 1921 which likely developed from bandages for soldiers in World War I (2). Kotex further dominated the menstrual market when it came out with adhesive pads in the 1970s. A Swedish ad demonstrates the new product and how much more comfortable and concealable it was, seen here. 

Though tampons were sold to mass audiences in the 1930s in America, it is likely that they had been around for years and years before that; for example, “Ancient Egyptians used softened papyrus as rudimentary tampons  [and] Hippocrates notes that the Greeks used lint wrapped around wood…The modern tampon was invented by Dr. Earle Haas in 1929, which was called a ‘catamenial device’ or ‘monthly device.’ He trademarked the brand name Tampax” (4).  Tampons altered once more with the addition of an applicator which was patented in the 1930s (2).

The most recent menstrual product is the cup. It was first created in the 1930s and made from rubber latex (3); however, it fell out of favor and only recently resurfaced as a popular option. The cups are reusable and very environmentally friendly preventing the waste created by all the disposable feminine hygiene products (3).

Lastly, how does all of this relate to fashion?

First, women wore nothing. This would seem like it would be disastrous but due to malnourishment, physical exertion, higher pregnancy rates and other factors, women in previous eras had far less periods than today’s woman; “The average women in a modern industrialized society menstruates 450 times in her life. Conversely, prehistoric women menstruated only 50 times—and today, women in agrarian regions menstruate about 150 times in a lifetime” (4). However, when a period did come, women would cover it with a chemise: a long, floor-length gown (2).

It took a long time for this fashion to fade but eventually wearing of underpants became accepted practice around 1800 and remained so throughout the century (2).

These underpants were often open in the crotch for dealing with menstruation and urination (2); However, crotches soon closed because of “shorter and looser, more clinging dresses, allowing women to reach under and pull their drawers down (‘draw’ means ‘pull’) when on the toilet and to better conceal their vulvas if their dresses hiked up, as from the wind, or from a more active life than in former decades” (2).

As undergarments shrank in size, protection from period leaks came in the form of almost diapers when women would take old clothes, handkerchiefs, sheets and other fabrics and fold them over or button and pin them under their clothes; these could be highly visible and bulky but were their only options (2).

          A further form of protection came from sanitary aprons. These were worn from the shoulders and hung down, not to absorb blood as pads would do, but simply to prevent clothing from being stained (1). 

Next came the belts and then the disposable pads and lastly tampons and cups.

Some other interesting fashion that has evolved from menstruation includes the following: some women in India wear a scarf around their neck dyed by their menstrual blood as a sign that they are on their period; and scholars suggest that marriage rites are an extension of menarchal rites, which may explain why many bridal dresses were historically red. The bride would also walk on a red carpet to the wedding ceremony, wearing a red veil (4).

In conclusion, menstruation may be overlooked but actually has had a huge impact on our society through words, customs, products and fashion.

Sources:

1. Cappon, Colleen. “Shocking Facts About the Flow: What You Always Wanted to Know About Your Period, But Were Too Afraid to Ask.” Fox News. 29 Mar. 2010. Fox News Network. 10 Apr. 2010. <http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,590056,00.html>.
2. Finley, Harry. “When they menstruated, they left a trail of blood behind them.” MUM. 1999. Museum of Menstruation and Women’s Health. 10 Apr. 2010. <http://www.mum.org/pastgerm.htm>.
3. “Menstrual Cup History and Our Story.” The Diva Cup. 12 Apr. 2010. 10 Apr. 2010 <http://www.divacup.com/en/home/history/>.
4. “68 Random Facts About… Menstruation.” Random History. 2010. 10 Apr. 2010. <http://facts.randomhistory.com/random-facts-about-menstruation.html>.

Menstruation: Funny Videos on Mixed Messages

Menstruation is not talked about in the open or very often.

As a result, it is often misunderstood.

I hope to clear up a few misunderstandings in this post. Using humor. So please don't be too freaked out to finish reading this...

The first example of mixed messages is from a woman's perspective, satirized in a new tampon commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRf35wCmzWw 

Super funny, right? I think so :)

But, it also addresses some key misunderstandings that women, especially young women new to the process of menstruation can take too literally. For that matter, men may also see the typical tampon commercial (like the ones that video makes fun of) and feel like their sister/mom/girlfriend should act that way... happy, ultra-feminine, perky, etc.

However, many of us are like, heck no! We would like to be bloated, bitchy, and wearing every piece of black clothing that we own.

BUT, it is rare that you see that in the media.

So do women see the normal tampon commercials and feel they should fit that stereotype, that something may be wrong with them for not being happy and twirling around in skirts when they're on their period?

In addition, what do men think when they see these commercials as how a woman should act on her period but then they experience women in their life acting differently: teary, cranky, craving chocolate, etc.

Here is another funny video addressing mixed menstruation messages from a guy's perspective: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEj31njaeX0

What messages does this clip reinforce?

Men are dumb, out of the loop? Women are emotional and bitchy?

That NO ONE understands what is going on with that blue goo!?!

I hope that the uby tampon commercial is the way of the future. That we won't be marketed with these false notions of how a woman should act on her period.

Furthermore, I hope we can increase the conversation around the topic of menstruation so that men won't be so in the dark on "that time of the month" and regarding "tampons" and other women's issues.

Menstruation, a natural process, shouldn't be so misunderstood by women or men. In the media or in real life.

Menstruation: a disclaimer and preview

I suppose I should issue a bit of a disclaimer in that my next post or two will be dealing with menstruation; have no fear there isn't too much detailed biological info and I promise you won't see one drop of blood ;)

I simply have a strange interest in this topic and since it is the 50th anniversary of  the birth control pill in America (at least as approved by the FDA) there has been a lot of discussion in feminist circles around this topic of birth, contraception, menstruation, etc. Basically, I'm trying to assure you I am not the only one who finds this fascinating ;)

Hopefully you will gain a new appreciation, if not fascination, of it in my posts to follow.

Furthermore, it is my wish that this topic - menstruation - will not be so taboo anymore. It is a natural process that allows our species to continue!?!

So, talk about it.

Mothers to daughters, sisters to brothers, girlfriends to boyfriends, wives to husbands, etc. This can work in reverse too; I am sure boys have plenty of questions for us but they are afraid to ask. And we don't share.

In general, our society is almost silent on this topic unless they are making fun of it or accusing women of being moody/emotional, or telling women how to hide/clean it. I don't think this is healthy or accurate.

We need to just put the facts out there. And, because it is a bit of an awkward topic, I plan to infuse a lot of humor with those facts so that it can cut the tension ;)

Enjoy...

Models have known for a long time that short hair and small boobs are sexy ;)

I read that quote in a magazine years ago and I often remember it. It may not come as a surprise to you that I have short hair and small boobs ;)

But are these really sexy in our society?

They were in the 1920s!

My first focus in this post shall mostly be on the short hair aspect since I recently got my hair cut.

Before I describe this recent haircut, let me fill you in on my first "short" haircut...

It was a Monday in 9th grade and yearbook pictures were to be taken the next day. Since my usual hair salon was not open on Mondays and my mother informed me I needed a haircut, I tried a new salon. That afternoon I went in with shoulder-length hair and requested a trim and some much needed bangs to cover my high forehead... as suggested by my mom.

When I left, my new bangs were the longest part of my hair!?!

I was almost in tears.

The next day I entered school, wearing our androgynous uniforms of baggy khaki pants and a shapeless maroon polo shirt. Mind you, I am not a particularly voluptuous woman (back to the small boobs thing) and so more than once that day I was mistaken from behind as my twin brother.

Being confused for a boy = NOT good.

Documenting this day and this hair for all of posterity since it was picture day = even worse!

Since others confused me for my brother, I began to associate short haircuts as "boy" haircuts.

I now have another "boy" haircut after entering a new salon with shoulder-length hair. It seems this is a bad pattern that I should guard against in the future. Unfortunately, I am too trusting of hair stylists in that they are the professionals and I assume their preference trumps mine.

Having said that, the hair stylist did do a great job and I know that it is a good haircut, it just gives me flashbacks to that tragic 9th grade "boy" haircut and causes me to feel unfeminine.

This is almost ridiculous since I am about the girliest girl I know... currently wearing bright pink nail polish and a purple polka-dot top as I type this.

But I cannot escape the sense that in our society the length of a woman's hair seems a direct correlation to her femininity.

Yes, we have the rare exceptions such as Rihanna, Sienna Miller, and Halle Berry BUT for the most part, our ideal "sexy" women have the long, luxurious hair.

Feedback that I have gotten on my recent haircut has been that it looks "grown up," "sophisticated," and "stylish" but never once was it said to be "pretty" or "sexy."

Fortunately, I am taking my History of Fashion and Manners class and ever so conveniently, the era we were focusing on right after my haircut was the 1920s when short hair was
VERY sexy.

First there was the classic bob of the flappers.

Then came the shingled look... think Roxie Hart from the movie Chicago.

And lastly, and most extreme, was the "boy" haircut known as the eton crop.

Those were the divas, the sexy ideal, from back then... all with "boy" haircuts.

As I sit here with my new short do, I am getting used to it and appreciating the following:
1) As summer is approaching, it will be quick to style and cool in the heat
2) Hair always grows back

However, I am not sure yet that I shall grow my hair out.

Until then, I realize it is cut and I cannot put it back on or grow it back to the length it was overnight. Thus I plan to be positive, hold my short-haired head high and embrace this look.

My second focus of this post shall be small boobs.

It turns out that this was also a popular look for women in the 1920s. So much so, in fact, that they had something called flatteners rather than bras. They literally smushed the boobs against a woman's body to give her a more boyish and straight-lined look.

Here is a video of some of the women and their fashions from the 1920s. About 2:40 into the video, you can see a woman get her hair cut into the bob and then styled into the shingled look.

So whether you are a model or an everyday woman, take confidence in how you look, even if it does not fit the beauty ideals of the present moment.

That is the key that models and these daring women of the 1920s seemed to have in common: confidence.

If you are confident, you are beautiful... short hair, long hair, big boobs, small boobs and everything in between.

So I plan to be confident as I am bringin sexy back all the way from the 1920s with my bob "boy" haircut and small boobs!

I.O.U.S.A. and I.O.U.S.A.: Solutions... Watch Them!!!

I had CNN on today and they were discussing these documentaries. It was so good. A bit painful but well made, for sure.

We cannot keep spending the way we are spending.

Social Security is running a deficit, among other things.

I know it sucks but we will probably have to raise taxes. That is how the government has money to do things... as one person said on the show, "It is not magic."

Either way we need to start PAYING ATTENTION. Our generation cannot continue in blissful ignorance watching the latest celebrity gossip crap and avoiding this problem.

Please watch them and the tell all your friends.

Our generation will be inheriting this and we need to act NOW.

Rain, Rain, DON'T Go Away

I walked slowly home in the rain, high heels in hand and without an umbrella; it was marvelous... cooling the blisters on my feet, washing away the stress of this week, drowning out the to-do list running in my head

The Bachelor is Wrong... Biologically

While at SEWSA, I was speaking to a woman who works at a college. What she could not understand was how many women flocked to and fawned all over the guys on campus.

Assuming it was much like my school where the girls greatly outnumber the guys, I said it was probably just that: the guys were in short supply and high demand so they got the pick of the litter. However, she said her school had an almost even break in the girl to guy ratio.

This started a whole discussion on how society might be leading women and men to believe that regardless of ratios, men still get the pick of the litter.

My favorite quote from this conversation was when she said, "I mean take The Bachelor for example... all those women going after one guy!?! That just doesn't make sense. Even biologically, think about it, a ton of sperm go after only one egg. That's how it should be in life."

Amen, sister. I wish.

Biologically it seems the case. Socially though, it isn't lived out. Women chase after men rather than the other way around... after a certain age anyway.

I recently did lunch with a little girl that I babysit who is 5 AND, she was quick to clarify, a half years old. In our conversation, she mentioned her boyfriend. He is not imaginary and he is not her first. In fact, he is not her second but her third boyfriend. I repeat, she is on her third boyfriend and is not yet six years old!?!

Not to beat a dead horse, but - reminder - I am single. And I am 21. AND, unlike the boys at her school, I do not have guys lined up around the corner for me.

I started to wonder why.

At such a young age without the extensive socialization from more adult movies, tv, etc. in the media, and without caring for any "cootie-spreading" sexual acts, these boys are just responding biologically to go after this lovely little girl in their class.

Sadly, boys my age have been more socialized and I think they have gotten the message through media that goes against biology saying that women should chase after them.

Well, ladies, I say we need to have some self-respect and some self-restraint. Let's stop boosting these boys' egos and quit chasing after them.

We. Are. Worthy. Of. Pursuit.

Let's get back to biology and let them chase after us...