Death by Wallpaper and Flooring: What am I going to do with my life?

What am I going to do with my life?

I hear that question in my own head almost hourly and out of someone else's mouth at least once a day.

Whether from a friend or a parent, a teacher or a classmate, even strangers. It is just the go-to question when anyone is talking to a Senior: "What are your plans after you graduate?"

Not like what are you doing tonight or this weekend. Not even what are you doing in a year but -

What are you doing with... YOUR LIFE. 

It can be panic inducing.

Especially if you don't have a precise answer.

But, I do have somewhat of an answer, at least by process of elimination:

I don't want death by wallpaper and flooring.

Let me explain :)

Thanks to my good friend Matthew who lent me his book, I have started reading Drops Like Stars by Rob Bell.

The book flows so well in a random but well-connected way and the visuals are absolutely fantastic. As a result, I won't be able to do his presentation of the material much justice but here's an excerpt:

In the movie Old School, Will Ferrel plays a married, thirty-something-year-old suburban man who finds himself at a college party.

When he's offered a drink, he declines, saying,

"I have a big day tomorrow." 

When he's asked, "Doing what?" he responds, "Well, um... actually, a pretty nice little Saturday. We're gonna go to Home Depot, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed Bath and Beyond... I don't know. I don't know if we'll have enough time..."

Why is is that everyone I know who's seen that movie remembers that scene? Obviously people remember it because it's funny. But there's far more going on in the scene that just going to Home Depot on a Saturday. 

 This man in this movie is bored. 

He has the life that is often portrayed as the ideal - a wife, a house, a job, security, comfort, privilege, freedom - and yet it's left him bored, numb, and in a low-grade state of despair. His "success" has actually served to distract him from just how deeply unsatisfied he is with his life.

I assume none of us want to starve or be shot at or lose someone we love, but it's possible to die a sort of death at the other end of the spectrum as well, isn't it?

If we aren't careful, our success and security and abundance can lead to a certain sort of boredom, a numbing predictability, a paralyzing indifference that comes from being too comfortable.

 Death by wallpaper and flooring (p 39).

Yes, so for now, that at least is my answer to this ever-present and pressuring question: "What am I going to do with this life?"

I am going to LIVE, live in such a way that I won't suffer death by wallpaper and flooring.

I hope you're able to do the same.

Doubting Thomas Got a Bad Rap

Doubting Thomas got a bad rap: the one who didn't immediately believe; the one who questioned.

He had one weak moment: ²⁵So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord!" But he said to them, "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it." (John 20:25).

Recently, I really related to Thomas. I was doubting.

Have you ever wanted proof? Evidence? A visible sign?

I know I was really craving it. I needed to see the nail marks.

Fortunately, they appeared.

Friend after friend shared with me precisely what I needed to hear. Devotions spoke directly to my situation. My pastor's sermon seemed as though it had to have been written specifically for me and my doubt. Mentors linked me to unbelievably appropriate sites or documents that answered my questions; One guy even sent me a document defending Paul written by a female Baptist preacher who is also a professor and a feminist!?!

Yes, I was seeing the nail marks. My doubts were fading. My faith was strengthening.


That is why I could connect with the story of Thomas.

Doubting Thomas got a bad rap.

It has been cemented into society's mind through the stereotype of a "doubting Thomas" and through art, even through music.

One of my favorite songs is called "Doubting Thomas" by Nickel Creek.

The lyrics are so great and, with my recent struggles in Women and Religion, one line especially resonated with me:

Can I be used to help others find truth, (particularly leading a Bible study!)
When I'm scared I'll find proof that its a lie

This was precisely my concern: I was afraid that I would learn my way out of my religion. 

But, the opposite has happened.

Just. Like. Thomas.

²⁶A week later his [Jesus'] disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" ²⁷Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe."

 ²⁸Thomas said to him, "My Lord and my God!" (John 20:26-28)

 According to Dr. Ralph Wilson, "Thomas, 'Doubting Thomas,' as he is sometimes called, is the first disciple to put into words the truth that Jesus is both Lord and God. 

"'Doubting Thomas' utters the greatest confession of faith recorded anywhere in the Bible." 

How awesome and encouraging is that?

Again, Doubting Thomas got a bad rap.

Something else I find encouraging is NOT written in the Bible. Yep. It isn't written in there.

But society has written it in there - An extra verse that doesn't actually exist.

If you look at the art and talk to people (believers and nonbelievers) they will likely tell you that Thomas touched the nail marks.

That, however, is NOT written in the Bible.

The Bible goes straight from verse 27 where Jesus tells Thomas to "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe" into verse 28 where Thomas declares his belief: "My Lord and my God!"

No verse 27.5 exists saying that Thomas touched the nail marks.

Maybe he did, maybe he didn't.

Either way, we cannot. I cannot.

As a result, I choose to believe that Thomas did not. Then, just like him, we can sense the presence of Jesus moving among us and then proclaim our faith... even if we can't reach out and touch the nail marks.

Verse 29 further clarifies that faith is possible without having the exact proof or evidence or nail marks to touch: ²⁹Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."(John 20:29)

That is how Jesus ends it: he acknowledges that Thomas has believed.

Why don't we acknowledge that?

Doubting Thomas got a bad rap. 

We should look up to him - especially in our time of doubting and questioning - as the one who strengthened his faith and became Believing Thomas.

Menstruation: a disclaimer and preview

I suppose I should issue a bit of a disclaimer in that my next post or two will be dealing with menstruation; have no fear there isn't too much detailed biological info and I promise you won't see one drop of blood ;)

I simply have a strange interest in this topic and since it is the 50th anniversary of  the birth control pill in America (at least as approved by the FDA) there has been a lot of discussion in feminist circles around this topic of birth, contraception, menstruation, etc. Basically, I'm trying to assure you I am not the only one who finds this fascinating ;)

Hopefully you will gain a new appreciation, if not fascination, of it in my posts to follow.

Furthermore, it is my wish that this topic - menstruation - will not be so taboo anymore. It is a natural process that allows our species to continue!?!

So, talk about it.

Mothers to daughters, sisters to brothers, girlfriends to boyfriends, wives to husbands, etc. This can work in reverse too; I am sure boys have plenty of questions for us but they are afraid to ask. And we don't share.

In general, our society is almost silent on this topic unless they are making fun of it or accusing women of being moody/emotional, or telling women how to hide/clean it. I don't think this is healthy or accurate.

We need to just put the facts out there. And, because it is a bit of an awkward topic, I plan to infuse a lot of humor with those facts so that it can cut the tension ;)

Enjoy...