Divine Demolition & Inspiration: Sandy Disaster Relief Trip

Most of us have heard of Hurricane Sandy. NOAA  put out before and after shots showing the destruction caused by the storm. 

I had the opportunity to see some of this destruction up close last week when I, along with 170 other volunteers from Baptist Collegiate Ministry groups from across SC served on a disaster relief mission trip with the Southern Baptist Disaster Relief team.


We filled 3 charter buses with students exhausted from final exams and settled in for a 13 hour drive from Columbia, SC to Staten Island, NY.

Why do this when they could have been going home to sleep, watch Christmas movies and hang with family and friends? 

Because Jesus said, "Love your neighbor as yourself." - Mark 12:31.

If Hurricane Sandy had hit SC instead of NY, I know all 170 of us would have been incredibly grateful if the students of NY drove down to love us through disaster relief.

Supposedly Forgotten

Staten Island, we were told is often called "The Forgotten Borough" of New York.

But, even if the world overlooks it, we knew that the Lord does not.

Because Jesus said, " I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep" - John 10:14.

He knows his sheep, whether they live in Staten Island, South Carolina or Syria. Anywhere. Everywhere.

So we set out to serve his sheep of Staten Island ;)

Each morning we would wake up, get breakfast and load up our buses to depart to our work-sites where, even 40 days after the storm hit, there was still lots of mud-out and demolition left to do. We would work until about 4 or 4:30 and then head back to our "Volunteer Village" - tents to sleep in, trailer showers and porta-pottys.

 Sweet Women & Work

I had the wonderful blessing to work at the homes of two sweet ladies -  Ms. Ginny's home on the first day and Ms. Mary's for the final 3. We pulled out pipes and bathtubs, tore up floors with crowbars and shovels, ripped out insulation, picked up trash, did yard work, power washed, and sprayed for mold.

It was cold and rainy and sweaty and dirty and exhausting... and WONDERFUL.

Because the Bible says, "Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically." - Romans 12:11

People, even me, often say we should "be the hands and feet of Jesus."

I have never had an opportunity to do that in such a tangible, visible way.

We literally used our hands and feet and broke some fingernails and acquired some bruises to serve those sweet ladies by getting their homes cleaned out and ready to be rebuilt. Why?

Because the Bible says, " Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress." - James 1:27

Ms. Ginny had moved into that home to care for her parents who have since passed away and Ms. Mary's husband has passed away as well. Orphan and widow. In distress.

Though these women were certainly in distress having had much of their homes ruined and many of their things destroyed, they were strong, positive, inspiring ladies.

Beautiful Spirit & Perspective

Both of these women were a joy to be around and so kind to us. That really says something. At one of the toughest times in their lives when they are trying to salvage and rebuild after Sandy, they were others-focused.

My favorite memory of Ms. Ginny was her efforts to help us. Instead of sitting and watching us work, she jumped in there and ended up schooling all of us even though she is over twice our age. We were using crowbars and hammers to pry up the wet, molded plywood above the sub-floor and it was not easy work.

While my team of 9 students and I were plugging along and making decent time, Ms. Ginny jumped in with a crowbar to help and within about 5 minutes, she had ripped up about half the floor!?! She was so strong and motivated and impressive.

She clearly has a fighting spirit determined to move forward and recover quickly.

I spent more time with Ms. Mary so it is hard to pick just one favorite memory...

• She had a great sense of humor and was always making us laugh, like when she charged us to use her bathroom... with a hug, every time :) 
• She would come and sit with us during lunch to tell stories and get to know us
• The last morning she surprised us with hot chocolate and donuts waiting for us

Though I was already impressed with her ability to laugh in the midst of what she is going through, I would have to say that hands down, my most favorite memory of her (and possibly the whole trip) was this:

We gathered each morning to pray on site before beginning our work and one morning Ms. Mary was outside so we invited her to join us. It was the day after the Connecticut school shooting.

When we asked her if she had any prayer requests, I fully expected her to ask for herself about her health or her home or her family. Instead she said this which was so moving and true:

"I'd like you to pray for the families in Connecticut. All this that I've lost here is just stuff. But they lost their children and I bet any of those mothers would give away every single thing they owned just to have their kid back."

 Perspective. It is a powerful thing.

Ms. Mary has a great perspective.

A Different Way to Worship

Another perspective I gained while on this trip was a different way to worship. 

One of the days we were gone was a Sunday but we did not go to church. 

We went to our work-sites and I posted this picture and this caption on facebook: 

On this Sunday, we worship not in khaki pants or singing from hymnals but by pulling up floors and working in the cold, rainy weather of NY. I mean Jesus was a carpenter ;) Here is to worshiping a little bit differently sometimes!

The whole trip was a way to worship differently. 

While you and most of the world have never head of these two, single women living in the Forgotten Borough of Staten Island, the Lord knows them well and wants them cared for.

Because Jesus says, "Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders" - Luke 15: 4-5


In addition to caring for the over-looked and worshiping through divine demolition, on a light-hearted note, here is what we also learned

1. The southern stereotype that northerners are not hospitable is simply false: they were so friendly and grateful, often stopping their cars in the street to say hi and thank you.
2. The warning we've heard since childhood that we should never take food from strangers apparently does not apply during disaster relief! More than once, kind people saw that we were volunteers and they offered us free sandwiches, juice, chips, etc. We never hesitated to take them or enjoy them.
3. One can do hard physical labor but still look good while doing it ;) For example, I may have broken several nails but they were painted red underneath my work gloves. In addition, while I had to borrow my brother's camo hunting jacket because it was insulated and could get dirty, I accessorized with my bright pink scarf ;) Truly a Southern Belle Feminist moment!!! 

Lunch Buddies, Lanyards & Love

I have a date every week with a 9-year-old.

I see her every Thursday. She is my lunch buddy :)

It is a program with Communities in Schools, a "nationwide network of passionate professionals working in public schools to surround students with a community of support, empowering them to stay in school and achieve in life."

I must admit, when I began the process of applying to volunteer, I felt awkward.

Beyond that, I felt like a creeper. The forms asked questions like what school we wanted to work with and what age child and gender. I felt like a pedophile selecting, "I'd like a little blue-eyed, blonde 7 year-old girl" Now, to clarify, the application did not ask for those details... but still!

I pushed through the awkward application process, however, and got my background check approved and my references in. Then I was allowed to begin the program.

My little girl, who I shall refer to as K, was a little reserved at first. 

Our first couple lunch dates, we covered the usual topics like favorite color, food, tv show, etc. And I began to ask about her family. When I asked about her parents, she said: "I have a mom. She is 38." 

This threw me off. And broke my heart. 

In sharing about my mom, I have never once revealed her age (In fact, I'd probably get in trouble for making that public knowledge, lol!). However, K obviously has been asked/judged so much that even as a 9-year-old, she was on the defense to prove to me her mom was older - not a teenage mom as many would assume. Although, I later found out K has sisters who are in their early 20s so her mom was a teenage mom who just continued to have children.  

My heart further broke a few weeks into the school-year when I found out her mom went to jail so K was living between her older sisters' homes and her own where the mom's live-in boyfriend still resided. My little 4th-grade lunch buddy was left to do homework/eat/entertain/protect herself many nights with little-to-no adult supervision. 

It comes as no surprise that when she is then under strict supervision at school, she often gets in trouble. I am not even assuming this; in a scarlet-letter-kind-of-way, the school has a branding system of colored lanyards: 

• Gold = good behavior
• Green = you've been spoken to but mostly behaved
• Red = you got in trouble, seriously or frequently

Well, my little K has been on red LITERALLY every week that I've met with her this school-year :( 

Despite that we had not had progress in the lanyard arena, we had progress in our connection with each other. 

The first week, she wouldn’t even hardly hold my eye contact, much less my hand. But the more lunches and conversations we shared led to smiles, then hugs, then walking her to her classroom or recess. 

A few weeks ago, she held my hand all the way from the lunch room to recess and had me play with her outside a bit; before we said goodbye, she told me she loved me. 

Gah. Melt my heart. 

Once I realized she knew I cared for her and I knew she cared for me, I felt that I could push her and she knew it would be coming from a good place – not just another adult telling her what to do. 

On our next lunch date, I talked with her about her lanyard and asked her if she thought she could get on green. She didn’t really know what to say. 

I told her I didn’t just think she could get on green; I knew she could. She pinky-promised me (which is about as binding as a contract can be for an elementary school kid!) that she would try to get on green.

Sadly, I didn’t see her the next Thursday because the weather was awful and the streets were flooded and I couldn’t get to her school. 

The next Thursday was Thanksgiving so school was off. 

As a result, it was 3 weeks before I saw her again :/

And to make matters worse, I was late that Thursday. I had just managed to find parking near her school when I got a call from the lady in charge of Communities in Schools; she told me K was asking to make sure I was still coming in that day. I told her I was literally walking in the door and would see them both in 2 minutes. 

As I walked into the lunchroom, K spotted me first. She gave me a big ole smile and hug and then we sat down to chat about our usual: her food, her classes, her weekend, etc. 

But, then she asked: “Do you like surprises?” with a coy smile on her face. 

I had no idea where she was going with this. 

I said, “Of course, I love surprises! Do you?” 

But, she ignored my question and simply stated, “I have a surprise for you.” 

I still had no idea where she was going with this. “You do!?!” I asked. 

At this point, she begins to unbutton her coat which I had failed to realize was still on. By about the third button, I saw it, hanging around her neck: a GREEN lanyard!!!! 

She saw me see it and asked me, “Do you remember how last time we met, you told me I could get a green lanyard?” 

“Of course I do!!!” I said, pleased and impressed that she still remembered. 

“And I knew you could do it!!!” I added, “I am SOOOOOOO proud of you!!!” 

I proceeded to give her countless high fives and hugs… as I fought back the tears welling up in my eyes because she had remembered and honored that challenge. AND she had believed in herself because someone else had believed in her. 

She said, “See, I can be not bad.” 

This broke my heart too. She believed she was a bad person. I said, “Oh, K! You were never bad. You may have made some bad choices but you were never bad. You are a sweet, good girl and you can always be that if you decide to be.” 

I know it was cheesy but I don’t think she has ever heard this. Certainly not at school. She is told she is bad and she is viewed as bad since she has to wear a red lanyard. 

For clarification, this is not to hate on the system or the teachers or the school. I know they have structure in place for a reason and it can be largely effective. However, for K, she had begun to believe she was only as good as she had gotten in the system: red lanyard status. 

Further, it didn’t seem that she believed she could move beyond that. 

But she did!!!! 

I brought up her green lanyard and green things like 50 times in the last 15 minutes of our lunch.

I am happy to report that the next week, K still had a green lanyard :)

She and I were both excited and proud. We have already decided that in 2013, we are aiming for the gold lanyard. She believes she can do it now. 

A little thing like a shift from a red lanyard holding your student ID card changing to a green lanyard has had profound effects on K’s self-confidence and I think even self-worth. 

And, it was all accomplished in a few lunch dates. 

This is not a bragging moment for me as such a great lunch buddy because I only had one afternoon of training and I don’t have special tricks or tips. I was just a grown-up who took time to meet with a little 9-year-old girl and through that, I believed in her and loved on her. 

That is what has profound effects on a child. And, this is something anyone can do. 

Including you.

You too could take less than an hour out of your week to meet with, love on and believe in a child at a school near you. It could have profound effects on you and the child both. 

Communities in Schools is a national organization so check out the one near you…