Rising to a Better Story: Visiting Vandy

This weekend was my first official visit to Vanderbilt as an accepted student.

I was a little nervous but mostly excited... excited to meet the professors, meet my classmates, get questions answered, explore where I'll be living, etc.

Last night was SO much fun! It was a trivia night put on by the graduate student association.

I was the only prospective student who showed up from my program because the social was an optional event. This meant I got the undivided attention of my team, 5 current students who were a wealth of stories and advice and housing suggestions.

There was pizza and candy, laughter and high fives. Loud music. Bonding.

We even won a prize.... for coming in last place. Real life.

It was a really promising start to graduate school ;)

But seriously: I couldn't have asked for a better beginning to my time here.

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Then today was the big day: 9am - 5pm... full of meetings and people and information.

Honestly, it was all a little overwhelming. Even for me, an extreme social butterfly.

The reality of this next season of life hit me like a brick wall.

Finding housing.
Finding a roommate.
Figuring out financial aid.
Realizing I'm probably about to have to take out several loans and go into debt.
Realizing I'm about to have homework and reading and papers and classes again.
Realizing I know ONE PERSON in all of Nashville.
Realizing I'll be away from all the people I know and love back home in SC.

BUT also realizing:
- There is so much opportunity ahead of me
- I'm going to learn and grow so much
- I will get to meet and make new friends here
- I get to make this place my new home

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Then, I read this post today from the SheLoves website I told you about in my last post.

When you get past the lady's pretty pictures, you get to what she is really talking about. She came to a decision point in her life where she lost her job and had to choose to go for her dream and take a leap of faith that it would work out.

Vandy and this degree and where it will take me are my leap of faith. 
So is leaving my home and comfort and community.

I loved what the lady said in her post:

Fear had a hold of me.

But for once this wasn’t the “What if I never create something awe-inspiring, profound or useful?” kind of Fear.

This was the “What if I leap and actually make the world a better place?” kind of Fear.

To be honest, right now after this long day with an information-and-new-face-overload, I feel more fear than excitement or peace.

But, I think I feel that fear because I am realizing I might could leap and make the world a better place.

And that is not to say that I'm not already/that I couldn't make the world a better place back in Charleston. It is just that this awesome-slightly-intimidating opportunity to go to Vandy is now a reality so I feel like I should take it.

I also love how the lady described that in her post. She said it was a chance to "Rise to a better story:"

Our hearts were filled with fear. But not the usual bullying kind. This was the good kind. The kind of fear that straightens out all the feathers on your wings before you make the jump. The kind of fear you feel before you rise to a better story.

Well, fear has straightened out all the feathers on my wings and I'm going to prepare to make the jump.

The jump to figure out housing and finances and roommates and my future life direction.

I have officially accepted my acceptance to Vandy.

I'm rising to a better story :)
 

Death by Wallpaper and Flooring: What am I going to do with my life?

What am I going to do with my life?

I hear that question in my own head almost hourly and out of someone else's mouth at least once a day.

Whether from a friend or a parent, a teacher or a classmate, even strangers. It is just the go-to question when anyone is talking to a Senior: "What are your plans after you graduate?"

Not like what are you doing tonight or this weekend. Not even what are you doing in a year but -

What are you doing with... YOUR LIFE. 

It can be panic inducing.

Especially if you don't have a precise answer.

But, I do have somewhat of an answer, at least by process of elimination:

I don't want death by wallpaper and flooring.

Let me explain :)

Thanks to my good friend Matthew who lent me his book, I have started reading Drops Like Stars by Rob Bell.

The book flows so well in a random but well-connected way and the visuals are absolutely fantastic. As a result, I won't be able to do his presentation of the material much justice but here's an excerpt:

In the movie Old School, Will Ferrel plays a married, thirty-something-year-old suburban man who finds himself at a college party.

When he's offered a drink, he declines, saying,

"I have a big day tomorrow." 

When he's asked, "Doing what?" he responds, "Well, um... actually, a pretty nice little Saturday. We're gonna go to Home Depot, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed Bath and Beyond... I don't know. I don't know if we'll have enough time..."

Why is is that everyone I know who's seen that movie remembers that scene? Obviously people remember it because it's funny. But there's far more going on in the scene that just going to Home Depot on a Saturday. 

 This man in this movie is bored. 

He has the life that is often portrayed as the ideal - a wife, a house, a job, security, comfort, privilege, freedom - and yet it's left him bored, numb, and in a low-grade state of despair. His "success" has actually served to distract him from just how deeply unsatisfied he is with his life.

I assume none of us want to starve or be shot at or lose someone we love, but it's possible to die a sort of death at the other end of the spectrum as well, isn't it?

If we aren't careful, our success and security and abundance can lead to a certain sort of boredom, a numbing predictability, a paralyzing indifference that comes from being too comfortable.

 Death by wallpaper and flooring (p 39).

Yes, so for now, that at least is my answer to this ever-present and pressuring question: "What am I going to do with this life?"

I am going to LIVE, live in such a way that I won't suffer death by wallpaper and flooring.

I hope you're able to do the same.