Your Dash: sharing a thought-provoking poem

I'm in the "real world" now.

I get up early and grocery shop and even was lucky enough to find a job.

Though my job may not pay a lot and it will only last the summer, it is going to be the best foundation I could hope for to begin the rest of my career. I'm starting out in the real world as the Mission Team Coordinator for Lowcountry Ministries.

Aka: my job is to go out in the community, serve, and love on people - and help others to do the same.

See? I told ya. It is a great first step into the real world.

It is helping me keep things in perspective as I figure out what to pursue in my future profession.

Thanks to my job and my great boss, Larry Leming,  I was recently reminded of The Dash Poem by Linda Ellis which also helps me keep things in perspective.

So, regardless of where you are in your profession or the real world, "would you be proud of the things they say about how you spent your dash?"

The Graduate Life: Old School Supplies

In trying to unpack now that I've graduated and left campus, I've realized that I have a lot of things - especially school supplies - that I don't know that I'll ever need again.

For example:

• A pencil case: Like really? Why did I still have one of these past the 3rd grade??? But, anyways, I'm hoping I'll never need to have that many writing utensils on hand ever again that they will require their own separate box!

 

• Twix XL sheets: I didn't know that bed size even existed until I moved into my freshman dorm-room ;) I'm pretty sure I'll never own a bed that requires those size sheets again...  assuming I can get a job where I earn the funds to afford a full bed!

 

• Those calculators with 100+ buttons: Seriously? Math is complicated enough as is; when I cannot even figure out how to input the numbers into the calculator to compute the calculation, it is overwhelming. And hopeless. I thought calculators were supposed to be our friends!?! When I realized I had finished my last math class I wanted to throw my calculator out of the window or run it over with my car or some other celebration to be done with it BUUUUTTTT I have yet to tackle my taxes in the "real world' so I thought against destroying my fancy calculator just yet ;) 

 

• Binder clips: Even though these came in every office supply container of paper clips, thumb tacks, etc.that I bought, I don't think I ever used one.

 

If, like me, you're a fan of staplers instead of those binder clips to hold your papers together, perhaps you might appreciate this article I found today. You can try these 6 Life Changing Uses of Binder Clips as an alternative to their traditionally intended use ;)

Sadly, I did not find such an article for the countless other items simply collecting dust in the corner of my closet as I hate to throw them away, yet I don't really know how to use them in this post-college life...

If you have any suggestions for utilizing college items in the real world, send them my way ;)

An Unusual Bedtime Story... for adults

This is not Southern Belle.

And it is not Feminist.

BUT, it is funny.

And it has some foul language so this post is not PG. But that is to be expected with a title like this:

Go the F--- to Sleep

No. Lie. 

Described as "Honest, profane, and affectionate" and "Beautiful, subversive, and pants-wettingly funny" by OutisdetheBeltway.com it is a children's book... for adults. 

It is for anyone who has struggled to get a kid to go to sleep whether they were a parent, a baby-sitter, big sister or brother, grandparent, etc. I've been babysitting for 10 years now and I know I've certainly felt the frustrations this book captures.

Written by Adam Mansbach, below he does a dramatic reading from this morning's Today Show and as their website warns: 

"Watching this video may cause uncontrollable laughter. Please remove children from room before viewing, and arrange pillows on floor in case you literally fall off your chair laughing."  

ENJOY his story time here!!!

I'm sure many of us have done a little improv with expletives (at least in our head!) during story time in the wee hours of the morning but when this man finally put those words on paper in a real book, it took off! 

The Today Show reported that "Seemingly overnight, it shot up to No. 1 on the Amazon pre-order list, his publisher bumped up the release date to June 14 and the book has even been optioned for a movie! Apparently parents world-wide can relate to his simple, satirical tale."

And in case you did too, you can buy a copy here on Amazon ;) 

Now, because I have a very early day tomorrow, I must go so I can - you guessed it:

Go the f--- to sleep ;)

Southern Belle Slip-up: On Doors and Attitude

Letting the door fall in someone's face is not an action; it is an attitude. 

                                                                                      - Cindy Grosso

So I had a little slip-up recently, in addition to not posting in a long time - sorry about that; my summer job has been keeping me busy!

But, my slip-up involved doors and attitude. 

I was heading into the post office to buy stamps and some envelopes.Here is what unfolded:

An older woman was maybe a foot in front of me and then a middle-aged woman was at my heels and the three of us walked in together - all through the door in less than 30 seconds.

I was lost in my thinking, trying to tally up how many stamps I needed and what size envelopes would fit the different items I was about to mail out, etc. etc. That mental concentration was broken when I heard this:

"You coulda said thank you.  [And then louder] You coulda said thank you!"

The older woman had stopped about three feet in the door while I had veered hard to the right to complete my mission in search of those stamps and envelopes. I turned around, startled to realize she was speaking to me. She continued:

"Yes, you. You coulda said thank you. Young lady, you are so rude and ungrateful -"

I must stop to interject for y'all a little explanation. I was born and bred in South Carolina and my Mama and Daddy raised me right: I know my manners and I use them. Or I thought I did.

In confusion and embarrassment, I listened on (along with about 10 others in the store who now noticed as the older woman had raised her voice):

"Next time I'll just let the door slam in your face. Can't believe you didn't say thank you. So rude."

The poor woman who had come in behind me - and I might add did not say thank you either - stood between myself and the older woman like a deer in the headlights. Furthermore, just about the entire room was now staring at all of this unfolding.

The whole situation had AWKWARD written all over it!

But I had slipped up.

In an attempt to smooth things over gracefully, I stuttered out an "I'm sorry" and "thank you for holding the door" though my gut reaction might have involved something a little less polite ;)

Being called out like that made me feel like I had failed in my Southern Belle ways. 

I had not realized she had really gone out of her way to hold the door open or I would have said something. Ordinarily, when anyone lingers to hold open a door or steps aside and lets me enter first or something a little more obvious like that, I never fail to thank them.

In fact, I even do those things for others - female, male, old, young, black, white. It doesn't matter.

I always try to hold open the door for others, especially after I heard the introductory quote:

Letting the door fall in someone's face is not an action; it is an attitude. 

                                                                                 - Cindy Grosso 

Cindy Grosso from the Charleston School of Etiquette and Protocol lead an event in table manners for a leadership group I was a part of. And she was legit; she has even been on Dr. Phil ;)

But, honestly, more than the table manners, the biggest thing that struck me in her presentation was that side comment about the doors; I'm ashamed to say I can hardly remember how to use all the utensils BUT I do often remember that quote about the doors.

As she explained, if you cannot take 5 seconds out of your day to linger and hold the door for someone, that says a lot about your arrogance and self-absorption but also of how little you think of that person behind you.

It truly is an attitude more than an action to snub someone by letting a door fall in their face.

As for my situation, I just can't help but wonder what Ms. Grosso would have to say about the woman who caused the commotion with me in the post office... and her attitude.

Regardless, that moment in the post office now joins the lesson I learned at  my leadership event. Though I was going in for a completely different thing - stamps and envelopes - I came out with something unexpected  seared into my memory:

the lesson that one should ALWAYS say "thank you" when someone holds the door cause you never know what attitude you might get otherwise!

9 Words Women Use - a little humor for ya ;)

I wish I could say I wrote this but I just came across it in a chain email so Lord knows who the author is. Even though I cannot pass along the credit to the clever person who created this, it was just too funny so I had to share it with y'all.

I hope you enjoy...

9 Words Women Use

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. "Five minutes" is only actually five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the football game before helping around the house.

3. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

4. A Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing there and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer quickly to No. 9 for the meaning of "nothing.")

5. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

6. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question or faint. Just say "you're welcome." (I want to add a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" - that will bring on No. 7).

7. Whatever: This is a woman's way of saying "F--- YOU!"

8. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to No. 4.

9. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in "Fine;" (Refer back to No. 1 for the meaning of "fine.").

As a woman, though I hate to admit it, I would have to attest to the accuracy of much of what you see above... as do all of my female friends.

So, guys: take notes!!!  ;) 

Again, disclaimer: other than some editing and adding emphasis on certain sections, I did not write the 9 Words That Women Use and I don't know who did. It can be found all over the internet by simply searching the title. Let me know if you discover the author!

I'd Like to Introduce You to TED...

I have recently gotten to know TED.

TED is not my newest crush...that would be Scotty McCreery from American Idol. He is so, so, so precious. I mean, hello:

Singin'  Thompson Square's "Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not" 

I'd kiss him... but he is only 17!?! That might be robbin' the cradle ;)

Sorry, I digress.

Back to TED who is not my crush because TED is... not a person.  

TED is an awesome website with the primary purpose of providing access to

Ideas Worth Spreading.

Isn't that cool? 

It is a nonprofit that "started out (in 1984) as a conference bringing together people from three worlds: Technology, Entertainment, Design. Since then its scope has become ever broader." (1)

The additional topic themes are Business, Science, Culture, Arts, and Global Issues. But the home page features a variety of videos from all the different topics. And, even cooler: you can rearrange the homepage by things like: 

•  most emailed 
• most commented on  
• most jaw dropping 
• most inspiring/courageous/beautiful/persuasive/fascinating/funny/ingenious/informative
• and more...

I could spend days on this website. 

I love their mission: 

"We believe passionately in the power of ideas to change attitudes, lives and ultimately, the world. So we're building here a clearinghouse that offers free knowledge and inspiration from the world's most inspired thinkers, and also a community of curious souls to engage with ideas and each other." (1)

And lots of people are on-board with TED's mission:

Their advisory board includes people from diverse backgrounds - everything from an anthropologist to an architect, a physicist to a futurist, AND big names like the CEO of Amazon and the founders of Google... even Meg Ryan!?! 

TED stays busy: 

"Along with two annual conferences -- the TED Conference in Long Beach and Palm Springs each spring, and the TEDGlobal conference in Edinburgh UK each summer -- TED now includes the award-winning TEDTalks video series, the Open Translation Project and Open TV Project, the inspiring TED Fellows and TEDx programs, the social media platform TED Conversations, and the annual TED Prize." (1) More info here.

Lastly, here are a couple of my favorite finds (so far) on TED: 

Viktor Frankl: Why to believe in others

A talk all the way from 1972 is still relevant: how to make people reach their full potential, using an example of planes...

 

Ron Gutman: The hidden power of smiling

  Smiling is as stimulating as pounds of chocolate and thousands of dollars and helps your marriage and your health... plus, it makes you look good! 

(1) are quotes taken from ted.com 

Shooting for the Moon: Graduation and Women Who Changed Our World

I graduated. A week ago, today.

Holy sh- wait. That would not be very Southern Belle of me ;)

But, gah! It really happened!?! 


Saturday, May 7th, I crossed the Cistern (yes, Cistern... not an auditorium stage. We do things differently at C of C!).

 No cap and gown... white sundresses and summer tuxedos :)

I hope you aren't jealous! 

A week later, the beauty and charm and celebration of the ceremony has settled.

Now, I have to enter the "real world."

And, I am excited-nervous-frightened-pumped.

What do I hope to do?

What any Southern Belle Feminist would:

Change. The. World. 

Lofty - yes - but, as they say:

Whether you've just graduated or not,

I hope you're shootin' for the moon, too.

If you need a little inspiration, check out these 125 women who shot for the moon and changed our world.

Here are a few of my favorites and some you may have never heard of before:

• Diana, Princess of Wales - activist and icon 
• Nancy Drew - yes, as in the teen detective... I swear I think I read every single book in the series growing up! 
• Rosie the Riveter - hello girl power! 
• Anne Frank - I have been journaling ever since I read her book.  
• Helen Keller - true example that women can overcome whatever life throws at them
• Wendy Kopp - founder of Teach for America 
• Gertrude Belle Elion - medical researcher who helped us transplant organs and fight Leukemia 
• Rosalind Franklin - first to discover proof about the double-helix in DNA
• Jacqueline Cochran - first woman to break the sound barrier 
• Valentina Tereshkova - first woman in space
• Mia Hamm - "She scored more international goals than any other soccer player, and led a generation of adolescent girls to change their minds about sports."
• Wilma Rudolph - "She overcame polio to become a runner, winning three gold medals in one Olympics, the first American woman to do so."
• Eve Ensler - creator of The Vagina Monologues 
• Gloria Steinem - feminist writer and activist
• Betty Friedan - author of The Feminine Mystique and cofounder of the National Organization for Women 
• Jeannette Rankin - first woman elected to Congress... back in 1916
• Gertrude Ederle - "First woman to swim the English Channel (beating the men's record by nearly two hours), 1926."  
•  Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton - suffragists and women's rights supporters
• Hedy Lamarr - "Inventor of an anti-jamming device for radio-controlled torpedoes, 1942." And a glam actress... talk about multi-talented ;)
  
  Clearly, all of these women are talented.
  
  Hopefully, as I enter the real world, I can follow in their footsteps to change the world and succeed in life:
  
  

  Success:  To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.  This is to have succeeded! 

                                                                       ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
  
  
  

  

  Me, about to "Cross the Cistern"

  
  

  

    And, across, an official College of Charleston alum!
  
  

  Now I'm off to enter [and hopefully change...] the real world! 

  
  

  I hope you'll join me and...