Sarah Grace Glasses Moment(s)

I had two pairs of glasses. And how many did I break? Oh, you guessed it: two.

And how many times? Five. Yes. Five times.

Below is the real-life, ridiculous story of yet another Sarah Grace moment.

Unexpected Ending: Break # 1

My glasses were by no means brand new (I got both pairs with a buy one get one free groupon or something like that in 2008) but they weren't exactly old either. I certainly didn't think that their days were numbered. 

That is why over Christmas break I was shocked one morning when I got up and they broke. Just as casually as anything, I was in the bathroom and when I tilted my head down to find my toothpaste in the drawer, they fell right off my face and on the way down, one of the arms came clear off the glasses. 

And, of course, it wasn't a simple screw that came out and could be easily repaired. No, it was the actual entire arm coming apart from the glasses frame. 

I was shocked and bummed BUT I had my alternate pair and so I figured I could make do with those. 

Well, I was wrong: 

Another One Bites the Dust: Break # 2

 Less than a week later - seriously - my other pair broke. I was in the attic putting away Christmas decorations when they slid off my face and kicked up a pile of dust. When the dust cleared and I found them lying there, they too had lost an arm. 

I couldn't believe it. 

When I contacted the store where I purchased them, they told me that the warranty was only good for a year so I couldn't have them repaired or replaced. 

Ugh.

As for buying a new pair, not so simple because... even though I am no longer a student, I am covered by my parents' insurance for everything but... drum-roll please... optical. Naturally.

Since there was now no way around it, I began the search for a new, affordable pair of glasses and, in the mean time, decided to go Martha Stewarty and make do with my current glasses by hot-gluing them together. I thought the clear, durable glue might be a little stronger than tape and less noticeable or fashionably-offensive.

Harmful Hug: Break # 3

Hot glue may have been stronger than tape but it wasn't stronger than a cadet. For my job, I work with the Citadel and for those of you who don't know, it is a military college. As a result, the students there are strong and when they greet me, they give me can-hardly-breathe-bear-hugs as a hello.

On my very first day back at work, after the long break, one of my cadets was a little too over-zealous in his hello and as he went in for a hug, I warned "Watch the glasses!"

Alas, it was too late. 

I heard a snap and I felt them fall. 

The first pair of glasses that broke had broken again; there they lay with the same severed arm.

Troubling Tape: Break # 4

I searched through my still-to-be-unpacked bags and couldn't find my alternate pair anywhere :/ So what did I do? I taped them. Yes, unfortunately, I didn't have a glue gun here in Charleston but what did I have? 

Duct tape. 

And that will always, always, ALWAYS do the job, right? 

I'm afraid not... at least not when Sarah Grace is involved ;) 

I had them taped up and though the silver hardly blended in with my purple glasses, the tape at least wasn't in the cliche-over-the-nose-geek position but instead on the side. I told myself that surely when I styled my hair towards that side of my face, the tape was hardly visible... Yes, that is what I told myself. Thank God for side-swept bangs ;) 

But, you won't believe what happened next. 

I still can't even explain it. 

The next morning, the tape and the arm that was attached by the tape were missing from my glasses. I looked all over the bathroom and all over my bedroom but it hasn't turned up, even now, over a week later. 

My only explanation - since I had left my glasses in the bathroom on the sink above the toilet - is that somehow, some way the arm possibly slipped in the toilet and was flushed away...? I don't even know if it is possible for an eye-glasses arm to be flushed down a toilet but I truly have no other feasible explanation other than I flushed the arm away.

Crushing Realization: Break # 5

At this point I was pretty desperate. I called my mom and told her that I had destroyed one pair of glasses, three different times in the time-span of about 10 days. 

While I had ordered a new pair (more on that in a later post), I couldn't function with a broken, armless pair of glasses for another week. I was hoping I could beg her to meet me halfway between my home and Charleston to give me my alternate pair of glasses which I still had not found, even after unpacking my bags. 

I concluded that, even though I thought I had packed them up with me, I must have left them in my bathroom at home. But, heavens no. Sarah Grace wouldn't do something as simple as that!

Upon inquiring about my other pair of glasses, my mom said that she actually had found a lens in the front yard. 

That's right, people. A lens. Not a pair of glasses. ONE LENS. 

When she mentioned it to my dad, he said that he actually had found an eyeglasses arm in the driveway. 

It seems that the glasses must have fallen out when I was loading up my car to leave.

And where did they fall? 

Not to the side of my car. 

Not on the porch on the way out the door. 

Nope.

They fell right behind my car. 

I ran over my other pair of glasses!?!

Crushed. Them. To. Pieces.

So basically, I was SOL. 

2 pairs of glasses broken 5 times in approximately a week and a half. 

Go big or go home, I always say... but this may take that to new heights ;) 

Fortunately, I found an awesome new pair of glasses from an amazing company which I will blog about soon! 

Until then, I'm just wearing my contacts as long as possible each day and then managing with my lop-sided, one-armed, non-crushed-by-a-car glasses ;)