Here's to Sweet Peaches - Struggles and Triumph (and Butterflies too!)

I don't particularly care for peaches. (I know, how can I call myself a Southern Belle???) But I promise I like grits and biscuits and good home cooking... just not peaches.

Having said that, maybe I just haven't ever tasted a peach that had to struggle.

Peaches that struggle end up tasting sweeter.

This may sound strange but below in an email excerpt from the director of my grad school program is an explanation:

There is an orchard outside of Bowling Green, KY, that grows the world's best peaches (I realize this is a bold claim, but trust me).  Once my mom and I were there buying peaches and one of the owners told us that they had had the perfect year for peaches because the conditions had been a little bit difficult.  He went on to tell us that the best way to grow peaches was in conditions that aren't too difficult (because then the peaches die), but also aren't too perfect because, "the peaches are sweeter when they have to struggle."

Interesting, isn't it?

Even more interesting is the next bit of that same email from my director, Sarah Suiter:

I think this principle applies to humans (and gatherings of humans, like community) as well, and am hopeful that the conditions you're facing are of the "a little bit difficult" variety :). 

This concept really resonated with me.

I love quotes and referred to this one throughout the process of applying to grad school:

And now that I am in grad school, it takes even more work. (Duh.)

This weekend in particular, I have been preparing for my first test of graduate school, a 30 page paper that is due soon AND prepping to lead the class that I TA while my professor is out of the country for a conference this week. Yes. Because life always happens all at once. Doesn't it seem like things aren't ever spread out in a way that would make them easier to tackle?

Not usually.

Often, there is struggle.

Struggle in pursuing a grad school degree, in making a long distance relationship work, in establishing community in a new city, in finding a new church home, in figuring out your future... not that I speak from experience or anything ;)

But the good stuff - earning a master degree and As on tests, marrying the man you love, making solid friends, feeling a part of a church, discovering your life plan - all that stuff is WORTH the work it takes...

And I have a feeling that it probably wouldn't feel so good if it didn't take that effort... just like a peach doesn't taste as sweet without a little struggle.

This idea - that struggle makes life (and peaches) taste sweeter - keeps reminding me of this wonderful short film I saw a few years ago called The Butterfly Circus.

It tells the story of a different kind of circus traveling around during the Great Depression era. In particular, it focuses on a limbless man who was degraded as a freak in a side show of a typical circus but then is transformed by coming into community with the Butterfly Circus.

The leader of the Butterfly Circus has a beautiful mantra that goes along with the idea of struggle leading to sweetness:

"The greater the struggle, the more glorious the triumph."

If you haven't seen the film, I highly recommend you watch it.
It gives phenomenal perspective when you think something like grad school homework is actually hard. Maybe I should re-watch it right now...? ;)

But, really, the film is wonderful and I hope you find time to watch it.

Going with the film's and circus' symbolism, just think of the work and struggle a caterpillar endures to become a butterfly.

That is certainly a sweet ending.

Whatever you're dealing with in life right now, I hope - to quote my director and her email - "that the conditions you're facing are of the 'a little bit difficult' variety."


Here's to sweet peaches and struggles turning into triumph in life!

Having as Much Sense as a Goose: What I'm Learning in Grad School

I am getting settled in Nashville, completing training for my new job, meeting people... annnnnd drowning in reading.

My head is spinning but I'm loving it.

So far I've studied developmental theories of justice and freedom, criticisms of neo-liberalism, the capabilities approach, information on different types of epistemology and methodology. Etc. Etc. Etc.

You see why my head is spinning? ;)

I've literally had to use the dictionary countless times just to read the first paragraph of some of these chapters and articles. It is definitely on a different level than under-grad.

But, in the midst of all these big words and complicated concepts, I was delighted to run across this excerpt that I absolutely LOVED, so I wanted to share it:

THE GOOSE STORY 

"Next fall, when you see geese heading south for the winter, flying along in V formation, you might consider what science has discovered as to why they fly that way: As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an uplift for the bird immediately following. By flying in V formation the whole flock adds at least 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own. 

People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going more quickly and easily because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.

When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go it alone and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front. 

If we have as much sense as a goose, we will stay in formation with those who are headed the same way we are.

When the head goose gets tired, it rotates back in the wing and another goose flies point.

It is sensible to take turns doing demanding jobs with people or with geese flying south.

Geese honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.

What do we say when we honk from behind?

Finally, and this is important, when a  goose gets sick, or is wounded by gunshots and falls out of formation, two other geese fall out with that goose and follow it down to lend help and protection. They stay with the fallen goose until it is able to fly, or until it dies. Only then do they launch out on their own or with another formation to catch up with their group. 

If only we could have as much sense as a goose."  

Is that not the sweetest thing??? And all I thought geese had to offer was their nasty poop all over our backyard when the flock stops off by our lake before heading the rest of the way down south!?!

But, really, though it may be a little cheesy, that excerpt from Randy Stoecker's book was refreshing in its simplicity and it resonated with me.

Community development (and learning about it in grad school) is challenging but we can take a hint from the geese by encouraging one another, working together, sharing the workload and taking care of each other.

Sounds pretty sensible to me :)

 

 

 

 

 

Highlights from my 1st Week in Tennessee!!!

Today marks one week since I loaded up all my belongings and moved 10 hours away from home.

Gah!!!???!!!

It has been a whirlwind but a wonderful one.

I am acclimating to Tennessee: I already bought some beef jerky and a bottle of discount liquor. Now all I need is a pair of cowgirl boots...

This week was non-stop new people and places and experiences.

Here are a few highlights:

1) I moved into my apartment with all my craigs list items and craft projects; I am nearly settled and pictures will come soon :) I am really excited because the location is even better than I realized - I am across the street from campus and near fabulous places like parks, a grocery store, a Walgreens, a police station, a coffee shop, a car service place, a verizon store and an ice cream shop... pretty much anything I could possibly need ;)

2) I started my new job. I have a great boss and 2 really nice co-workers + the work seems like it will be hard but interesting. My main focus is marketing and communication but also a bit of admin and leading trainings for a campus event program.

3) I explored campus. And, oh the irony! I found out that my first GRADUATE SCHOOL classes will be held in none-other than the HOME-ECONOMICS building!?! How appropriate for a Southern Belle Feminist ;)

4) I met most of my classmates. Our first event together was a service project which was so sweet. We went to a local boys and girls club and did finger painting, face painting, dance, sports, etc. I got back in touch with my elementary school self and played a pretty fierce game or two of four-square ;)

5) In the midst of all my errands and unpacking, I did get to do a smidge of touring with my boyfriend before he left.

Our favorite spot was visiting the Parthenon replica:

6) And, of course, I have already had several Sarah Grace moments. Here is one that my boyfriend managed to capture on camera ;)

So what I was trying to do was hug the column (like the first photo below) to give a gauge of how huge this building was...

But, here is what happened on my first try when I accidentally went in a little too close for the hug and banged my head on the cement. Fortunately, it didn't leave a bruise! 

Tomorrow and Tuesday are my orientation and then classes begin after that...

I'll keep y'all posted.

xoxo

Updates from a Summer full of Sarah Grace Moments

Outside my house, a huge u-haul sits in my drive-way holding all of my belongings and the promise of adventures and education to be found in Tennessee. I leave tomorrow morning!?!

But with all my excitement and anxiety and energy, I cannot bring myself to sleep so I figured I would blog.

It has been a busy summer as I have been: 

• The only staff person at BCM for the last 4 months with student orientations, remodeling of our facility, fall planning, etc.
• Preparing for graduate school 
• Finding, painting and sprucing up craigs list and goodwill items for my Tennessee apartment 
• Finally catching up with the rest of the world and reading the entire Hunger Games series
• Also, becoming (I think...?) the last Christian female to read Redeeming Love (clearly, I am trying to get in a casual reading kick before graduate school hits, ha!)
• Enjoying having my twin brother in town since he moved here a couple months ago
• Trying to see all my friends and family before moving
• Etc. etc. etc. 

BUT, never fail, in the midst of all that, I did not forget to document the many Sarah Grace moments that inevitably happened ;) 

Here are a few of my favorites:

1) "Pee" Stain 

I worked several new student orientations this summer. Let me set the scene:

Tables are lined up across from each other, running down either side of the street. For some reason, the college was inflicting cruel and unusual punishment on us as they scheduled orientations from noon-2pm  (in AUGUST in SOUTH CAROLINA!!!) and, naturally, my table was not in the shade... so I practically melted every time I was out there.

But sweaty gross and all, I still tried to look decent so I usually wore a summer sundress. The one this day just happened to be white. Of course.

Across from my table were the hilarious and fabulous (and stereotypically loud) Jewish women at the Hillel table who I became quite close to this summer. I turned my back to them to grab for my phone because I heard my phone alert me to this text:

Just heard something I thought you would LOVE. Robin Roberts' mom always said "make your mess your message"

The saying is very cute and cheesy and positive so my friend was right: I loved it.

BUT, the crazy thing was - and I kid you not - I had a chance to do just that.

No sooner had I finished reading that text, Marsha from the Hillel table hollered (in her loud, Jewish voice AND in front of the students and families), "Sarah, what's all over your butt?" 

I looked down to find what looked to be a pee stain right on the butt of my white dress:

All I can figure is that when I had gone to a coffee shop... oh, just about 5 hours before that moment... I must have sat in spilled coffee...? And with that obvious stain on my rear-end, I had walked all over town that morning and in front of a ton of people at the orientation. Real classy.

But, as for how to make that mess my message - I suppose it would be something like "If you are confident, you are beautiful - even after sitting in coffee and having an awkward pee-esque stain on your rear-end all day" Oy vey!

2) Pitiful Picnic

I may or may not have become addicted to groupon this summer in an attempt to affordably experience Charleston before I left.

But, you know what they say: you win some and you lose some.

This was definitely not a win.

First off, this was what it looked like the day our groupon catered picnic was scheduled to be delivered: great weather for a picnic, wouldn't you say???

Second of all, the lady was late to deliver it. While we were waiting on her, the rain started. We couldn't find shelter so - starving and wet- we returned to my house.

I was bummed because, on principle, I thought you simply couldn't have a picnic INdoors.

But, no worries, we really couldn't because my roomie was at the house watching tv with a friend - obviously, not very romantic background noise for my boyfriend and I to enjoy our PICNIC at the kitchen table.

Instead, we opted to eat the picnic on my front porch with a beautiful view of... the parking lot while we were being feasted on by about 5,000 mosquitoes.

But, wait, I haven't even mentioned the "catered" food:

• The "basket" wasn't an adorable wicker one but this plastic walmart tub
• The wine was a brand we later saw that sold for $3.47 for an ENTIRE bottle
• The food was pre-packaged and we think it was bought from Piggly Wiggly... some of the price stickers were clearly just scraped off
• What we thought were sparklers were really some strange incense 
• In the bottom of the tub, there was a dirty towel that I guess they had propped everything up on to make it look like there was more stuff in the tub than there really was...? gah-rosss.

It was so bad.

But certainly memorable ;)

3) Attacked by a bull

I recently went to a winery with my grandparents. In the vineyards, they had a bull just roaming.

He seemed docile enough and I had seen other people petting him and taking pictures with him earlier in the day. Since I feel the need to take photos all the time, of course I wanted one with him.

I approached and saw 3 girls near the bull taking pictures. I offered to take one of all 3 of them with the bull but they said they had taken enough though they offered to take my picture.

I said thanks and swapped places with one of the girls standing near the bull.
His head was facing away from me and I was about 2 feet away from him.
I was smiling big and ready to take the photo when all of a sudden:

• He turned around
• Stepped on my foot
• Rammed his horn into my thigh (where there is now a nice, dark purple bruise about the size of a golf-ball)
• He knocked me to the ground
• I thought he was going to trample me and I was horrified

The 3 girls rushed at me and asked if I was ok, helping me off the ground and shooing off the bull.

We don't have a clue why he attacked but it certainly was a Sarah Grace moment. 

And, after all that, of course I had to document it - just standing a little farther away from the bull this time... and by a little, I mean a lot ;) 

That was just a taste of some of my recent Sarah Grace moments; I am sure there are many more to come!

I suppose now that I need to force myself to try to fall asleep but I will blog again (hopefully soon) and next time from Tennessee =D

Perhaps I'm a Prude: Thoughts on Modesty and Bikinis

Even though I live in Charleston - a beautiful beach destination - I, sadly, don't make it to the beach much.

This is not because of any moral stance, simply that I'm busy and never tan but simply freckle and burn.

However, in recent years, I have begun to have a moral dilemma in dealing with bathing suits.
Several friends and I have discussed if we should... quit wearing bikinis.

Gasp.
Many people think it's ludicrous
Or prudish
To contemplate another option.

Even though I am an adult and now live on my own, I am sure that my father would beat my 24-year-old butt if I tried to walk around in public in my bra and underwear. But a bikini - oh, don't worry dad - this bra and panties are waterproof so all ethical issues are now removed.

????

When it comes to bathing suits, modesty is pushed to the side because these are for the beach, not the bedroom. Duh.

I am just not so sure.

And then of course there are all the feminist notions out there that a woman should be able to wear (or not wear) whatever she wants and a man can't touch her or judge her... in a 3-piece suit or a 2-piece bikini.

True. I agree that even if I was walking around absolutely naked, no man has a right to touch me or rape me.

But, even so, I'm don't see how women are supposed to be empowered by wearing a bikini.
Revealing so much of ourselves serves who... ? Women?

It is hardly empowering to be prancing around half-naked for many of my friends.

I have countless conversations with women who hate going to the beach, putting their bodies on display fearing they will be judged by other girls for not being thin/toned/pretty enough. Further, no one has to voice a word and women already kill their confidence at the beach with self-hatred talk comparing themselves to the twigs with big boobs and barbie-like long legs.

I do wish we could all just embrace ourselves as we are but the truth is that most women do not. But, here is to hoping that we can get a bikini body this way:

Or we could all just take a stance to quit wearing the bikini.

I get not wanting to have tan lines... or burn lines as is my usual case. So go for a strapless top. But, not having a tan belly? Is this really a problem? How many people really see your stomach? Do you display it anywhere BUT the beach?

Back to the question of who it serves when women wear bikinis.

I'm thinking men more than women.

This is not a Christian issue of worrying over a man or woman's purity, though many take that angle.

This is just a freaking self-respect issue and I think we don't need to let it all hang out in front of a bunch of a strangers in public.

I like the way Jessica Rey phrased it:

"Modesty isn't about covering up our bodies because they're bad. Modesty isn't about hiding ourselves. It's about revealing our dignity." 

Rey has recently added a lot to this discussion of modesty and doing away with bikinis through this video presentation and also her line of modest retro swimwear, inspired by Audrey Hepburn.

So there you have it.

Perhaps I'm a prude but those are my thoughts on modesty and bikinis ;)

Controlling the Lake: Toxic Charity & what I plan to study

I recently finished one of the best books I have ever read: ToxicCharity – How churches and charities hurt those they help (and how to reverseit) by Robert D. Lupton. 

Among its many great points, the book offers the best description of Community Development that I have yet come across. I hadn’t really heard of community development until I stumbled across the graduateprogram I’ll be starting this fall. Further, most of my friends/family/anyone really, stare a bit blankly when I tell them I plan to study “community development,” so I thought I would provide Lupton’s description of it here: 

Controlling the Lake

Feed a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he’ll eat for a lifetime. It’s conventional wisdom. 

But what happens when the fish disappear from the lake due to pollution or overfishing? 

Then it’s time for a change of strategy. Someone has to figure out how to get control of the lake: stop the pollutants, issue fishing licenses, put wildlife-management policies in place. Teaching a man to fish is an individual matter; but gaining control of the lake is a community issue. 

That’s why we call it “community development” and not human services. While those of us in community development value personal, hands-on, high-touch ministry, we also see that there are larger issues that have an impact on a person’s potential for growth. What good is job training if the available jobs won’t  enable a man to support his family? Or what benefit is homeownership if the home is in a deteriorating, crime-infested neighborhood? If we are to teach people to both fish and thrive, we must figure out how to make use of the lake’s potential…. (p108-109). 

Later, on page 114, he adds another example: “A microloan may help a family buy a cart to haul their produce but it will not pave a road made impassible during the rainy season – that takes community development.” 

And that is what I want to do: community development….maximizing the potential of figurative lakes :)  I don’t know exactly how but I want to work to allow entire communities to use their assets and abilities to make the most of themselves for their benefit and the world’s. 

Lofty, yes. 

But I am a dreamer and I’m hoping this degree will help me figure out how to make more of these dreams a reality.

Small Parking Lots and Actually Loving Your Neighbor...

In August, I am moving to Nashville and I'm already looking for a church to join.

The following paragraph radically altered my search: 

"Ask yourself: What is my parish? Historically, churches have had vested interest in their surrounding communities. And members often lived within walking distance of the church (explaining small parking lots). Pastors lived in the parsonages attached to or near the churches, and the churches had vital roles in the life of their communities. As a society, when we became commuterized churchgoers, all that changed. Most churches have lost their community roots, with little connection to the geography surrounding their buildings." (1)

And, I would add that larger, commuterized churchogers have a great chance for lost connection to the people in the building as well as the surrounding buildings.

Hear me out.

I love my church where my pastor and many other attendees know my name, maybe even some of my story. I don't feel like just a face in the crowd. And I aim to be involved: attending on Sunday, doing service projects, belonging to a smaller community group that meets outside of church. 

BUT what if I didn't live 20-30 minutes away from my churchgoers but lived and went to church with my neighbors.

In my Nashville church search, I had fallen in love with this big church that will be about 30 minutes away from where I hope to live. I no longer plan to go there. I want to find one much closer because...

What if I saw my pastor and other churchgoers in my local grocery store, at the corner gas station, went for walks with them on weekday mornings? What if knowing a mom in my community group was sick, instead of sending a little prayer via text, I lived close enough to stop by and watch her kids while she took a nap? Or what if knowing I was stressed out of my mind during grad school midterms, a family in my church made me dinner and invited me down the street to save me from cooking and cleaning for an evening?

Maybe, like me, you are already settled into a church and have roots there. What then?

How about we live this out:

³⁶ “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?” ³⁷ Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ ³⁸ This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ⁴⁰ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”    

                                                                              - Matthew 22:36-40 (NLT)

I'm ashamed to say that I do not even know my current neighbor's name. What if I did? What if we hung out, shared meals, spent time in each others homes? Went to church together?

Not only should we live out loving one another in our churches better as we see in 1 John:

¹¹ This is the message you have heard from the beginning: We should love one another...¹⁴ If we love our Christian brothers and sisters, it proves that we have passed from death to life. But a person who has no love is still dead...¹⁸ Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.

                                                                            - 1 John 3:11,14,18 (NLT)


We should also love those in the homes around our homes AND the homes around our churches who don't know Jesus. 

Ask yourself:  "What is my parish?"
Love. Your. Neighbor.
Believers and unbelievers.




(1) = p 170 of Toxic Charity: How Churches and Charities Hurt Those They Help (And how to reverse it) by Robert D. Lupton

You're More Beautiful Than You Think

You're More Beautiful Than You Think.

I'd be willing to bet on it.

As women especially, we are ridiculously hard on ourselves.

It has never been more apparent than in this recent experiment by Dove:

These women so misrepresented themselves. The sketch of what others saw was so much more grace-giving than the ones where they described how they perceived themselves to be.

We see - and focus on - flaws rather than our stronger features.

I do it too. 

I recently had a horrible breakout AND an even worse haircut that looked like a mix between Cindy Lou Who from the Grinch and a 1960s bouffant hairstyle. There was an increase in self-hate talk and a decrease in confidence. 

Thank God those are two very temporary situations. 

Skin clears and hair grows back. 

But, sadly, body image issues remain.

I recently saw this article that summarizes 9 things we should know about body-image issues: 

1. Was the video from above; here is a still-shot the article showed: 
   

2. 5'3" and 166.2 pounds: average height and weight for American women. 5'10" and 120 pounds: average for fashion models
3. Age 6: when girls start to express concerns about their own weight or shape. 40-60% of elementary girls: amount who are concerned about their weight or about becoming too fat. (AGE 6!?! No wonder this is a pervasive problem for women... we are conditioned to be concerned about our image by the time we begin elementary school.)
4. 12-13 years old: the median ages for onset of an eating disorder in adolescents. 20 million: U.S. women who suffer from a clinically significant eating disorder at some time in their life.
5.  4%: amount of women globally who consider themselves beautiful.
6. 2/3 of women globally: the amount who strongly agree that "the media and advertising set an unrealistic standard of beauty that most women can't ever achieve"
7. Researchers have found that "fat talk"—a phenomena in which a person makes negative claims about their weight to others—is an expected norm among women and a way for them to appear more modest.
8. A study published in the Journal of Eating Disorders found that while "fat talk" tended to decrease with age, "old talk" often came in to replace it, and that both were reported by women who appeared to have a negative body image
9. The only complete way to overcome the problem is to have our beliefs about body image transformed by the Holy Spirit. As Heather Davis says in the Journal of Biblical Counseling:

In pursuing worldly beauty, we strive to become this elusive image in place of who we really are. You and I are created in the image of the living God. Our purpose is to reflect His image to the world. But since the fall, we let the world inscribe its image on us. It is the very picture of sin and ultimately death. Instead of being transformed to God's image, we conform to the world's image...

God makes you beautiful with the beauty of His Son, Jesus. It is in gazing at God's image in Jesus Christ that you are transformed. Romans 12:1-2 says, "Therefore, I urge you, (sisters) in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not be conformed any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."

And, said in a different way, this is one of my all-time favorite slam poems, "You are Beautiful" by Mike Young. It is SO worth a listen! 

Some of my favorite lines of his are... 

• Saying that you're nothing does not honor me
• Humility isn't thinking less of you, it's thinking of you less
• This reality: you look just like your Daddy
• [who thinks you're beautiful?] "I do" proclaims the voice that spoke the skies 
• You are beautiful because of what I say... - God

Genesis 1:27 says: 

So God created human beings in his own image.
    In the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them.

We look just like our daddy. 

As Mike Young says, the voice that spoke the skies spoke our name and when He did, He had glory on his lips. 

We are beautifully and wonderfully made in the image of the creator of the entire world. 

He does not make mistakes and He made us exactly as we are... it is a slap in His face when we insult our image or anyone else since we all represent Him. 

I hope you can live out the Romans verses above. Break you mind from distorting your image from anything but beautiful.

As the Dove campaign put it, "You're More Beautiful Than You Think."

First Guest Post: The Rantings of One Emma the Kane

1) I had a delightfully long phone date with my friend Emma last week and one of the many topics we covered was the Facebook activity around the gay marriage debate. 

2) In case you missed it, there was a ton of support online with the red and pink equal signs. There were even articles written about this facebook support, as seen here. 

3) I thought my friend brought up a pretty good point that it would be awesome if our generation would get just as public about other issues and move to action beyond simply changing their profile picture on facebook. 

4) I told her she should write a blog and she sent me her thoughts in an email below; I have highlighted points in bold that I really liked. I hope y'all enjoy the change of pace with a different writer :) 

ok so i thought id go ahead and send you this while it is still brewing and stewing in my brain!  i can tell you that an introvert's brain, well at least this one's, never really shuts off.  so here we go:

forgive my lack of eloquence...i am sick and tired of hearing all this marriage equality crap every single time i open my computer or look on facebook or turn on the tv.  every single status that i see updated on facebook is about marriage equality and everyone's new profile picture is the equality symbol they have used.  i am just sick and tired of it, pass it, don't pass it, i could care less.  really as a secular government under the constitution they should pass it, so go ahead!  just don't force churches to be perform the ceremonies if they find it against their beliefs.  if you want an honest separation of church and state then truly separate the church and the state and stop forcing churches to do things.  

more importantly, why aren't people standing outside the supreme court or the white house or where this "sit in" is being performed to demand harsher convictions for child molesters and sex offenders?  or how about the millions of girls and children being kidnapped and forced into sex slavery, or not even that, those girls that are expecting to be a sex slave because their mothers and sisters and neighbors had to follow that path if they didn't get married first.  and even in those marriages, can they expect peace and protection or the same fear of rape and abuse but by the same man instead of many men in one night?  how about we worry about those millions of child soldiers that are drugged and brainwashed to do all of the horrible things to other people that their kidnappers are doing to them, watching their parents die and then killing other children?  how about those children that are afraid to be home, afraid of their own parents, brothers, uncles, grandfathers, neighbors, teachers, babysitters because of the things they do to them behind closed doors and through the guise of "trust" and "friendship."  how about the children in north korea who are so starved that they will pick the rice out of the mud that the soldiers drop, piece by piece, just to get a bite to eat?  how about the millions of people in our own backyard that can't get a freaking job so they can no longer support their families?  how about those people also in our own backyard that are being trafficked right in front of our noses as slaves? 

how about those people that see all of these things happen but they are so self consumed that they don't do anything to stop it or help in any small way they can?  I could go on and forgive this rant, but seriously, marriage equality is a first world problem and quite frankly we have bigger fish to fry.  like i said: pass it, don't pass it, i could care less at this point.  but if you're gonna make a big stink about something like that, what about these other issues where people really need the law to support them instead of failing them over and over again?  i think we all need to rethink some priorities here.

[NOTE FROM SARAH: I don't want to offend my gay friends or take any huge stance for or against gay marriage BUT I do wish people would get as vocal or more vocal about issues where people's lives are at stake or babies or starving or women are being raped. These issues are urgent and largely ignored by the general public. Show some public support for those things. So ride this wave of activism... keep it up!!!]