Golf Balls & Mayo: a great life lesson

I don't particularly like golf or mayo...but I loved this story.

Such a powerful and simple visual with a great lesson. 

I saw it on facebook recently and wanted to share:

The Mayonnaise Jar

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and two cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and fills it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “YES”.

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - God, family,
children, health, friends, and favorite passions. Things, that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else -- the small stuff.” he said.

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “There is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are
important to you...” he told them.

“So... pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Worship with your family. Play with your children. Take your partner out to dinner. Spend time with good friends. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the dripping tap. Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled and said, “I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

Please share this with other "Golf Balls"

All too often sand can distract me and fill my days :(

I hope this simple story can help us all focus more on prioritizing and appreciating our golf balls! 

Giving a S-#-@-T about Haiti: my recent trip

Tony Campolo was the keynote speaker 30 years ago at a seminary graduation.

He walked on stage and the first words in his speech to all of these Christians were:

"25,000 kids died last night - and you don't give a shit." 

The audience heard this and the whispers began: "Did he really say that?," "Oh my gosh, he just said 'shit.'!?!" etc. The whispering and tension grew and grew. Eventually it reached the president and faculty on stage who were clearly distraught, likely questioning one another about if they should intervene and apologize or let him continue and potentially say something even more shocking which is something Campolo is now known to do.

Before anyone could say anything, Campolo continued:

"The reason I know this is true is that I just told you that 25,000 KIDS DIE EVERY NIGHT and you are more concerned with the fact that I just said a 4 letter word on stage."

Sad, but true.

I heard this story from a man who was in that audience that day. 3 years ago, that story returned to his mind when he felt called by God to start an orphanage - Alex's House - in Haiti. 

And Haiti is the reason I've been in a bit of a hiatus from blogging because I was preparing to lead the trip, actually in Haiti and then resting and recovering after I got back.

I can't even begin to figure out how to get my thoughts and heart down in any brief, understandable way.

• There was so much poverty
• And so much trash which is simply not an adequate term: To take the trash out meant either burning it in a ditch or throwing it in the "river" which was more of a sloshy dump

• There was ridiculous traffic with the stance that traffic laws were mere suggestions... we only saw one stoplight and 2 stop signs the whole week and they were largely disregarded 

• Tent cities were still all around
• There was dirt and dust and mess

And then there were the people:

• The woman who was beaten and robbed right in front of the compound we were staying in; her screams were so frantic that at first we feared she was being raped
• Then there was the man who sat guard at our gate after it that night holding a foot and a half long machete 
• There was the little boy who we spotted sawing rusted rebar in the back of a moving, overflowing dump truck rushing down bumpy roads. He could not have been older than 10. 
• And then there were the 3 teen boys who saw him as the truck turned into a busy intersection. They rushed out through the cars and threw themselves on the side ladder to climb up and join him. The dumptruck did not even slow down. A Haitian woman with us said that was how it was in Haiti: if you wanted work, you were gonna have to get it.

• The little neighborhood boy who hung out with us at the orphanage we were fixing up who was clearly malnourished with his bloated belly and twig arms and legs. Despite his lack of, when we gave him bits of our lunch each day, he taught us a beautiful lesson and SHARED, immediately leaving to give some to his brother before he even tasted the food.

• The countless street children we played with in the afternoons who were dirty, half naked and often barefoot, sick with a snotty nose and SO FULL OF JOY. They laughed and sang and played and hugged, so very grateful even with how little they had. Below is probably the most joyful boy in Haiti... and my favorite ;) Meet Paul!

And there were so many more children like him.

1 in every 5 children in Haiti will DIE before their 5th birthday. (1)

Many of us are familiar with the troubles of Haiti - particularly after the 2010 earthquake - but we don't DO much about them.

I'm by no means tooting my own horn for going; in fact, I feel like I could/should have done so much more...

I don't even know how to begin to do something to fix all the problems I saw.

But I do know, to quote another Alex's House visitor, that "I have seen things I can't unsee." And now, excuse my language, I give a shit.

I hope you do too.

More facts about Haiti can be found here and here and here.

I hope to blog more in the future about ways we can do something.

Rising to a Better Story: Visiting Vandy

This weekend was my first official visit to Vanderbilt as an accepted student.

I was a little nervous but mostly excited... excited to meet the professors, meet my classmates, get questions answered, explore where I'll be living, etc.

Last night was SO much fun! It was a trivia night put on by the graduate student association.

I was the only prospective student who showed up from my program because the social was an optional event. This meant I got the undivided attention of my team, 5 current students who were a wealth of stories and advice and housing suggestions.

There was pizza and candy, laughter and high fives. Loud music. Bonding.

We even won a prize.... for coming in last place. Real life.

It was a really promising start to graduate school ;)

But seriously: I couldn't have asked for a better beginning to my time here.

--------------

Then today was the big day: 9am - 5pm... full of meetings and people and information.

Honestly, it was all a little overwhelming. Even for me, an extreme social butterfly.

The reality of this next season of life hit me like a brick wall.

Finding housing.
Finding a roommate.
Figuring out financial aid.
Realizing I'm probably about to have to take out several loans and go into debt.
Realizing I'm about to have homework and reading and papers and classes again.
Realizing I know ONE PERSON in all of Nashville.
Realizing I'll be away from all the people I know and love back home in SC.

BUT also realizing:
- There is so much opportunity ahead of me
- I'm going to learn and grow so much
- I will get to meet and make new friends here
- I get to make this place my new home

----------------

Then, I read this post today from the SheLoves website I told you about in my last post.

When you get past the lady's pretty pictures, you get to what she is really talking about. She came to a decision point in her life where she lost her job and had to choose to go for her dream and take a leap of faith that it would work out.

Vandy and this degree and where it will take me are my leap of faith. 
So is leaving my home and comfort and community.

I loved what the lady said in her post:

Fear had a hold of me.

But for once this wasn’t the “What if I never create something awe-inspiring, profound or useful?” kind of Fear.

This was the “What if I leap and actually make the world a better place?” kind of Fear.

To be honest, right now after this long day with an information-and-new-face-overload, I feel more fear than excitement or peace.

But, I think I feel that fear because I am realizing I might could leap and make the world a better place.

And that is not to say that I'm not already/that I couldn't make the world a better place back in Charleston. It is just that this awesome-slightly-intimidating opportunity to go to Vandy is now a reality so I feel like I should take it.

I also love how the lady described that in her post. She said it was a chance to "Rise to a better story:"

Our hearts were filled with fear. But not the usual bullying kind. This was the good kind. The kind of fear that straightens out all the feathers on your wings before you make the jump. The kind of fear you feel before you rise to a better story.

Well, fear has straightened out all the feathers on my wings and I'm going to prepare to make the jump.

The jump to figure out housing and finances and roommates and my future life direction.

I have officially accepted my acceptance to Vandy.

I'm rising to a better story :)
 

A Shift Towards Sharing - First up: SheLoves Magazine

Hey Everyone,

(A Little Life Update)

Life is busy for me right now... if you haven't gathered that from my infrequent posting. Gone (for now) are my days of posting something lengthy and elaborate once a week :/ Let's get real... those days have been long gone for a few months now, ha!

Next week I head off to Vanderbilt to go the Accepted Students Weekend before I begin graduate school there in the fall. The following week, I'll be traveling to Haiti for a mission trip in an orphanage. A few weeks after that, I'll be heading to Atlanta for a conference. In April, things will be picking up with work and in 6 months I'm uprooting my life to move states away to Tennessee.

Overwhelming if I let myself dwell on it. But, I try not to because, Matthew 6:34 says:

"So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today."            

Now, don't get me wrong. I don't spend all day, every day worrying; my life is most definitely NOT just trouble.

There is SO much joy and goodness in my life right now. 

A path for my future. A fulfilling job. Great friends and family. A supportive and wonderful boyfriend. Great community at church. January and February days in the 80s, full of sunshine. Lots of on-sale Valentine's day chocolate I picked up from CVS today ;)

(A Shift Towards Sharing)

However, because I want to keep an active presence on this blog, I have decided that I will try to get back in the habit of more regular posting but instead of writing a post each week, I might just do a quick share of something that I love or find interesting.

It may just be a quick picture or quote.
Maybe a devotional I've read. 
Possibly a book suggestion.
Even, perhaps, a current favorite song or YouTube video...?

But, most likely, it will be an article or blog I like.

(First Up: SheLoves Magazine)

My boss recently introduced me to this blog because there was a post about Haiti where I'll soon be leading that mission trip.

However, I began looking around and I ABSOLUTELY LOVED WHAT I SAW. 

Not only was there a phenomenal post about human trafficking, there were great posts daily from women living and loving around the world, empowering others to do the same. 

This is how they describe themselves: 

You wanted to know what SheLoves is? Yes, we call ourselves a magazine, but now that we’re almost two years old, we’ve discovered we are more than that: We’re a global community of women–a Sisterhood–who want to know and experience freedom, justice and transformation, for ourselves and others.

Our mission is: To mobilize and empower women, so we may transform our world together.

Sounds big? We simply do it by sharing our stories with each other six days a week, learning, growing, encouraging each other and coming alongside the dreams God puts in individual women’s hearts.

How fabulous is that????

They continue with things like: 

"We believe in Sisterhood. Women who Love, in spite of our shortcomings and mistakes and even differing perspectives. Love, in spite of, SO that we can come together and be part of creating change on the earth. We are gathering and strengthening for a purpose: so our voices may rise together on the injustices that demand our awakening, our attention and our strength."

And:

"We want to be educated and informed and we want to think through what we believe, so we may each find our voice in the story God draws us into. We want to do it beautifully, with great Love."

 And:

"We believe in prayer. Period. Fragmented prayers, directed prayers, passionate prayers, intercessory prayers, humble prayers, honest prayers. Scared prayers. Silent prayers. Sighing prayers. Sacred prayers."

This is their BEAUTIFUL manifesto:
__________________________________

Let us be women who Love.
Let us be women willing to lay down our sword words, our sharp looks, our ignorant silence and towering stance and fill the earth now with extravagant Love.
Let us be women who Love.
Let us be women who make room.
Let us be women who open our arms and invite others into an honest, spacious, glorious embrace.

Let us be women who carry each other.
Let us be women who give from what we have.
Let us be women who leap to do the difficult things, the unexpected things and the necessary things.
Let us be women who live for Peace.
Let us be women who breathe Hope.
Let us be women who create beauty.
Let us be women who Love.

Let us be a sanctuary where God may dwell.
Let us be a garden for tender souls.
Let us be a table where others may feast on the goodness of God.
Let us be a womb for Life to grow.
Let us be women who Love.

Let us rise to the questions of our time.
Let us speak to the injustices in our world.
Let us move the mountains of fear and intimidation.
Let us shout down the walls that separate and divide.
Let us fill the earth with the fragrance of Love.
Let us be women who Love.

Let us listen for those who have been silenced.
Let us honour those who have been devalued.
Let us say, Enough! with abuse, abandonment, diminishing and hiding.
Let us not rest until every person is free and equal.
Let us be women who Love.

Let us be women who are savvy, smart and wise.
Let us be women who shine with the light of God in us.
Let us be women who take courage and sing the song in our hearts.
Let us be women who say, Yes to the beautiful, unique purpose seeded in our souls.
Let us be women who call out the song in another’s heart.
Let us be women who teach our children to do the same.
Let us be women who Love.

Let us be women who Love, in spite of fear.
Let us be women who Love, in spite of our stories.
Let us be women who Love loudly, beautifully, Divinely.
Let us be women who Love.

 If you aren't sold yet on subscribing to their "Stories of Sisterhood," I encourage you to scope out what has quickly become my new favorite website.

"Warby Parker" Wonderfulness

As promised, after sharing about my Sarah Grace Glasses Moment(s), here is a post about my new replacement glasses...

A few quick highlights:

• The glasses (lenses and frames) sell for UNDER 100!?! 
• For every pair sold, the company donates a pair to someone in need; they are like the Tom's shoes of glasses :) 
• They actually sell a monocle!!??!!! :) 

I could go on for days about how cool this company is and you should definitely check out their website but here are some awesome aspects of the company:

They do community development:

According to their website, almost ONE BILLION people don't have access to glasses which means "15% of the world's population is unable to effectively learn or work because they can't see clearly."

And the site says that glasses are one of the best tools to alleviate poverty since they can make someone 20% more productive!?!
A. Pair. Of. Glasses.
Gosh, how much we can take for granted.

BUT, Warby Parker doesn't just give glasses away, they have a sustainable model of empowerment for the people they are trying to help: they "train low-income women to sell affordable glasses in their communities. The model creates jobs for people in need, as well as the economic incentive to continuously provide glasses as their customers lose or break their glasses and change prescriptions." 

 

They are low-cost but high-quality: 

While most glasses today cost 100s of dollars, they sell extremely high quality products at under $100 by cutting out the middleman. Here is how they do it (taken from their site): 

 

One added bonus of this approach is they deal directly with you... aka you don't have to go to a store. 

This was one of the COOLEST purchases I have ever made. 

I pursued their website and selected my top 5 favorites.

Then they mailed them to my house free of charge with those 5 pairs (no prescription lens) for me to try on. 

I wore them around for a few days and got friends and family to offer their opinion. 

Once I had decided which pair I liked, I sent them my prescription and returned the 5 trail pairs. 

Then they mailed me my final pair with my prescription lenses. 

All of this done via the internet and delivered right to my door. 

Awesomness. 

Talk about customer service!?!

 

AND, to top it all off, they are artsy: 

 

 The names of the company and the glasses are inspired by literary figures: 

"We’ve always been inspired by the master wordsmith and pop culture icon, Mr. Jack Kerouac. Two of his earliest characters, recently uncovered in his personal journals, bore the names Zagg Parker and Warby Pepper. We took the best from each and made it our name. We hope your new glasses will provide all the style you need to travel your road with class, and their price will leave you with some extra cash to use on your journey."

And the unisex, chunky glasses are just fun and bold statement pieces. Check them out here. If you are one of the lucky ones who happens to have perfect vision, have no fear, you can support this company still because they sell sunglasses too ;)

Warby Parker is seriously one of the best companies I have ever heard of. 

And I speak from experience as I am currently sporting my Amber Nedwins right now ;)  

Sarah Grace Glasses Moment(s)

I had two pairs of glasses. And how many did I break? Oh, you guessed it: two.

And how many times? Five. Yes. Five times.

Below is the real-life, ridiculous story of yet another Sarah Grace moment.

Unexpected Ending: Break # 1

My glasses were by no means brand new (I got both pairs with a buy one get one free groupon or something like that in 2008) but they weren't exactly old either. I certainly didn't think that their days were numbered. 

That is why over Christmas break I was shocked one morning when I got up and they broke. Just as casually as anything, I was in the bathroom and when I tilted my head down to find my toothpaste in the drawer, they fell right off my face and on the way down, one of the arms came clear off the glasses. 

And, of course, it wasn't a simple screw that came out and could be easily repaired. No, it was the actual entire arm coming apart from the glasses frame. 

I was shocked and bummed BUT I had my alternate pair and so I figured I could make do with those. 

Well, I was wrong: 

Another One Bites the Dust: Break # 2

 Less than a week later - seriously - my other pair broke. I was in the attic putting away Christmas decorations when they slid off my face and kicked up a pile of dust. When the dust cleared and I found them lying there, they too had lost an arm. 

I couldn't believe it. 

When I contacted the store where I purchased them, they told me that the warranty was only good for a year so I couldn't have them repaired or replaced. 

Ugh.

As for buying a new pair, not so simple because... even though I am no longer a student, I am covered by my parents' insurance for everything but... drum-roll please... optical. Naturally.

Since there was now no way around it, I began the search for a new, affordable pair of glasses and, in the mean time, decided to go Martha Stewarty and make do with my current glasses by hot-gluing them together. I thought the clear, durable glue might be a little stronger than tape and less noticeable or fashionably-offensive.

Harmful Hug: Break # 3

Hot glue may have been stronger than tape but it wasn't stronger than a cadet. For my job, I work with the Citadel and for those of you who don't know, it is a military college. As a result, the students there are strong and when they greet me, they give me can-hardly-breathe-bear-hugs as a hello.

On my very first day back at work, after the long break, one of my cadets was a little too over-zealous in his hello and as he went in for a hug, I warned "Watch the glasses!"

Alas, it was too late. 

I heard a snap and I felt them fall. 

The first pair of glasses that broke had broken again; there they lay with the same severed arm.

Troubling Tape: Break # 4

I searched through my still-to-be-unpacked bags and couldn't find my alternate pair anywhere :/ So what did I do? I taped them. Yes, unfortunately, I didn't have a glue gun here in Charleston but what did I have? 

Duct tape. 

And that will always, always, ALWAYS do the job, right? 

I'm afraid not... at least not when Sarah Grace is involved ;) 

I had them taped up and though the silver hardly blended in with my purple glasses, the tape at least wasn't in the cliche-over-the-nose-geek position but instead on the side. I told myself that surely when I styled my hair towards that side of my face, the tape was hardly visible... Yes, that is what I told myself. Thank God for side-swept bangs ;) 

But, you won't believe what happened next. 

I still can't even explain it. 

The next morning, the tape and the arm that was attached by the tape were missing from my glasses. I looked all over the bathroom and all over my bedroom but it hasn't turned up, even now, over a week later. 

My only explanation - since I had left my glasses in the bathroom on the sink above the toilet - is that somehow, some way the arm possibly slipped in the toilet and was flushed away...? I don't even know if it is possible for an eye-glasses arm to be flushed down a toilet but I truly have no other feasible explanation other than I flushed the arm away.

Crushing Realization: Break # 5

At this point I was pretty desperate. I called my mom and told her that I had destroyed one pair of glasses, three different times in the time-span of about 10 days. 

While I had ordered a new pair (more on that in a later post), I couldn't function with a broken, armless pair of glasses for another week. I was hoping I could beg her to meet me halfway between my home and Charleston to give me my alternate pair of glasses which I still had not found, even after unpacking my bags. 

I concluded that, even though I thought I had packed them up with me, I must have left them in my bathroom at home. But, heavens no. Sarah Grace wouldn't do something as simple as that!

Upon inquiring about my other pair of glasses, my mom said that she actually had found a lens in the front yard. 

That's right, people. A lens. Not a pair of glasses. ONE LENS. 

When she mentioned it to my dad, he said that he actually had found an eyeglasses arm in the driveway. 

It seems that the glasses must have fallen out when I was loading up my car to leave.

And where did they fall? 

Not to the side of my car. 

Not on the porch on the way out the door. 

Nope.

They fell right behind my car. 

I ran over my other pair of glasses!?!

Crushed. Them. To. Pieces.

So basically, I was SOL. 

2 pairs of glasses broken 5 times in approximately a week and a half. 

Go big or go home, I always say... but this may take that to new heights ;) 

Fortunately, I found an awesome new pair of glasses from an amazing company which I will blog about soon! 

Until then, I'm just wearing my contacts as long as possible each day and then managing with my lop-sided, one-armed, non-crushed-by-a-car glasses ;)

2013 Resolution: Ending Rape

There have been 2 very disturbing rape stories in the news lately.

1) A gang rape in India
2) The teenage girl in Steubenville

A Gang Rape in India

 This 23 year old woman - The. Same. Age. As. Me. - was gang-raped so severely that she ultimately died.

She had just finished watching a movie and was accompanied by a male friend... something I - and many of my friends - have done countless times, thinking we would be safe.

She, however, was not.

When getting onto a bus (still with her friend) she was gang-raped and beaten (her friend was also beaten) to "teach her a lesson" since her attackers felt she should not have been out with a man at night, even though it was only 9pm.

6 men raped and beat her for hours before dumping her and her friend, naked, on the side of the road.

Horrible.

And they are not the only victims.

• When I heard this story on CNN, they reported that in New Delhi alone, a woman is raped every 18 hours. EVERY 18 HOURS!?!
• Further, "official data show that rape cases have jumped almost 875% over the past 40 years -- from 2,487 in 1971 to 24,206 in 2011." (CNN)
• During protests begun by outraged Indian citizens calling for safety for Indian women since the original rape story, 2 other gang-rape victims have been found: a 10 year old girl who was raped, killed and dumped in a canal and another 14 year old girl who was raped by 4 men. (thestar.com)

This is absolutely disgusting.

Perhaps an even more disgusting story is the case in Steubenville:

The Teenage Girl in Steubenville

If you haven't heard of this case yet, you soon will because the online hacktivist group, Anonymous, has gotten involved making it viral.

Though this is alleged now, it was highly documented with teenagers' use of today's technology via twitter, instagram, etc. in what The New York Times called "a graphic, public diary."

Basically, 2 hometown hero football players paraded around a 16 year old girl to 3 different parties even though she was too drunk to resist or respond.... or even remember much of the evening. She was so drunk that she vomited several times and could not walk. They removed her clothes, touched between her legs, tried to get her to perform oral sex, took pictures and video of her and possibly urinated on her. Other students referenced "Rape Me" by Nirvana and described her as "dead" or "asleep" and other very awful things recorded in a video from someone's phone.

I think the most upsetting thing about this story is how no one interfered on her behalf!?! 

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."

                                                                                         - Edmund Burke

Where were the good men (and women) when this evil was happening?

Oh, don't worry. They were just busy with social media tweeting, texting and instagraming this episode. WHAT???? Did social media suck away their souls, conscience and heart?

I have no idea how they could have not only stood by to watch this but also took time to document it.

Fortunately, technology can be used for good. As I mentioned, Anonymous has gotten involved and they are gathering evidence from the internet to put pressure on the town and the courts to take this case seriously, even if it does involve some of the town's favorite football players. Equally, a Steubenville blogger also has been using technology to try to seek justice in this case; you can follow her continuing coverage here.

How can teenage boys and men do this? What on earth gives them the notion that they have the right to a woman's body like that? To touch and violate and abuse?

How do we stop this??? 

I know this isn't a happy post but rape is not a happy thing. And though these few women have gotten a ton of coverage and support, there are countless more who have been violated but don't have this much coverage or support - and more still who don't have any because they never report their rape.

I struggled with how to end this post. I remembered an essay I read by Andrea Dworkin where she called for One Entire Day Without Rape. I wrote a post about it almost 2 years ago and she wrote the essay in the early '80s. However, rape continues.

Hopefully, for 2013 we in America and India and the whole world over can adopt her resolution for One Entire Day Without Rape. As a baby step at the very least, a beginning, to a world where 16 year old girls and 23 year old women and any woman will be safe.

More information on India: 1, 2, 3, 4.  And on Steubenville: 1, 2.