Here's to Sweet Peaches - Struggles and Triumph (and Butterflies too!)

I don't particularly care for peaches. (I know, how can I call myself a Southern Belle???) But I promise I like grits and biscuits and good home cooking... just not peaches.

Having said that, maybe I just haven't ever tasted a peach that had to struggle.

Peaches that struggle end up tasting sweeter.

This may sound strange but below in an email excerpt from the director of my grad school program is an explanation:

There is an orchard outside of Bowling Green, KY, that grows the world's best peaches (I realize this is a bold claim, but trust me).  Once my mom and I were there buying peaches and one of the owners told us that they had had the perfect year for peaches because the conditions had been a little bit difficult.  He went on to tell us that the best way to grow peaches was in conditions that aren't too difficult (because then the peaches die), but also aren't too perfect because, "the peaches are sweeter when they have to struggle."

Interesting, isn't it?

Even more interesting is the next bit of that same email from my director, Sarah Suiter:

I think this principle applies to humans (and gatherings of humans, like community) as well, and am hopeful that the conditions you're facing are of the "a little bit difficult" variety :). 

This concept really resonated with me.

I love quotes and referred to this one throughout the process of applying to grad school:

And now that I am in grad school, it takes even more work. (Duh.)

This weekend in particular, I have been preparing for my first test of graduate school, a 30 page paper that is due soon AND prepping to lead the class that I TA while my professor is out of the country for a conference this week. Yes. Because life always happens all at once. Doesn't it seem like things aren't ever spread out in a way that would make them easier to tackle?

Not usually.

Often, there is struggle.

Struggle in pursuing a grad school degree, in making a long distance relationship work, in establishing community in a new city, in finding a new church home, in figuring out your future... not that I speak from experience or anything ;)

But the good stuff - earning a master degree and As on tests, marrying the man you love, making solid friends, feeling a part of a church, discovering your life plan - all that stuff is WORTH the work it takes...

And I have a feeling that it probably wouldn't feel so good if it didn't take that effort... just like a peach doesn't taste as sweet without a little struggle.

This idea - that struggle makes life (and peaches) taste sweeter - keeps reminding me of this wonderful short film I saw a few years ago called The Butterfly Circus.

It tells the story of a different kind of circus traveling around during the Great Depression era. In particular, it focuses on a limbless man who was degraded as a freak in a side show of a typical circus but then is transformed by coming into community with the Butterfly Circus.

The leader of the Butterfly Circus has a beautiful mantra that goes along with the idea of struggle leading to sweetness:

"The greater the struggle, the more glorious the triumph."

If you haven't seen the film, I highly recommend you watch it.
It gives phenomenal perspective when you think something like grad school homework is actually hard. Maybe I should re-watch it right now...? ;)

But, really, the film is wonderful and I hope you find time to watch it.

Going with the film's and circus' symbolism, just think of the work and struggle a caterpillar endures to become a butterfly.

That is certainly a sweet ending.

Whatever you're dealing with in life right now, I hope - to quote my director and her email - "that the conditions you're facing are of the 'a little bit difficult' variety."


Here's to sweet peaches and struggles turning into triumph in life!

Having as Much Sense as a Goose: What I'm Learning in Grad School

I am getting settled in Nashville, completing training for my new job, meeting people... annnnnd drowning in reading.

My head is spinning but I'm loving it.

So far I've studied developmental theories of justice and freedom, criticisms of neo-liberalism, the capabilities approach, information on different types of epistemology and methodology. Etc. Etc. Etc.

You see why my head is spinning? ;)

I've literally had to use the dictionary countless times just to read the first paragraph of some of these chapters and articles. It is definitely on a different level than under-grad.

But, in the midst of all these big words and complicated concepts, I was delighted to run across this excerpt that I absolutely LOVED, so I wanted to share it:

THE GOOSE STORY 

"Next fall, when you see geese heading south for the winter, flying along in V formation, you might consider what science has discovered as to why they fly that way: As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an uplift for the bird immediately following. By flying in V formation the whole flock adds at least 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own. 

People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going more quickly and easily because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.

When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go it alone and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front. 

If we have as much sense as a goose, we will stay in formation with those who are headed the same way we are.

When the head goose gets tired, it rotates back in the wing and another goose flies point.

It is sensible to take turns doing demanding jobs with people or with geese flying south.

Geese honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.

What do we say when we honk from behind?

Finally, and this is important, when a  goose gets sick, or is wounded by gunshots and falls out of formation, two other geese fall out with that goose and follow it down to lend help and protection. They stay with the fallen goose until it is able to fly, or until it dies. Only then do they launch out on their own or with another formation to catch up with their group. 

If only we could have as much sense as a goose."  

Is that not the sweetest thing??? And all I thought geese had to offer was their nasty poop all over our backyard when the flock stops off by our lake before heading the rest of the way down south!?!

But, really, though it may be a little cheesy, that excerpt from Randy Stoecker's book was refreshing in its simplicity and it resonated with me.

Community development (and learning about it in grad school) is challenging but we can take a hint from the geese by encouraging one another, working together, sharing the workload and taking care of each other.

Sounds pretty sensible to me :)

 

 

 

 

 

Highlights from my 1st Week in Tennessee!!!

Today marks one week since I loaded up all my belongings and moved 10 hours away from home.

Gah!!!???!!!

It has been a whirlwind but a wonderful one.

I am acclimating to Tennessee: I already bought some beef jerky and a bottle of discount liquor. Now all I need is a pair of cowgirl boots...

This week was non-stop new people and places and experiences.

Here are a few highlights:

1) I moved into my apartment with all my craigs list items and craft projects; I am nearly settled and pictures will come soon :) I am really excited because the location is even better than I realized - I am across the street from campus and near fabulous places like parks, a grocery store, a Walgreens, a police station, a coffee shop, a car service place, a verizon store and an ice cream shop... pretty much anything I could possibly need ;)

2) I started my new job. I have a great boss and 2 really nice co-workers + the work seems like it will be hard but interesting. My main focus is marketing and communication but also a bit of admin and leading trainings for a campus event program.

3) I explored campus. And, oh the irony! I found out that my first GRADUATE SCHOOL classes will be held in none-other than the HOME-ECONOMICS building!?! How appropriate for a Southern Belle Feminist ;)

4) I met most of my classmates. Our first event together was a service project which was so sweet. We went to a local boys and girls club and did finger painting, face painting, dance, sports, etc. I got back in touch with my elementary school self and played a pretty fierce game or two of four-square ;)

5) In the midst of all my errands and unpacking, I did get to do a smidge of touring with my boyfriend before he left.

Our favorite spot was visiting the Parthenon replica:

6) And, of course, I have already had several Sarah Grace moments. Here is one that my boyfriend managed to capture on camera ;)

So what I was trying to do was hug the column (like the first photo below) to give a gauge of how huge this building was...

But, here is what happened on my first try when I accidentally went in a little too close for the hug and banged my head on the cement. Fortunately, it didn't leave a bruise! 

Tomorrow and Tuesday are my orientation and then classes begin after that...

I'll keep y'all posted.

xoxo

Controlling the Lake: Toxic Charity & what I plan to study

I recently finished one of the best books I have ever read: ToxicCharity – How churches and charities hurt those they help (and how to reverseit) by Robert D. Lupton. 

Among its many great points, the book offers the best description of Community Development that I have yet come across. I hadn’t really heard of community development until I stumbled across the graduateprogram I’ll be starting this fall. Further, most of my friends/family/anyone really, stare a bit blankly when I tell them I plan to study “community development,” so I thought I would provide Lupton’s description of it here: 

Controlling the Lake

Feed a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he’ll eat for a lifetime. It’s conventional wisdom. 

But what happens when the fish disappear from the lake due to pollution or overfishing? 

Then it’s time for a change of strategy. Someone has to figure out how to get control of the lake: stop the pollutants, issue fishing licenses, put wildlife-management policies in place. Teaching a man to fish is an individual matter; but gaining control of the lake is a community issue. 

That’s why we call it “community development” and not human services. While those of us in community development value personal, hands-on, high-touch ministry, we also see that there are larger issues that have an impact on a person’s potential for growth. What good is job training if the available jobs won’t  enable a man to support his family? Or what benefit is homeownership if the home is in a deteriorating, crime-infested neighborhood? If we are to teach people to both fish and thrive, we must figure out how to make use of the lake’s potential…. (p108-109). 

Later, on page 114, he adds another example: “A microloan may help a family buy a cart to haul their produce but it will not pave a road made impassible during the rainy season – that takes community development.” 

And that is what I want to do: community development….maximizing the potential of figurative lakes :)  I don’t know exactly how but I want to work to allow entire communities to use their assets and abilities to make the most of themselves for their benefit and the world’s. 

Lofty, yes. 

But I am a dreamer and I’m hoping this degree will help me figure out how to make more of these dreams a reality.

Advice from a Yogi, Anne Frank and a First Lady

If you ever want to start your day off well, go for an early morning walk with a yogi (aka someone really into yoga).

That's what I did to start off this fabulous Friday.

My yogi friend was drinking green tea and was full of positive energy... which I needed as I have been berating myself all week as I attempt to complete my grad school application which I was steadily convincing myself would never get me accepted.

She stopped me in the midst of putting myself down over failing to write a "good enough" purpose statement for my grad school application. She told me something that she had just learned in her yoga teacher training and it was incredibly profound:

"If you wouldn't say it to someone else, you shouldn't say it to yourself."

Dang.

So true.

But, how often do we - especially women - put ourselves down? Whether over body image or boys or grad school application inadequacies. 

I always work so hard at encouraging other people BUT often fail to do the same for myself. I am my own worst critic.

Well, I plan to quit it.

I invite y'all to do the same.

What if instead of telling ourselves we aren't good enough for [insert your own personal insecurity in here], we told ourselves something positive that we appreciate about ourselves?

It doesn't have to be as cheesy or high energy as this, though it is adorable and one of my YouTube favs ;)

This little girl's daily affirmations may be a bit extreme BUT what a great example of being grateful and pleased with who we are and where we are in life.

What if we started each day off the same way?

Not endlessly picking apart our "flaws" but appreciating our hair or home or whatever and telling ourselves that we "can do anything good"?

I believe that the power of positive thinking would have impressive effects.

One of which is happiness :)

My friend's positivity made me happier by the end of our walk AND, conveniently, her tea bag's tag summarized it well with this quote on the back:

"Inspiring others towards happiness brings you happiness."

Even in the midst of grad school application stress, I can find something to be happy about.

One reason I know this is because Anne Frank in the midst of putting her life on hold and hiding to avoid being persecuted or killed during the holocaust said this:

"Whoever is happy will make others happy too."

Isn't that impressive? In the midst of her rough circumstances, she chose to be happy.

Happiness is a choice.

The first ever First Lady of America, Martha Dandridge Custis Washington, said this:

 "The greater part of happiness or misery depends on our disposition, not our circumstances."

We can choose a disposition where we put ourselves down and feel miserable OR we can choose to be nice to ourselves and be happy, making others happy too.

I hope you will join my yogi friend, myself, Anne Frank and Martha Washington in choosing to be happy and thinking more highly of ourselves.

Remember, "if you wouldn't say it to anyone else, you shouldn't say it to yourself."