You're More Beautiful Than You Think

You're More Beautiful Than You Think.

I'd be willing to bet on it.

As women especially, we are ridiculously hard on ourselves.

It has never been more apparent than in this recent experiment by Dove:

These women so misrepresented themselves. The sketch of what others saw was so much more grace-giving than the ones where they described how they perceived themselves to be.

We see - and focus on - flaws rather than our stronger features.

I do it too. 

I recently had a horrible breakout AND an even worse haircut that looked like a mix between Cindy Lou Who from the Grinch and a 1960s bouffant hairstyle. There was an increase in self-hate talk and a decrease in confidence. 

Thank God those are two very temporary situations. 

Skin clears and hair grows back. 

But, sadly, body image issues remain.

I recently saw this article that summarizes 9 things we should know about body-image issues: 

1. Was the video from above; here is a still-shot the article showed: 
   

2. 5'3" and 166.2 pounds: average height and weight for American women. 5'10" and 120 pounds: average for fashion models
3. Age 6: when girls start to express concerns about their own weight or shape. 40-60% of elementary girls: amount who are concerned about their weight or about becoming too fat. (AGE 6!?! No wonder this is a pervasive problem for women... we are conditioned to be concerned about our image by the time we begin elementary school.)
4. 12-13 years old: the median ages for onset of an eating disorder in adolescents. 20 million: U.S. women who suffer from a clinically significant eating disorder at some time in their life.
5.  4%: amount of women globally who consider themselves beautiful.
6. 2/3 of women globally: the amount who strongly agree that "the media and advertising set an unrealistic standard of beauty that most women can't ever achieve"
7. Researchers have found that "fat talk"—a phenomena in which a person makes negative claims about their weight to others—is an expected norm among women and a way for them to appear more modest.
8. A study published in the Journal of Eating Disorders found that while "fat talk" tended to decrease with age, "old talk" often came in to replace it, and that both were reported by women who appeared to have a negative body image
9. The only complete way to overcome the problem is to have our beliefs about body image transformed by the Holy Spirit. As Heather Davis says in the Journal of Biblical Counseling:

In pursuing worldly beauty, we strive to become this elusive image in place of who we really are. You and I are created in the image of the living God. Our purpose is to reflect His image to the world. But since the fall, we let the world inscribe its image on us. It is the very picture of sin and ultimately death. Instead of being transformed to God's image, we conform to the world's image...

God makes you beautiful with the beauty of His Son, Jesus. It is in gazing at God's image in Jesus Christ that you are transformed. Romans 12:1-2 says, "Therefore, I urge you, (sisters) in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not be conformed any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."

And, said in a different way, this is one of my all-time favorite slam poems, "You are Beautiful" by Mike Young. It is SO worth a listen! 

Some of my favorite lines of his are... 

• Saying that you're nothing does not honor me
• Humility isn't thinking less of you, it's thinking of you less
• This reality: you look just like your Daddy
• [who thinks you're beautiful?] "I do" proclaims the voice that spoke the skies 
• You are beautiful because of what I say... - God

Genesis 1:27 says: 

So God created human beings in his own image.
    In the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them.

We look just like our daddy. 

As Mike Young says, the voice that spoke the skies spoke our name and when He did, He had glory on his lips. 

We are beautifully and wonderfully made in the image of the creator of the entire world. 

He does not make mistakes and He made us exactly as we are... it is a slap in His face when we insult our image or anyone else since we all represent Him. 

I hope you can live out the Romans verses above. Break you mind from distorting your image from anything but beautiful.

As the Dove campaign put it, "You're More Beautiful Than You Think."

First Guest Post: The Rantings of One Emma the Kane

1) I had a delightfully long phone date with my friend Emma last week and one of the many topics we covered was the Facebook activity around the gay marriage debate. 

2) In case you missed it, there was a ton of support online with the red and pink equal signs. There were even articles written about this facebook support, as seen here. 

3) I thought my friend brought up a pretty good point that it would be awesome if our generation would get just as public about other issues and move to action beyond simply changing their profile picture on facebook. 

4) I told her she should write a blog and she sent me her thoughts in an email below; I have highlighted points in bold that I really liked. I hope y'all enjoy the change of pace with a different writer :) 

ok so i thought id go ahead and send you this while it is still brewing and stewing in my brain!  i can tell you that an introvert's brain, well at least this one's, never really shuts off.  so here we go:

forgive my lack of eloquence...i am sick and tired of hearing all this marriage equality crap every single time i open my computer or look on facebook or turn on the tv.  every single status that i see updated on facebook is about marriage equality and everyone's new profile picture is the equality symbol they have used.  i am just sick and tired of it, pass it, don't pass it, i could care less.  really as a secular government under the constitution they should pass it, so go ahead!  just don't force churches to be perform the ceremonies if they find it against their beliefs.  if you want an honest separation of church and state then truly separate the church and the state and stop forcing churches to do things.  

more importantly, why aren't people standing outside the supreme court or the white house or where this "sit in" is being performed to demand harsher convictions for child molesters and sex offenders?  or how about the millions of girls and children being kidnapped and forced into sex slavery, or not even that, those girls that are expecting to be a sex slave because their mothers and sisters and neighbors had to follow that path if they didn't get married first.  and even in those marriages, can they expect peace and protection or the same fear of rape and abuse but by the same man instead of many men in one night?  how about we worry about those millions of child soldiers that are drugged and brainwashed to do all of the horrible things to other people that their kidnappers are doing to them, watching their parents die and then killing other children?  how about those children that are afraid to be home, afraid of their own parents, brothers, uncles, grandfathers, neighbors, teachers, babysitters because of the things they do to them behind closed doors and through the guise of "trust" and "friendship."  how about the children in north korea who are so starved that they will pick the rice out of the mud that the soldiers drop, piece by piece, just to get a bite to eat?  how about the millions of people in our own backyard that can't get a freaking job so they can no longer support their families?  how about those people also in our own backyard that are being trafficked right in front of our noses as slaves? 

how about those people that see all of these things happen but they are so self consumed that they don't do anything to stop it or help in any small way they can?  I could go on and forgive this rant, but seriously, marriage equality is a first world problem and quite frankly we have bigger fish to fry.  like i said: pass it, don't pass it, i could care less at this point.  but if you're gonna make a big stink about something like that, what about these other issues where people really need the law to support them instead of failing them over and over again?  i think we all need to rethink some priorities here.

[NOTE FROM SARAH: I don't want to offend my gay friends or take any huge stance for or against gay marriage BUT I do wish people would get as vocal or more vocal about issues where people's lives are at stake or babies or starving or women are being raped. These issues are urgent and largely ignored by the general public. Show some public support for those things. So ride this wave of activism... keep it up!!!]

Golf Balls & Mayo: a great life lesson

I don't particularly like golf or mayo...but I loved this story.

Such a powerful and simple visual with a great lesson. 

I saw it on facebook recently and wanted to share:

The Mayonnaise Jar

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and two cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and fills it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “YES”.

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - God, family,
children, health, friends, and favorite passions. Things, that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else -- the small stuff.” he said.

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “There is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are
important to you...” he told them.

“So... pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Worship with your family. Play with your children. Take your partner out to dinner. Spend time with good friends. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the dripping tap. Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled and said, “I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

Please share this with other "Golf Balls"

All too often sand can distract me and fill my days :(

I hope this simple story can help us all focus more on prioritizing and appreciating our golf balls! 

Giving a S-#-@-T about Haiti: my recent trip

Tony Campolo was the keynote speaker 30 years ago at a seminary graduation.

He walked on stage and the first words in his speech to all of these Christians were:

"25,000 kids died last night - and you don't give a shit." 

The audience heard this and the whispers began: "Did he really say that?," "Oh my gosh, he just said 'shit.'!?!" etc. The whispering and tension grew and grew. Eventually it reached the president and faculty on stage who were clearly distraught, likely questioning one another about if they should intervene and apologize or let him continue and potentially say something even more shocking which is something Campolo is now known to do.

Before anyone could say anything, Campolo continued:

"The reason I know this is true is that I just told you that 25,000 KIDS DIE EVERY NIGHT and you are more concerned with the fact that I just said a 4 letter word on stage."

Sad, but true.

I heard this story from a man who was in that audience that day. 3 years ago, that story returned to his mind when he felt called by God to start an orphanage - Alex's House - in Haiti. 

And Haiti is the reason I've been in a bit of a hiatus from blogging because I was preparing to lead the trip, actually in Haiti and then resting and recovering after I got back.

I can't even begin to figure out how to get my thoughts and heart down in any brief, understandable way.

• There was so much poverty
• And so much trash which is simply not an adequate term: To take the trash out meant either burning it in a ditch or throwing it in the "river" which was more of a sloshy dump

• There was ridiculous traffic with the stance that traffic laws were mere suggestions... we only saw one stoplight and 2 stop signs the whole week and they were largely disregarded 

• Tent cities were still all around
• There was dirt and dust and mess

And then there were the people:

• The woman who was beaten and robbed right in front of the compound we were staying in; her screams were so frantic that at first we feared she was being raped
• Then there was the man who sat guard at our gate after it that night holding a foot and a half long machete 
• There was the little boy who we spotted sawing rusted rebar in the back of a moving, overflowing dump truck rushing down bumpy roads. He could not have been older than 10. 
• And then there were the 3 teen boys who saw him as the truck turned into a busy intersection. They rushed out through the cars and threw themselves on the side ladder to climb up and join him. The dumptruck did not even slow down. A Haitian woman with us said that was how it was in Haiti: if you wanted work, you were gonna have to get it.

• The little neighborhood boy who hung out with us at the orphanage we were fixing up who was clearly malnourished with his bloated belly and twig arms and legs. Despite his lack of, when we gave him bits of our lunch each day, he taught us a beautiful lesson and SHARED, immediately leaving to give some to his brother before he even tasted the food.

• The countless street children we played with in the afternoons who were dirty, half naked and often barefoot, sick with a snotty nose and SO FULL OF JOY. They laughed and sang and played and hugged, so very grateful even with how little they had. Below is probably the most joyful boy in Haiti... and my favorite ;) Meet Paul!

And there were so many more children like him.

1 in every 5 children in Haiti will DIE before their 5th birthday. (1)

Many of us are familiar with the troubles of Haiti - particularly after the 2010 earthquake - but we don't DO much about them.

I'm by no means tooting my own horn for going; in fact, I feel like I could/should have done so much more...

I don't even know how to begin to do something to fix all the problems I saw.

But I do know, to quote another Alex's House visitor, that "I have seen things I can't unsee." And now, excuse my language, I give a shit.

I hope you do too.

More facts about Haiti can be found here and here and here.

I hope to blog more in the future about ways we can do something.

Rising to a Better Story: Visiting Vandy

This weekend was my first official visit to Vanderbilt as an accepted student.

I was a little nervous but mostly excited... excited to meet the professors, meet my classmates, get questions answered, explore where I'll be living, etc.

Last night was SO much fun! It was a trivia night put on by the graduate student association.

I was the only prospective student who showed up from my program because the social was an optional event. This meant I got the undivided attention of my team, 5 current students who were a wealth of stories and advice and housing suggestions.

There was pizza and candy, laughter and high fives. Loud music. Bonding.

We even won a prize.... for coming in last place. Real life.

It was a really promising start to graduate school ;)

But seriously: I couldn't have asked for a better beginning to my time here.

--------------

Then today was the big day: 9am - 5pm... full of meetings and people and information.

Honestly, it was all a little overwhelming. Even for me, an extreme social butterfly.

The reality of this next season of life hit me like a brick wall.

Finding housing.
Finding a roommate.
Figuring out financial aid.
Realizing I'm probably about to have to take out several loans and go into debt.
Realizing I'm about to have homework and reading and papers and classes again.
Realizing I know ONE PERSON in all of Nashville.
Realizing I'll be away from all the people I know and love back home in SC.

BUT also realizing:
- There is so much opportunity ahead of me
- I'm going to learn and grow so much
- I will get to meet and make new friends here
- I get to make this place my new home

----------------

Then, I read this post today from the SheLoves website I told you about in my last post.

When you get past the lady's pretty pictures, you get to what she is really talking about. She came to a decision point in her life where she lost her job and had to choose to go for her dream and take a leap of faith that it would work out.

Vandy and this degree and where it will take me are my leap of faith. 
So is leaving my home and comfort and community.

I loved what the lady said in her post:

Fear had a hold of me.

But for once this wasn’t the “What if I never create something awe-inspiring, profound or useful?” kind of Fear.

This was the “What if I leap and actually make the world a better place?” kind of Fear.

To be honest, right now after this long day with an information-and-new-face-overload, I feel more fear than excitement or peace.

But, I think I feel that fear because I am realizing I might could leap and make the world a better place.

And that is not to say that I'm not already/that I couldn't make the world a better place back in Charleston. It is just that this awesome-slightly-intimidating opportunity to go to Vandy is now a reality so I feel like I should take it.

I also love how the lady described that in her post. She said it was a chance to "Rise to a better story:"

Our hearts were filled with fear. But not the usual bullying kind. This was the good kind. The kind of fear that straightens out all the feathers on your wings before you make the jump. The kind of fear you feel before you rise to a better story.

Well, fear has straightened out all the feathers on my wings and I'm going to prepare to make the jump.

The jump to figure out housing and finances and roommates and my future life direction.

I have officially accepted my acceptance to Vandy.

I'm rising to a better story :)
 

A Shift Towards Sharing - First up: SheLoves Magazine

Hey Everyone,

(A Little Life Update)

Life is busy for me right now... if you haven't gathered that from my infrequent posting. Gone (for now) are my days of posting something lengthy and elaborate once a week :/ Let's get real... those days have been long gone for a few months now, ha!

Next week I head off to Vanderbilt to go the Accepted Students Weekend before I begin graduate school there in the fall. The following week, I'll be traveling to Haiti for a mission trip in an orphanage. A few weeks after that, I'll be heading to Atlanta for a conference. In April, things will be picking up with work and in 6 months I'm uprooting my life to move states away to Tennessee.

Overwhelming if I let myself dwell on it. But, I try not to because, Matthew 6:34 says:

"So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today."            

Now, don't get me wrong. I don't spend all day, every day worrying; my life is most definitely NOT just trouble.

There is SO much joy and goodness in my life right now. 

A path for my future. A fulfilling job. Great friends and family. A supportive and wonderful boyfriend. Great community at church. January and February days in the 80s, full of sunshine. Lots of on-sale Valentine's day chocolate I picked up from CVS today ;)

(A Shift Towards Sharing)

However, because I want to keep an active presence on this blog, I have decided that I will try to get back in the habit of more regular posting but instead of writing a post each week, I might just do a quick share of something that I love or find interesting.

It may just be a quick picture or quote.
Maybe a devotional I've read. 
Possibly a book suggestion.
Even, perhaps, a current favorite song or YouTube video...?

But, most likely, it will be an article or blog I like.

(First Up: SheLoves Magazine)

My boss recently introduced me to this blog because there was a post about Haiti where I'll soon be leading that mission trip.

However, I began looking around and I ABSOLUTELY LOVED WHAT I SAW. 

Not only was there a phenomenal post about human trafficking, there were great posts daily from women living and loving around the world, empowering others to do the same. 

This is how they describe themselves: 

You wanted to know what SheLoves is? Yes, we call ourselves a magazine, but now that we’re almost two years old, we’ve discovered we are more than that: We’re a global community of women–a Sisterhood–who want to know and experience freedom, justice and transformation, for ourselves and others.

Our mission is: To mobilize and empower women, so we may transform our world together.

Sounds big? We simply do it by sharing our stories with each other six days a week, learning, growing, encouraging each other and coming alongside the dreams God puts in individual women’s hearts.

How fabulous is that????

They continue with things like: 

"We believe in Sisterhood. Women who Love, in spite of our shortcomings and mistakes and even differing perspectives. Love, in spite of, SO that we can come together and be part of creating change on the earth. We are gathering and strengthening for a purpose: so our voices may rise together on the injustices that demand our awakening, our attention and our strength."

And:

"We want to be educated and informed and we want to think through what we believe, so we may each find our voice in the story God draws us into. We want to do it beautifully, with great Love."

 And:

"We believe in prayer. Period. Fragmented prayers, directed prayers, passionate prayers, intercessory prayers, humble prayers, honest prayers. Scared prayers. Silent prayers. Sighing prayers. Sacred prayers."

This is their BEAUTIFUL manifesto:
__________________________________

Let us be women who Love.
Let us be women willing to lay down our sword words, our sharp looks, our ignorant silence and towering stance and fill the earth now with extravagant Love.
Let us be women who Love.
Let us be women who make room.
Let us be women who open our arms and invite others into an honest, spacious, glorious embrace.

Let us be women who carry each other.
Let us be women who give from what we have.
Let us be women who leap to do the difficult things, the unexpected things and the necessary things.
Let us be women who live for Peace.
Let us be women who breathe Hope.
Let us be women who create beauty.
Let us be women who Love.

Let us be a sanctuary where God may dwell.
Let us be a garden for tender souls.
Let us be a table where others may feast on the goodness of God.
Let us be a womb for Life to grow.
Let us be women who Love.

Let us rise to the questions of our time.
Let us speak to the injustices in our world.
Let us move the mountains of fear and intimidation.
Let us shout down the walls that separate and divide.
Let us fill the earth with the fragrance of Love.
Let us be women who Love.

Let us listen for those who have been silenced.
Let us honour those who have been devalued.
Let us say, Enough! with abuse, abandonment, diminishing and hiding.
Let us not rest until every person is free and equal.
Let us be women who Love.

Let us be women who are savvy, smart and wise.
Let us be women who shine with the light of God in us.
Let us be women who take courage and sing the song in our hearts.
Let us be women who say, Yes to the beautiful, unique purpose seeded in our souls.
Let us be women who call out the song in another’s heart.
Let us be women who teach our children to do the same.
Let us be women who Love.

Let us be women who Love, in spite of fear.
Let us be women who Love, in spite of our stories.
Let us be women who Love loudly, beautifully, Divinely.
Let us be women who Love.

 If you aren't sold yet on subscribing to their "Stories of Sisterhood," I encourage you to scope out what has quickly become my new favorite website.

"Warby Parker" Wonderfulness

As promised, after sharing about my Sarah Grace Glasses Moment(s), here is a post about my new replacement glasses...

A few quick highlights:

• The glasses (lenses and frames) sell for UNDER 100!?! 
• For every pair sold, the company donates a pair to someone in need; they are like the Tom's shoes of glasses :) 
• They actually sell a monocle!!??!!! :) 

I could go on for days about how cool this company is and you should definitely check out their website but here are some awesome aspects of the company:

They do community development:

According to their website, almost ONE BILLION people don't have access to glasses which means "15% of the world's population is unable to effectively learn or work because they can't see clearly."

And the site says that glasses are one of the best tools to alleviate poverty since they can make someone 20% more productive!?!
A. Pair. Of. Glasses.
Gosh, how much we can take for granted.

BUT, Warby Parker doesn't just give glasses away, they have a sustainable model of empowerment for the people they are trying to help: they "train low-income women to sell affordable glasses in their communities. The model creates jobs for people in need, as well as the economic incentive to continuously provide glasses as their customers lose or break their glasses and change prescriptions." 

 

They are low-cost but high-quality: 

While most glasses today cost 100s of dollars, they sell extremely high quality products at under $100 by cutting out the middleman. Here is how they do it (taken from their site): 

 

One added bonus of this approach is they deal directly with you... aka you don't have to go to a store. 

This was one of the COOLEST purchases I have ever made. 

I pursued their website and selected my top 5 favorites.

Then they mailed them to my house free of charge with those 5 pairs (no prescription lens) for me to try on. 

I wore them around for a few days and got friends and family to offer their opinion. 

Once I had decided which pair I liked, I sent them my prescription and returned the 5 trail pairs. 

Then they mailed me my final pair with my prescription lenses. 

All of this done via the internet and delivered right to my door. 

Awesomness. 

Talk about customer service!?!

 

AND, to top it all off, they are artsy: 

 

 The names of the company and the glasses are inspired by literary figures: 

"We’ve always been inspired by the master wordsmith and pop culture icon, Mr. Jack Kerouac. Two of his earliest characters, recently uncovered in his personal journals, bore the names Zagg Parker and Warby Pepper. We took the best from each and made it our name. We hope your new glasses will provide all the style you need to travel your road with class, and their price will leave you with some extra cash to use on your journey."

And the unisex, chunky glasses are just fun and bold statement pieces. Check them out here. If you are one of the lucky ones who happens to have perfect vision, have no fear, you can support this company still because they sell sunglasses too ;)

Warby Parker is seriously one of the best companies I have ever heard of. 

And I speak from experience as I am currently sporting my Amber Nedwins right now ;)