Doubting Thomas Got a Bad Rap

Doubting Thomas got a bad rap: the one who didn't immediately believe; the one who questioned.

He had one weak moment: ²⁵So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord!" But he said to them, "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it." (John 20:25).

Recently, I really related to Thomas. I was doubting.

Have you ever wanted proof? Evidence? A visible sign?

I know I was really craving it. I needed to see the nail marks.

Fortunately, they appeared.

Friend after friend shared with me precisely what I needed to hear. Devotions spoke directly to my situation. My pastor's sermon seemed as though it had to have been written specifically for me and my doubt. Mentors linked me to unbelievably appropriate sites or documents that answered my questions; One guy even sent me a document defending Paul written by a female Baptist preacher who is also a professor and a feminist!?!

Yes, I was seeing the nail marks. My doubts were fading. My faith was strengthening.


That is why I could connect with the story of Thomas.

Doubting Thomas got a bad rap.

It has been cemented into society's mind through the stereotype of a "doubting Thomas" and through art, even through music.

One of my favorite songs is called "Doubting Thomas" by Nickel Creek.

The lyrics are so great and, with my recent struggles in Women and Religion, one line especially resonated with me:

Can I be used to help others find truth, (particularly leading a Bible study!)
When I'm scared I'll find proof that its a lie

This was precisely my concern: I was afraid that I would learn my way out of my religion. 

But, the opposite has happened.

Just. Like. Thomas.

²⁶A week later his [Jesus'] disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" ²⁷Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe."

 ²⁸Thomas said to him, "My Lord and my God!" (John 20:26-28)

 According to Dr. Ralph Wilson, "Thomas, 'Doubting Thomas,' as he is sometimes called, is the first disciple to put into words the truth that Jesus is both Lord and God. 

"'Doubting Thomas' utters the greatest confession of faith recorded anywhere in the Bible." 

How awesome and encouraging is that?

Again, Doubting Thomas got a bad rap.

Something else I find encouraging is NOT written in the Bible. Yep. It isn't written in there.

But society has written it in there - An extra verse that doesn't actually exist.

If you look at the art and talk to people (believers and nonbelievers) they will likely tell you that Thomas touched the nail marks.

That, however, is NOT written in the Bible.

The Bible goes straight from verse 27 where Jesus tells Thomas to "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe" into verse 28 where Thomas declares his belief: "My Lord and my God!"

No verse 27.5 exists saying that Thomas touched the nail marks.

Maybe he did, maybe he didn't.

Either way, we cannot. I cannot.

As a result, I choose to believe that Thomas did not. Then, just like him, we can sense the presence of Jesus moving among us and then proclaim our faith... even if we can't reach out and touch the nail marks.

Verse 29 further clarifies that faith is possible without having the exact proof or evidence or nail marks to touch: ²⁹Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."(John 20:29)

That is how Jesus ends it: he acknowledges that Thomas has believed.

Why don't we acknowledge that?

Doubting Thomas got a bad rap. 

We should look up to him - especially in our time of doubting and questioning - as the one who strengthened his faith and became Believing Thomas.

On My Knees

It isn't for the moment you are struck that you need courage but for the long uphill climb back to sanity and faith and security.

                                                                      - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I was feeling slightly insane, wavering in my faith, and insecure.

The moment those feelings were "struck" into me came as I began my senior year with a Women and Religion class. This class is full of women (and a few men) who are very intelligent and different from me.

Usually, I find this environment refreshing.

Not this time.

This time it was personal. This time it was draining: mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

This time it was frightening. Because this time it was messing with my faith. 

I have been learning about pre-history and the religions before Christianity. I have been taught to question all truth, even whether there is any truth. I have been surrounded by those who call their gods "She." I have listened to people bash my religion and point out nothing positive, simply flaw. After flaw. After flaw.

The scary part was I understood - and agreed with - some of their points. I trust in my teacher's knowledge. I have studied and read her textbooks about goddesses.

I have questioned my faith, my God, my role as a Bible study leader.

And worst of all, I told NO ONE.

I didn't want to burden them with a problem I couldn't solve. I didn't want them to have the same struggle if I couldn't help them out of it. I feared their judgment for my wavering faith. So I kept these thoughts to myself.

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Until this weekend. And that is when I began my hopefully not too "long uphill climb."

This weekend was the Charleston Baptist Collegiate Ministry Fall Retreat. I went knowing I needed to go but not knowing how much it would affect me.

Before I give you the detail of when I hit my lowest low, here is some background information:

• My homechurch is over 200 years old filled with several traditional people, many of whom are old, all of whom are subdued in their worship style: aka if anyone says "Amen" in the middle of the sermon, we all turn his or her way and glare as if to suggest they should lay off the coffee next Sunday. It is just too much. We're quiet and keep things simple, assuming that showy worship of waving your hands around and shouting is insincere. 

• Well, upon getting to know other believers in college and how they worshiped, I realized one can be showy and sincere in praising God. In fact, it was an encouragement for me to see them raise their hands. When I finally worked up the guts and sincere desire to attempt this on my own, I was nearly sweating and my heart was beating fast but once I got past my nerves, I realized it heightened my own worship. So now, as I feel moved, I will raise my hands.
• Also, I have been trying to figure out how to make prayer a conversation: not just me rambling but also listening for God. My favorite description for his response is a still, small voice putting a crystal clear thought into your mind that was not yours, but simply was placed on your heart out of nowhere. I agree with that.

So, back to the BCM retreat.

We had wonderfully powerful music, enhanced especially by all of the Citadel cadets with their deep voices and clapping as we sang along. One song we sang was Indescribable with a lyric that says "Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim/ You are amazing God."

I had a still, small voice whisper: "That would be cool. I think I'd like to do that; it might elevate my worship like when I started raising my hands."

Enter my active thoughts: "Yes, that could be cool BUT certainly not here. Too many people. I mean I don't want to be all trying too hard or distracting people. Yea, maybe... someday..."

Without a second thought, I continued singing songs until  a few things formed the final cracks in my emotional dam: hearing our leader use words like "battle" and reading through the Lord's prayer about "Lead us not into temptation/ But deliver us from evil," etc.

My emotional dam broke. Warm tears poured from my eyes.

I don't usually cry. I quickly tried to regain my composure but it was melting away like much of my mascara. 

I walked to the front of the room where our Prayer Team leader was sitting in a chair. I don't know why but she pulled me to the ground. At that moment, I was at my lowest point, physically and emotionally and spiritually.

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We sat on our knees as she hugged me and prayed for me and read me a few perfectly relevant pieces of scripture.I admitted my fears and my doubts and I let my tears flow.

Once I regained composure I stood to leave but before I could get to the end of the front row, another lady reached for me which I was totally not expecting but graciously welcomed. She hugged me and began praying for me.

However, the way that she grabbed me brought my upper body in for a hug but left my butt awkwardly in the air so, without realizing it, to fix this...

I fell to my knees. 

It wasn't until later after she finished praying for me and I had returned to my seat that I put all of this together. I never had the intention to do any of that, nor did I even want to. But at that point, not even an hour after I had heard that whispered thought, I had fallen to my knees not once but twice, humbled before the Lord in prayer and worship. 

I was like, "Ok, God. I got it. You're there. To me, you are truth and you are real and you are worthy of praise."

Better yet, we sang You Alone Can Rescue with the perfect lyrics for my situation. 

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As I begin this "uphill climb" I realize that I don't have all of the answers yet and I am certain all of my doubts are not disappearing any time soon, but I am also certain of my faith.

If I had all the answers it would be called FACT, not FAITH.

But I do feel certain that with God, the acceptance and support and prayer from fellow believers, and with patience I will one day make it back to the top of the hill, "back to sanity and faith and security."

Operation Beautiful: Join the Movement

• 2 out of 5 women would trade 5 years of their life to be thin
• The majority of women overestimate their own waist size by 30 % and their hip size by 16%
• More women are suffering from anorexia or bulimia than are fighting breast cancer
• Most American girls begin to diet when they are just 8 years old
• Why are we are own worst enemies?
• It's time to face the facts: we have a serious body image crisis on our hands.
• facts above taken from this video.

So, what are we going to do about this crisis?

One thing we can do is join Operation Beautiful.

It is a simple thing (post it notes) with poweful results (women feeling better about themselves!).

If you haven't heard the buzz about this wonderful organization, check out the organization's mission below:

The goal of the Operation Beautiful website is to end negative self-talk or “Fat Talk.” If this little blog only does one productive thing, I hope it helps readers realize how truly toxic negative self-talk is — it hurts you emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

Through my own experiences fighting Fat Talk, I’ve realized the power behind an anonymous act such as Operation Beautiful. When I post a note, I’m saying, “I CHOOSE to be positive!”

I began Operation Beautiful by leaving positive messages on the mirrors of public restrooms — at work, at the gym, at the grocery store. I scribble down whatever comes to mind — "You are beautiful!" or "You are amazing just the way you are!" My personal goal is to leave as many Operation Beautiful notes as I can. Maybe some people read them and just smile, but I bet some people are truly touched by the effort of a random stranger.

As if that wasn't fabulous enough, the site has wonderful links to "Change the Way You See."

Another cool thing is this was all started by a young woman (now only 26) named Caitlin.

Her simple idea is now a national movement, appearing on shows like Oprah, The Today Show and many more.


Please join the movement.
Stop the self-hatred and "fat talk."
Buy some post-it notes!
Check out the CofC Chapter on facebook and, get involved so you can, as they say: "Spread the beauty. Feel the love."

And, lastly, remember:
YOU. ARE. BEAUTIFUL!

Did You Know that Elvis Presley Had a Twin? Plus, other fun twin facts...

Kate Plus Eight, the Octo-mom, the Duggars; it seems every time we turn around there is some other tv show for a family of multiples. 

Our society is one of excess, apparently even in terms of reproduction. Once upon a time, twins and triplets were  a shocker but are hardly "impressive" anymore. 

As a twin myself, I have noticed how identifying myself as a twin no longer produces such shock and awe. Twins just aren't so unusual or interesting anymore according to the media, particularly the TLC channel ;) How boring would a "Double Trouble" show sound compared to the Duggars clan that is almost as large as most extended families!?! 

Admittedly, I have an obvious twin bias, but I feel like these fun facts truly are impressive so I thought you might enjoy them. Today I came across "Quick Facts and Figures about twins" with some of my favorites below: 

• Elvis Presley had a twin who did not survive after birth. His name was Jesse Garon.
• Identical twins share the same DNA, but will have their own fingerprints!
•  About 25% of identical twins are called mirror image twins. For example if one has a mole under her right eye, the other will have it under her left eye.
•  According to the National Center for Health Statistics the number of multiple births has increased about 74% since 1980. 
•  According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists:
• 1 in 250 pregnancies can result in identical twins.
• In some African countries such as Nigeria, the rate of twin pregnancies can be as high as 1 in 20.
• China has the lowest rate of Twinning in the world.
• According to the Guinness book of records there are 3 known cases in the US where parents gave birth to 2 sets of twins siblings on the same day. The mothers are Caroline Cargado, Laura Moore and Michele Gorney.
• THIS IS REALLY STRANGE: Heteropaternal Superfecundation is the term used when a woman becomes pregnant from two different man and gives birth to fraternal twins
• Quarternary Marriage is the term used when one set of twins marries a second set of twins.
• In case of identical twins marrying identical twins, genetically speaking their children will be more than cousins, they will be genetic siblings.
• Ideoglossia is the term used for the secret language of twins. This secret language actually does not exist. Once twins, as in any other baby, learn to talk, they mispronounce words but because their other half is capable of recognizing and understanding those words, it seems as if they have their own language.
• It is a myth that fraternal twins skip a generation. (Noted!) 
• Male twins will not have twins unless their wives have the ability to produce 2 eggs.
• Fraternal twins (girls) have twice the chance of giving birth to twins than singletons. (Dang... the odds are not looking good for me to ease gradually into motherhood in the future!) 

Perhaps TLC will have a show about twins in the fall afterall... 

Do You Know What Today Is?

Today is my new favorite holiday. Did you even know today was a holiday?

Today - August 26, 2010 - is Women's Equality Day. It is lesser known and minimally celebrated across the nation. I felt sure that at least my women's calendar full of quotes from influential women would boldly mark today as a holiday but, alas, even it did not mention Women's Equality Day :(

Why do we have a Women's Equality Day? According to the National Women's History Project,

The date was selected to commemorate the 1920 passage of the 19th Amendment to the Constitution, granting women the right to vote. This was the culmination of a massive, peaceful civil rights movement by women that had its formal beginnings in 1848 at the world’s first women’s rights convention, in Seneca Falls, New York.

The observance of Women’s Equality Day not only commemorates the passage of the 19th Amendment, but also calls attention to women’s continuing efforts toward full equality. Workplaces, libraries, organizations, and public facilities now participate with Women’s Equality Day programs, displays, video showings, or other activities.

If you think this holiday is unnecessary and we already know enough about women's equality, I invite you to spare approximately 2 and 1/2 minutes of your time to take this quiz.

How did you do? I am embarrassed to say I did not make a 100. There is still so much we don't know about women's issues. Even more discouraging, there is a lot that is already forgotten by most. Yesterday the New York Times ran an article entitled A Forgotten Fight for Suffrage.

In it, author Christine Stansell laments over how the women's right to vote conflict is "now largely lost to memory." This seems strange to me as she pointed out some states only approved the legislation in the latter half of the 20th century:

In 1923 Delaware ratified belatedly to join the rest of the country, but the Southern states waited decades: Maryland in 1941, Virginia in 1952, Alabama in 1953. Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, North Carolina and South Carolina came along from 1969 to 1971, years after the Voting Rights Act of 1965 had passed. Mississippi brought up the rear, not condoning the right of women to vote until 1984.

Not until 1984!?! That was 64 years AFTER the legislation passed in Congress. We're not talking about anything too radical here... just women's right to vote. Today marks the 90th year since all American women finally got the right to vote.

And since 1971, that has been commemorated with an official US holiday. Bella Abzug, a Democratic Representative from New York brought forth a resolution that was passed by Congress. The resolution read as follows:

WHEREAS, the women of the United States have been treated as second-class citizens and have not been entitled the full rights and privileges, public or private, legal or institutional, which are available to male citizens of the United States; and

WHEREAS, the women of the United States have united to assure that these rights and privileges are available to all citizens equally regardless of sex; and

WHEREAS, the women of the United States have designated August 26, the anniversary date of the passage of the Nineteenth Amendment, as symbol of the continued fight for equal rights: and

WHEREAS, the women of United States are to be commended and supported in their organizations and activities,

NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED, the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled, that August 26th of each year is designated as Women’s Equality Day, and the President is authorized and requested to issue a proclamation annually in commemoration of that day in 1920, on which the women of America were first given the right to vote, and that day in 1970, on which a nationwide demonstration for women’s rights took place.  (Information taken from NWHP)

 We must remember this. In another New York Times article from back in 1999, Naomi wolf wrote:

Standing at the turn of the millennium, how odd it seems that women, the majority of the human species, have not, over the course of so many centuries, intervened successfully once and for all on their own behalf. That is, until you consider that women have been trained to see themselves as having no relationship to history, and no claim upon it. Feminism can be defined as women's ability to think about their subjugated role in history, and then to do something about it. The 21st century will see the End of Inequality -- but only if women absorb the habit of historical self-awareness, becoming a mass of people who, rather than do it all, decide at last to change it all. The future is ours to lose.

We must be aware of our past so as not to repeat it. The future IS ours to lose.

Don't let that happen. Remember, hold tightly to, and celebrate how far women have come.

Keep pushing forward!

Happy Women's Equality Day :)

Beyond Awkward Boy Update

It was not even 9am and already pushing 90 degrees, the sun out shining in full force. I was starting to sweat, lacking any makeup and wearing an old tank-top with some over-sized gym shorts. Needless to say, I was not dressed to impress.

I was dressed for a raft race. My Daddy's company participates in this community raft race every year and they take it very seriously, having won their division and even the whole competition in the past. He was not about to have me showing up with my nails and hair done. No. We were in it to win it.

Sadly, several people at my Daddy's office procrastinate. As a result, 20 minutes til our first race, we were still down about 3 people - aka we would forfeit without enough bodies in the boat. 

I was dutifully saying a prayer for their quick arrival and casually chatting with 2 guys: one was an older man and recent heart attack victim that worked for my Daddy and the second was a younger friend of his.

I barely glanced at them as we spoke but instead was scoping out the competition in the river in front of us. Absentmindedly, I had gathered that this younger guy had a goatee, an earring and was wearing a hat... of even greater interest to me, though, was the fact that he worked stage crew for the concert I was going to see later that night. This focused most of our conversation around the concert and its main act.

I wandered off only to be greeted by him upon my return with his offer to paddle in our boat if we needed him. I told him thanks and assured him if it came down between him and the older man who worked for my Daddy, we would definitely enlist his help so as not to induce another heart attack for the older guy.

Knowing he might be needed, he hung around initiating more small talk until the last 3 guys from my Daddy's company showed up just in time for our first race. Then, he quickly disappeared.

I thought for good.

Having finished the first race, now sweaty, salty from the river water (and possibly smelly), getting hit on was the last thing I was expecting. Much to my surprise, he came up from behind and handed me a folded up piece of paper. I saw it had information about the concert typed on it (i.e. gate entry info and check-in times, etc.) so I had a glimmer of excitement that he might be giving me a backstage pass or something.

Nope : (

As I turned over the paper I saw the following note: "If you want to hang out later tonight, that would be great! If you're single that is," followed by his name and number.

That is right folks, I was hit on via note. So elementary school AND worthy of a quick listen to George Strait's "Check Yes or No" song ;) .

Upon finishing up the raft races (we made it to the 4th heat), I mentioned the bizarre incident to my Daddy. He, of course, freaked out a bit which included calling the older guy who knew the guy who wanted to hang out with me. My Daddy's conversation went something like this: "Hey, who was that guy you were talking to earlier? What's his deal? How old is he? Where's he from? What's he do?" You know, he practically got every detail - down to his credit score - on this poor guy!

Here are the results from his interrogation... I mean investigation ;)

The younger guy was actually almost 30 (nearly 10 years older than me), divorced, and he had a little boy.

Yes: a divorced dad hit on me using a note... maybe he was taking tips from his son?

Believe it or not, it gets worse.

Later that night at the concert, my friend asked me if it was him on stage. I told her I really wasn't certain because I hadn't gotten a great look at him earlier; in casually chatting with him, I didn't thoroughly check him out because I never EVER would have imagined an hour later he would give me his number!?!

Well once she pointed him out to me, realizing he had the same build, facial hair and earring he seemed to be the same guy. The only thing that looked different from earlier in the morning was that he was no longer wearing his baseball cap. This, my friends, revealed that he was balding.

So, to sum this up for y'all, I was hit on by a balding, divorced dad via a note. How is that for a confidence booster ;) At the very least, I felt certain it would make an entertaining blog post!
 

The Freedom Riders - forgotten heroes

1) If you haven't seen the movie Freedom Writers, then watch it; it is phenomenal.

2) Watching that movie led me to another one: Freedom Riders - a Stanley Nelson film. In the Freedom Writers movie, they mention freedom riders. I hadn't heard of them and was intrigued. After a little research I came across the second movie, a documentary from the Sundance Film Festival. I haven't seen it yet but it debuts on PBS in May of 2011.

3) If, like me, you couldn't wait to find out more about the forgotten freedom riders, check this out below:

Freedom Riders

Who They Were: Initially 13 men and women (7 blacks and 6 whites) but eventually hundreds. They were supported by the group CORE (Congress of Racial Equality) and also SNCC (Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee).

What They Did: They attempted to ride public buses across the south; the catch was they mixed up society's racial expectations having some whites use the colored only seats, lines, diners, etc. and black people sit in the seats designated for the whites, stand in the white lines, and eat in the white diners.

Why They Did It: They were encouraged by the success of the non-violent sit-ins in the South (most notably Woolworth's in Greensboro, NC) and also wanted to test the Supreme Court ruling in Boynton vs. Virginia which declared that segregated public transportation was unconstitutional.

Where They Traveled: They left from Washington, DC with the intent of ending in New Orleans, LA. However, after several beatings and riots, the ride stopped short in Jackson, MS.

What Happened: The Freedom Riders were yelled at, beaten with baseball bats and iron pipes, kicked and punched (with a heightened aggression towards the white freedom riders who were helping the blacks), arrested, trapped on their bus as it was set on fire, hospitalized, asked to write letters to their loved ones (in case they didn't finish the trip alive), surrounded by mobs, and much, much more.

When They Did It: May 4-17, 1961... that was not even 50 years ago!?! Blacks and whites were beating each other nearly to death to simply ride a bus side by side; fortunately, we have come a long way BUT if you watch the first movie (Freedom Writers), you will see we still have a long way to go.

The Results:  After the violence really elevated in Alabama (specifically Anniston and Montgomery) peaking at a riot outside of a church, President Kennedy stepped in and national guardsmen were sent in to break up the scene. More freedom rides happened throughout the south and shortly thereafter segregation (seating on buses, separate lines, bathrooms and diners at bus stops, etc.) for public transportation ended.

What We Can Learn: Ordinary people can do extraordinary things. These relative nobodies, just average citizens, banded together and ACTED on something they believed in; it changed their lives and our country, for the better.

This last clip isn't part of the second movie; it is a video made by Vanderbilt University when they re-traveled the 1961 route with some of the original Freedom Riders. It is long but worth the watch.

Additional source: http://www.tahg.org/module_display.php?mod_id=58&review=yes#1994