Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Off the Southern Belle Timeline

Being from South Carolina, I was just subconsciously aware of the fact that a Southern Belle’s timeline is go to college, get married, and start a family. It was so ingrained in my mind that just recently when speaking to my mom about living arrangements for this year and after graduation, I mentioned something about how it might change if I was married. She simply looked at me and said, “I don’t think you’ll be getting married right after college unless you find someone really soon.” Really soon as in like yesterday.

Though depressed for a millisecond, I then did a bit of math – not my strong point, obviously because upon reflection I realized my time was pretty limited. Coming up on the halfway point of my Junior year I realized that would mean that I would have to begin dating, fall in love, get engaged and plan a wedding within a year and a half… dubious if not downright impossible.

But this “duh” moment for me has sunk in and I feel a new sense of freedom. Now I don’t feel the pressure that every new guy I meet might be or must be “the one.” I can daydream about what I want to do, where I want to go, etc. NOT who I will be with – now don’t get me wrong, I will still ponder the potential of my new crushes but in a new more relaxed way. I have had a paradigm shift; at least for a while, I am out of marriage mode.

I don’t think I am even ready to get married within a year and a half. Most of our generation isn’t: The average age to wed in the US in 2007 was 26 for a woman and almost 28 for a man.
So be free and get off that Southern Belle timeline.

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