Two hour tea dates at Starbucks, for me at least, are conducive to wonderful and often enlightening discussions. I had once recently with two of my friends – one is married and the other is in a long-term relationship – and we were discussing the difference and often difficulty of communication between the sexes.
There is a TON of information on this topic – so many books, talk shows, news reports, movies, songs, research studies, etc. However, I think we overanalyze and complicate the matter.
Save your time and effort. I believe my friend, Laura, who has the boyfriend, has discovered the difference. She said the most simple and profound thing – women just want to be loved and men want respect.
For example, if she and her boyfriend are arguing and she says, “I respect your opinion and where you’re coming from but I disagree because of…” she can see an immediate difference in the argument. Similarly, when he says something like “I don’t really understand or agree but I still love you and I want to work through this” she feels somewhat satisfied and their anger fades.
Even outside of arguments, I believe this simple truth applies. Girls love affection and to be loved or valued in intimate relationships but also as mothers, employers, group members, etc. Men desire respect as romantic partners but also in the workforce, the church, group activities, etc.
This is NOT to say that women do not value respect and men never need love but in the grand scheme of things, I think this simple truth if carried out could make for an easier, fuller communication between the sexes.
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