Perhaps I'm a Prude: Thoughts on Modesty and Bikinis

Even though I live in Charleston - a beautiful beach destination - I, sadly, don't make it to the beach much.

This is not because of any moral stance, simply that I'm busy and never tan but simply freckle and burn.

However, in recent years, I have begun to have a moral dilemma in dealing with bathing suits.
Several friends and I have discussed if we should... quit wearing bikinis.

Gasp.
Many people think it's ludicrous
Or prudish
To contemplate another option.

Even though I am an adult and now live on my own, I am sure that my father would beat my 24-year-old butt if I tried to walk around in public in my bra and underwear. But a bikini - oh, don't worry dad - this bra and panties are waterproof so all ethical issues are now removed.

????

When it comes to bathing suits, modesty is pushed to the side because these are for the beach, not the bedroom. Duh.

I am just not so sure.

And then of course there are all the feminist notions out there that a woman should be able to wear (or not wear) whatever she wants and a man can't touch her or judge her... in a 3-piece suit or a 2-piece bikini.

True. I agree that even if I was walking around absolutely naked, no man has a right to touch me or rape me.

But, even so, I'm don't see how women are supposed to be empowered by wearing a bikini.
Revealing so much of ourselves serves who... ? Women?

It is hardly empowering to be prancing around half-naked for many of my friends.

I have countless conversations with women who hate going to the beach, putting their bodies on display fearing they will be judged by other girls for not being thin/toned/pretty enough. Further, no one has to voice a word and women already kill their confidence at the beach with self-hatred talk comparing themselves to the twigs with big boobs and barbie-like long legs.

I do wish we could all just embrace ourselves as we are but the truth is that most women do not. But, here is to hoping that we can get a bikini body this way:

Or we could all just take a stance to quit wearing the bikini.

I get not wanting to have tan lines... or burn lines as is my usual case. So go for a strapless top. But, not having a tan belly? Is this really a problem? How many people really see your stomach? Do you display it anywhere BUT the beach?

Back to the question of who it serves when women wear bikinis.

I'm thinking men more than women.

This is not a Christian issue of worrying over a man or woman's purity, though many take that angle.

This is just a freaking self-respect issue and I think we don't need to let it all hang out in front of a bunch of a strangers in public.

I like the way Jessica Rey phrased it:

"Modesty isn't about covering up our bodies because they're bad. Modesty isn't about hiding ourselves. It's about revealing our dignity." 

Rey has recently added a lot to this discussion of modesty and doing away with bikinis through this video presentation and also her line of modest retro swimwear, inspired by Audrey Hepburn.

So there you have it.

Perhaps I'm a prude but those are my thoughts on modesty and bikinis ;)

A Shift Towards Sharing - First up: SheLoves Magazine

Hey Everyone,

(A Little Life Update)

Life is busy for me right now... if you haven't gathered that from my infrequent posting. Gone (for now) are my days of posting something lengthy and elaborate once a week :/ Let's get real... those days have been long gone for a few months now, ha!

Next week I head off to Vanderbilt to go the Accepted Students Weekend before I begin graduate school there in the fall. The following week, I'll be traveling to Haiti for a mission trip in an orphanage. A few weeks after that, I'll be heading to Atlanta for a conference. In April, things will be picking up with work and in 6 months I'm uprooting my life to move states away to Tennessee.

Overwhelming if I let myself dwell on it. But, I try not to because, Matthew 6:34 says:

"So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today."            

Now, don't get me wrong. I don't spend all day, every day worrying; my life is most definitely NOT just trouble.

There is SO much joy and goodness in my life right now. 

A path for my future. A fulfilling job. Great friends and family. A supportive and wonderful boyfriend. Great community at church. January and February days in the 80s, full of sunshine. Lots of on-sale Valentine's day chocolate I picked up from CVS today ;)

(A Shift Towards Sharing)

However, because I want to keep an active presence on this blog, I have decided that I will try to get back in the habit of more regular posting but instead of writing a post each week, I might just do a quick share of something that I love or find interesting.

It may just be a quick picture or quote.
Maybe a devotional I've read. 
Possibly a book suggestion.
Even, perhaps, a current favorite song or YouTube video...?

But, most likely, it will be an article or blog I like.

(First Up: SheLoves Magazine)

My boss recently introduced me to this blog because there was a post about Haiti where I'll soon be leading that mission trip.

However, I began looking around and I ABSOLUTELY LOVED WHAT I SAW. 

Not only was there a phenomenal post about human trafficking, there were great posts daily from women living and loving around the world, empowering others to do the same. 

This is how they describe themselves: 

You wanted to know what SheLoves is? Yes, we call ourselves a magazine, but now that we’re almost two years old, we’ve discovered we are more than that: We’re a global community of women–a Sisterhood–who want to know and experience freedom, justice and transformation, for ourselves and others.

Our mission is: To mobilize and empower women, so we may transform our world together.

Sounds big? We simply do it by sharing our stories with each other six days a week, learning, growing, encouraging each other and coming alongside the dreams God puts in individual women’s hearts.

How fabulous is that????

They continue with things like: 

"We believe in Sisterhood. Women who Love, in spite of our shortcomings and mistakes and even differing perspectives. Love, in spite of, SO that we can come together and be part of creating change on the earth. We are gathering and strengthening for a purpose: so our voices may rise together on the injustices that demand our awakening, our attention and our strength."

And:

"We want to be educated and informed and we want to think through what we believe, so we may each find our voice in the story God draws us into. We want to do it beautifully, with great Love."

 And:

"We believe in prayer. Period. Fragmented prayers, directed prayers, passionate prayers, intercessory prayers, humble prayers, honest prayers. Scared prayers. Silent prayers. Sighing prayers. Sacred prayers."

This is their BEAUTIFUL manifesto:
__________________________________

Let us be women who Love.
Let us be women willing to lay down our sword words, our sharp looks, our ignorant silence and towering stance and fill the earth now with extravagant Love.
Let us be women who Love.
Let us be women who make room.
Let us be women who open our arms and invite others into an honest, spacious, glorious embrace.

Let us be women who carry each other.
Let us be women who give from what we have.
Let us be women who leap to do the difficult things, the unexpected things and the necessary things.
Let us be women who live for Peace.
Let us be women who breathe Hope.
Let us be women who create beauty.
Let us be women who Love.

Let us be a sanctuary where God may dwell.
Let us be a garden for tender souls.
Let us be a table where others may feast on the goodness of God.
Let us be a womb for Life to grow.
Let us be women who Love.

Let us rise to the questions of our time.
Let us speak to the injustices in our world.
Let us move the mountains of fear and intimidation.
Let us shout down the walls that separate and divide.
Let us fill the earth with the fragrance of Love.
Let us be women who Love.

Let us listen for those who have been silenced.
Let us honour those who have been devalued.
Let us say, Enough! with abuse, abandonment, diminishing and hiding.
Let us not rest until every person is free and equal.
Let us be women who Love.

Let us be women who are savvy, smart and wise.
Let us be women who shine with the light of God in us.
Let us be women who take courage and sing the song in our hearts.
Let us be women who say, Yes to the beautiful, unique purpose seeded in our souls.
Let us be women who call out the song in another’s heart.
Let us be women who teach our children to do the same.
Let us be women who Love.

Let us be women who Love, in spite of fear.
Let us be women who Love, in spite of our stories.
Let us be women who Love loudly, beautifully, Divinely.
Let us be women who Love.

 If you aren't sold yet on subscribing to their "Stories of Sisterhood," I encourage you to scope out what has quickly become my new favorite website.

Nobel Laureate Ladies - a select group

This year, for the first time since 2004, the Nobel Prize was awarded to a woman... to 3 in fact.

Before 2011, (the award began in 1901) only "40 of the total 776 Peace Prize winners have been women in the past, and no three women have ever won the prize together"(1).

So who were these newest 3 to join the select group of Nobel Laureate Ladies?

Ellen Johnson Sirleaf - "the first and only democratically elected female head of state in Africa. She founded the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in 2006, which investigated 20 years of civil war and human rights violations in Liberia" (1)

 

Leymah Gbowee - "also active in achieving peace in Liberia. As the founder of the Women of Liberia Mass Action for Peace, she became a non-violent force against civil war" (1)

 

Tawakkul Karman - "a human rights activist and politician in Yemen, a country currently experiencing a large-scale popular movement against the government. Karman organized student rallies in the capital of Sanaa, after which she was arrested. When she was released, she immediately went back to protesting." (1)

 

They were awarded the 1.5 million dollars to support their efforts towards peace because of  "their non-violent struggle for the safety of women and for women's rights to full participation in peace-building work" (2). 

 

But women (and men) can win the Nobel Prize for efforts in science and literature as well as working towards peace. 

 

Here's info on the other 40 women who came before these 3 ladies.

Hopefully that number will grow in the future to be a bit more balanced with the boys but, until then, keep your eye on Sirleaf, Gbowee and Karman in their efforts to elevate peace and women throughout the world...

9 Words Women Use - a little humor for ya ;)

I wish I could say I wrote this but I just came across it in a chain email so Lord knows who the author is. Even though I cannot pass along the credit to the clever person who created this, it was just too funny so I had to share it with y'all.

I hope you enjoy...

9 Words Women Use

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. "Five minutes" is only actually five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the football game before helping around the house.

3. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

4. A Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing there and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer quickly to No. 9 for the meaning of "nothing.")

5. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

6. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question or faint. Just say "you're welcome." (I want to add a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" - that will bring on No. 7).

7. Whatever: This is a woman's way of saying "F--- YOU!"

8. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to No. 4.

9. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in "Fine;" (Refer back to No. 1 for the meaning of "fine.").

As a woman, though I hate to admit it, I would have to attest to the accuracy of much of what you see above... as do all of my female friends.

So, guys: take notes!!!  ;) 

Again, disclaimer: other than some editing and adding emphasis on certain sections, I did not write the 9 Words That Women Use and I don't know who did. It can be found all over the internet by simply searching the title. Let me know if you discover the author!

Guerilla Girls - Creative Complaining

Who are they? 

According to their website, they are "feminist masked avengers in the tradition of anonymous do-gooders like Robin Hood, Wonder Woman and Batman." And, "We're a bunch of anonymous females who take the names of dead women artists as pseudonyms and appear in public wearing gorilla masks." Why? "We wear gorilla masks to focus on the issues rather than our personalities."

And I was lucky enough to see their informative and very entertaining presentation at CofC this semester. 

Their goal: 

To "expose sexism, racism and corruption in politics, art, film and pop culture." And, "use humor to convey information, provoke discussion, and show that feminists can be funny."

And how do they do that? 

"With facts, humor and outrageous visuals. We reveal the understory, the subtext, the overlooked, the and the downright unfair." 

Check out some examples below of how they use art to accuse art: 

 

And people have noticed: 

"Our work has been passed around the world by our tireless supporters. In the last few years, we’ve appeared at over 90 universities and museums, as well as in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The New Yorker, Bitch, and Artforum; on NPR, the BBC and CBC; and in many art and feminist texts."

But they do way more than posters: 

"We are authors of stickers, billboards, many, many posters and other projects... We’re part of Amnesty International’s Stop Violence Against Women Campaign in the UK; we're brainstorming with Greenpeace. In the last few years, we've unveiled anti-film industry billboards in Hollywood just in time for the Oscars, and created large scale projects for the Venice Biennale, Istanbul and Mexico City. We dissed the Museum of Modern Art at its own Feminist Futures Symposium, examined the museums of Washington DC in a full page in the Washington Post, and exhibited large-scale posters and banners in Athens, Bilbao, Montreal, Rotterdam, Sarajevo and Shanghai.

In addition, they have published several funny and interesting books: 

Confessions of The Guerrilla Girls

 

The Guerrilla Girls' Bedside Companion to the History of Western Art

 

 

  

Bitches, Bimbos and Ballbreakers: The Guerrilla Girls' Illustrated Guide to Female Stereotypes

 

 

The Guerrilla Girls' Art Museum Activity Book

 

 

And their plans for the future? 

"More creative complaining! More facts, humor and fake fur! More appearances, actions and artworks. We could be anyone; we are everywhere." 

 If you want to know more, here is a snippet from their F.A.Q. page:

How did your group get started? Why do you call yourselves Guerrillas? Why girls? Why the gorilla masks? Why the pseudonyms?

That is ancient history....you can read all about it in our interview.

 Or, just check out their whole website :) 

Men and Women AND the Purse Dilema

I have a dilemma: tonight is A Charleston Affair (kinda like the prom of college) and I don't have the right purse. It is not an issue of not having the right color or size; I simply do not have any clutch or other cocktail-appropriate purse.

So, what's a Southern Belle to do?

While I normally carry my "hockey bag" purse (see video below) which is simply too large for tonight's event, I figured I could hijack my date's pockets and have him carry my essentials (i.e. lip-gloss, ID, cell phone, etc.). But then I didn't want him to face his own dilemma (see the rest of the video below!).

Sorry for the poor quality; the content of the comedy makes up for it though!

But is he onto something? Having the guy just carry a purse?

More and more men are: according to this website, there has been a 21% increase in murses (male purses) sold in the last year.

Despite the increase, I think most would still agree that it looks odd when a man carries a purse today...

He even has a clutch like I need ;)

You may not believe it but men were actually the first ones to carry purses. According to Barbara G. H. Hagarty's book Handbags, men carried them first. Yes, I repeat:

murses preceded purses  

because men needed a bag to hold their coin money. This dates back to ancient times in Greece and Rome.

If only Charleston Affair could have come after the Center for Women's 10th Annual It's in the Bag Purse Auction on May 13th; no doubt, I could have found the perfect purse there.

But as for now, I'll have to hope my date will risk his own dilemma and carry my essentials for me :)

For your next night out, if you don't have a date or if yours won't accommodate your essentials by letting you hijack his pockets,  select your bag wisely because, as Ellen Rachlin said, (quoted in Hagarty's book):

A woman in her lifetime will spend far more hours hugging a handbag than a man. 

Ain't that the truth? ;) 

  

Growing Up and Growing My Network - Center for Women's Speed Networking Event

Monday night made me an adult. Or at least it made me feel like one.

I walked into the Center for Women’s 9^th Annual Entrepreneurs Networking Event, wearing slacks and carrying my first set of official business cards. I went in as a senior in college overwhelmed by my future and I left encouraged, empowered, and informed with new contacts and job options.  

I wish every senior had the opportunity that I did. Lucky enough to be serving as the Center for Women intern, I planned to attend the event to help them but I did not realize how much I would be helping myself.

Entering a room filled with tons of tables and wonderful women, I found my place at the correctly numbered table. Each table was numbered for 3 different rounds of speed networking, which was much like speed dating only, at the end of the night you end up with job opportunities rather than romantic ones.

And I certainly did end up with opportunities – many of them. Throughout the two hours I was able to meet and exchange business cards with almost 30 women!?! I have already received an email, a phone call and a LinkedIn request… all from one evening.

I have been told over and over again in college that it is more of who you know rather than what you know.  

I cannot think of a better or more enjoyable way to increase who I know than an event like Monday night’s. It was so encouraging to see women excited and motivated in what they were doing for themselves and for the community. I walked away with job opportunities and contacts but, more importantly, empowerment to feel like I can truly make an impact in my community, as was evident in each of the women I met.

As if this was not enough, the event also increased what I know as well. The incredibly eloquent and entertaining Dr. Elaine Yarbrough spoke on Women’s Wisdom. She had startling statistics and revealing data on how women are disadvantaged starting as children in elementary school classrooms up to working women in the board rooms. Fortunately, she also shared advice on how to support other women and stand up for ourselves in the office, home, and community.

I now feel like I have a jumpstart to do just that because of this event and all the great connections I made there!

If you want to join me, be sure to check out the Center for Women and become a member if you aren’t already.

Annnnnd, be sure to come out to the 10^th Annual Entrepreneurs Networking event in 2011, especially if you missed the fun this year!

Operation Beautiful: Join the Movement

• 2 out of 5 women would trade 5 years of their life to be thin
• The majority of women overestimate their own waist size by 30 % and their hip size by 16%
• More women are suffering from anorexia or bulimia than are fighting breast cancer
• Most American girls begin to diet when they are just 8 years old
• Why are we are own worst enemies?
• It's time to face the facts: we have a serious body image crisis on our hands.
• facts above taken from this video.

So, what are we going to do about this crisis?

One thing we can do is join Operation Beautiful.

It is a simple thing (post it notes) with poweful results (women feeling better about themselves!).

If you haven't heard the buzz about this wonderful organization, check out the organization's mission below:

The goal of the Operation Beautiful website is to end negative self-talk or “Fat Talk.” If this little blog only does one productive thing, I hope it helps readers realize how truly toxic negative self-talk is — it hurts you emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

Through my own experiences fighting Fat Talk, I’ve realized the power behind an anonymous act such as Operation Beautiful. When I post a note, I’m saying, “I CHOOSE to be positive!”

I began Operation Beautiful by leaving positive messages on the mirrors of public restrooms — at work, at the gym, at the grocery store. I scribble down whatever comes to mind — "You are beautiful!" or "You are amazing just the way you are!" My personal goal is to leave as many Operation Beautiful notes as I can. Maybe some people read them and just smile, but I bet some people are truly touched by the effort of a random stranger.

As if that wasn't fabulous enough, the site has wonderful links to "Change the Way You See."

Another cool thing is this was all started by a young woman (now only 26) named Caitlin.

Her simple idea is now a national movement, appearing on shows like Oprah, The Today Show and many more.


Please join the movement.
Stop the self-hatred and "fat talk."
Buy some post-it notes!
Check out the CofC Chapter on facebook and, get involved so you can, as they say: "Spread the beauty. Feel the love."

And, lastly, remember:
YOU. ARE. BEAUTIFUL!

Jesus IS different: a feminist's take on Jesus and gender roles

Oil is to water as feminist is to church.

Or so many people assume, especially in the South.

That, however, is not true - at least in my case - because of JESUS.

Yes, churches may have a problem or at least a discomfort with feminists but, I don't think Jesus would have. Jesus was different. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if Jesus even identified as a feminist.

In a society where "a woman's social position was on the same level as that of children and slaves... [where] a woman's fortune was entirely tied to that of her husband [where] Boys went to school - girls didn't - which only perpetuated a system that limited women to hearth and home" (p 178), Jesus was different.  Back in Biblical times, Jesus approached women, spoke with them, taught them, traveled with them, loved and respected them.

"When women called [Jesus] 'Savior,' they may have been speaking of the temporal as well as the spiritual world" (p 175).

"Of course, each woman would have an individual response to Jesus, but judging from what we know of their surroundings, many women certainly had a positive one. Scattered throughout the Gospels are stories similar to that of the jug-bearing Samaritan woman [the woman at the well, John 4:4-42], where the female object of Jesus's attention is at first incredulous, then surprised, then excited to be addressed as an equal by such a compassionate and obviously learned man. Invariably, the stories end with the woman returning to her place of origin to share the message with her counterparts - as with the healing of Jarius's daughter in Matthew 9:18-26, when 'the report of this spread throughout the district.' In that healing as in so many others involving women, Jesus intentionally highlighted their plight" (p 174).

Jesus was different. 


"Besides the obvious benefits of physical healing, how much of the good news that the women seemed so anxious to share centered on their acceptance as disciples on a par with Jesus's male followers?... Maybe Jesus's women are, instead, reacting positively to a spiritual leader who is talking to them face-to-face and giving them access to knowledge that up to then they had not possessed" (p 175).

Jesus was different. 


"Here was a man who was preaching and teaching and living a life of equality in a world sharply defined by gender roles. Here was a man who insisted on conversation with people whom society had rendered invisible - the women, the sick, the poor. How much more powerful was his message when he spoke to a poor, sick woman?" (p 176).

Jesus was very different. 


"But Mosaic law [as in, the law of Moses... i.e. the 10 Commandments and such] contained some fairly restrictive rules in regard to women, in particular in regard to their menstruation. If the original law was devoted more to cleanliness and health - as were dietary laws - than to the cultural restriction of women, there is some thought that this law was reinforced by bodies of writing such the Mishnah, the first recording of the Oral Torah, in part to quell the growing equality fostered by early Christianity [my emphasis added]. In other words, the older law was in place in no small part to help ensure the physical safety of the Jews. As early Christianity and its message of oneness between the genders gained a toehold and then a foothold in ancient Mediterranean society, subsequent Jewish writings came down harder on restricting the movement and lives of females, which was hardly the laws' original intent" (p 178-79).

Hopefully you have caught on by now but, I shall say it again: Jesus was different. He did not get hung up on those older, tedious laws. He also did not repress women with their lineage - to Eve or otherwise.

"Never once is it recorded that Jesus reminded a woman - as Jewish law did - that she was the daughter of Eve, nor did he hint that women were responsible for any sin other than their own. It simply was not an issue for him, and that must have been a freeing thing for women of that time to hear" (p181).

The wonderful thing is that it STILL is a freeing thing for women of THIS time to hear.


Jesus IS different. 


Yes, some churches may cherry pick certain verses to maintain society's gender roles but, clearly, Jesus did not see a need for that separation: "There is no longer Jew nor Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus" - Galatians 3:28

Nonetheless, "writer after writer uses the Bible as the key tool against women's emancipation. With no thought to context, certain members of today's churches repeat the (misinterpreted) canard that women are to keep silent in the assembly, and that women are not to usurp authority over a man. Those same elect point to commonly held historical interpretations of the sacred text that wrongly insist there were no female apostles or early church leaders [um, hello, not only Mary Magdalene, Mary, Martha, but also Phoebe, Nympha, etc.] The role of women has been deleted or greatly discounted in subsequent retellings of the biblical stories... and far too much trust placed in the hands of unseen and unknown authors from long ago [likely influenced by that gender-role-requiring society]. The same rigorous scrutiny one would bring to, say, a new insurance policy is not practiced in regard to the Bible.

"Only by looking at the data as a whole can we come to understand Jesus and his honest and historical approach to gender. And then perhaps we, too, can respond as Martha did, with a resounding and matter-of-fact confession that Jesus is Christ, and his message applies equally to all of us" (p 183).

Thank God that Jesus was and IS different from society in how he treats women. 

"Yes, Lord," she told him, "I believe that You are the Christ, the Son of God, who has come into the world."

                                                 - Martha, John 11:27


NOTE:

Excerpts in this blog were taken from Chapter 10: Water Jugs in the book Dating Jesus: a story of Fundamentalism, Feminism, and the American Girl by Susan Campbell. The author, pushed away from Christianity by a rigorous and extreme Fundamentalist upbringing, is no longer a regular church attendee, but she is still "dating Jesus." This was a childhood notion she had that has stuck with her well into adulthood and the inspiration for her book. She clearly knows her stuff and was full of facts and references as well as humor if you'd like to read the book.

Also, the somewhat odd title of her chapter (Water Jugs) is a reference to women: "Throughout history, says feminist theologian Elisabeth Moltman-Wendel, water jugs have been a symbol associated with women. Women of significance in the Bible are often portrayed either holding a water jug or container or in close proximity to one. Abraham straps a water container onto Hagar's shoulder before he sends her wandering with her son in Genesis 21:14. Rebekah lets Abraham's servant drink from her jar in Genesis 24, and opens up a whole can of worms with Isaac. You get the idea. You see a woman, and a water container is most likely somewhere nearby" (p 170-71).

More Menstruation: a funny article

I found a funny though far-fetched article that really makes you think. Plus it has some creative photos!

It is called "If Men Could Menstruate" and I promise it isn't gory or gross, but quite thought-provoking and I think correct in its assumptions of how different menstruation would be if men did it and not women...

Check it out here.

Crazy right? And so clever. Probably correct?

So why would it be so different? Why don't we, as women, work menstruation in our favor like men would? Why do we hide it as a shameful thing when men would boast and compete?

Men don't menstruate; we do. Now let's do something to own that a little more proudly.

I'm not saying we should run around announcing our periods and truly bragging about them BUT Gloria Steinem (the author) was onto something. I mean men won't begin menstruating anytime soon but I think we can get a little more in her hypothetical male mindset regarding menstruation. Wouldn't it be nice to have a National Institute of Dysmenorrhea or federally funded sanitary supplies?

Our first step towards these things is simply not to be ashamed of the natural process of menstruation; I mean it is what allows us to continue our species on earth! That is something to be pretty proud of :)

A History of Menstruation: terms, customs/beliefs, and fashion!

Yet again I am combining school with blogging because I simply lack any brain power or extra time to muster up a creative original after this draining week of something due in every class and much less sleep than I would like.
Below you'll find a paper I wrote for my History of Fashion and Manners class focusing on the history of menstruation...

Not my funniest post (at least not on purpose) but it is full of facts, especially random ones!

Menstruation: Manners, Fashion and More

            Menstruation happens all the time but we hardly ever hear about it. Furthermore, though every society faces this act of nature, many tend to treat it differently and those customs have changed over time. In uncovering some of the mystery of menstruation, I shall focus on words, customs or beliefs, products and fashions.

            First, there are several interesting words regarding menstruation. Some are just nicknames for it such as Aunt Flo, On the Rag, Leak Week, Surfing the Crimson Tide, and My Dot, among others (4). However, some names are much more specific: “menstruation” is from Old English “mondablot” or “month blood;” in Latin, “menses” means “month;” an Amazon culture’s word for “woman” translates to “the person with a red streak down the leg” (2); and the term “period” dates back to 1822 meaning “an interval of time” (4). Furthermore, some menstruation words have much more tainted meanings: “The term ‘ritual’ is derived from the Sanskrit word ‘R’tu,’ which means ‘menstrual.’ This etymology suggests that ritual in a general sense and menstrual acts have a common origin;” Also, the “word taboo comes from the Polyneisain tapua, meaning both ‘sacred’ and ‘menstruation’… [where] sacred means both ‘set apart’ and ‘cursed’.” (4). Lastly, some of the words simply refer to products: “Tampon is French for ‘plug’ or ‘bung,’ a variant from the Old French tapon meaning a ‘piece of cloth to stop a hole;” for o.b. tampon company, “o.b. means ‘ohne Binde,’ without a pad, in German;” and Kotex stood for “COtten-like TEXture… because women were used to cotton and the new Kotex was made from wood pulp, making it cheaper” (2).

            Second, there has been a vast array of menstruation customs or beliefs over the years. First, in reference to religion:

 “Judaism, Hinduism, and Islam all prohibit sex during menstruation. Both Jews and Muslims require women to achieve ritual purity after menstruation, through the Jewish mikvah (literally ‘collection,’ as in a collection of water) or the Islamicghusl (ablution), respectively;” also, “Christian churches have refused communion to menstruating women” (4). Beyond religious reasons, sex was discouraged while women were menstruating because “During the nineteenth century, it was widely thought that intercourse with a menstruating woman would transmit gonorrhea, which may have been mistaken for trichomoniasis. Trichomoniasis becomes worse during menstruation because of lower vaginal acidity”(4).

            There were other mis-informed beliefs regarding menstruation blood: Hippocrates of Ancient Greece “may have started the process of bleeding out after observing women recovering from bloating and aches and pains after starting their periods” (2); “Menstrual blood was thought to cure warts, birthmarks, gout, goiters, hemorrhoids, epilepsy, worms, leprosy, and headaches. It was also used in love charms, could ward off demons, and was occasionally used as an offering to a god. The first napkin worn by a virgin was thought to be a cure for the plague” and in “many cultures, a fetus was thought to be formed in the womb by clotting menstrual blood” (4). 

Additional misunderstandings came from beliefs about the mental states of women on their periods: “At one point in history, women who complained of menstrual cramps (dysmenorrhea) were sent to psychiatrists because menstrual cramps were seen as a rejection of one’s femininity” and “Psychoanalysts, such as Freud, have suggested that menstruation is a “bloody sign of a woman’s loss of penis” and that it is a reminder of a woman’s “uncleanliness and inferiority” (4).

Some things assumed in relation to menstruation, though, were not incorrect. These included some of the firsts concepts of time and numerical thinking, as well as the first lunar calendar, all based upon the menstrual cycle (4).

Lastly, a few more concrete customs brought on by menstruation include:

• menses huts have been built in many societies to keep women separate while menstruating for reasons from fear to reverence (4)
• as matriarchy gave way to patriarchy, menstruation shifted from being powerful to a tool of oppression (4)
• washing and changing underclothing was not done for fear of causing more bleeding (2)
• strong perfumes were used to mask the smell (2)
• some cultures believe the smell is a sign of fertility and attracts men (2)
• many women wore nothing and just let it run down their legs, hidden by long chemises and dresses (2)
• factories where women worked would simply lay straw down on the floor to absorb the menstrual blood (2)

Though most women wore nothing initially, as products became available, more and more women started to use them. First there was a belted pad, then an adhesive pad before tampons and finally cups.

First, “American patents for menstrual devices start in 1854 for a belt with steel springs to hold a pad, but really don't pick up steam until the 1870s” (2). Belted pads were worn in between the legs and then taken off to be washed at night. They were used up until the 1970s and could be held up with suspenders or belts and pads could be pinned in (2). An image of a possible 19^th century belt is pictured here. 

Pads of this type are still available from smaller companies(2).

However, most of these fell out of favor with the arrival of disposable pads from Kotex is 1921 which likely developed from bandages for soldiers in World War I (2). Kotex further dominated the menstrual market when it came out with adhesive pads in the 1970s. A Swedish ad demonstrates the new product and how much more comfortable and concealable it was, seen here. 

Though tampons were sold to mass audiences in the 1930s in America, it is likely that they had been around for years and years before that; for example, “Ancient Egyptians used softened papyrus as rudimentary tampons  [and] Hippocrates notes that the Greeks used lint wrapped around wood…The modern tampon was invented by Dr. Earle Haas in 1929, which was called a ‘catamenial device’ or ‘monthly device.’ He trademarked the brand name Tampax” (4).  Tampons altered once more with the addition of an applicator which was patented in the 1930s (2).

The most recent menstrual product is the cup. It was first created in the 1930s and made from rubber latex (3); however, it fell out of favor and only recently resurfaced as a popular option. The cups are reusable and very environmentally friendly preventing the waste created by all the disposable feminine hygiene products (3).

Lastly, how does all of this relate to fashion?

First, women wore nothing. This would seem like it would be disastrous but due to malnourishment, physical exertion, higher pregnancy rates and other factors, women in previous eras had far less periods than today’s woman; “The average women in a modern industrialized society menstruates 450 times in her life. Conversely, prehistoric women menstruated only 50 times—and today, women in agrarian regions menstruate about 150 times in a lifetime” (4). However, when a period did come, women would cover it with a chemise: a long, floor-length gown (2).

It took a long time for this fashion to fade but eventually wearing of underpants became accepted practice around 1800 and remained so throughout the century (2).

These underpants were often open in the crotch for dealing with menstruation and urination (2); However, crotches soon closed because of “shorter and looser, more clinging dresses, allowing women to reach under and pull their drawers down (‘draw’ means ‘pull’) when on the toilet and to better conceal their vulvas if their dresses hiked up, as from the wind, or from a more active life than in former decades” (2).

As undergarments shrank in size, protection from period leaks came in the form of almost diapers when women would take old clothes, handkerchiefs, sheets and other fabrics and fold them over or button and pin them under their clothes; these could be highly visible and bulky but were their only options (2).

          A further form of protection came from sanitary aprons. These were worn from the shoulders and hung down, not to absorb blood as pads would do, but simply to prevent clothing from being stained (1). 

Next came the belts and then the disposable pads and lastly tampons and cups.

Some other interesting fashion that has evolved from menstruation includes the following: some women in India wear a scarf around their neck dyed by their menstrual blood as a sign that they are on their period; and scholars suggest that marriage rites are an extension of menarchal rites, which may explain why many bridal dresses were historically red. The bride would also walk on a red carpet to the wedding ceremony, wearing a red veil (4).

In conclusion, menstruation may be overlooked but actually has had a huge impact on our society through words, customs, products and fashion.

Sources:

1. Cappon, Colleen. “Shocking Facts About the Flow: What You Always Wanted to Know About Your Period, But Were Too Afraid to Ask.” Fox News. 29 Mar. 2010. Fox News Network. 10 Apr. 2010. <http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,590056,00.html>.
2. Finley, Harry. “When they menstruated, they left a trail of blood behind them.” MUM. 1999. Museum of Menstruation and Women’s Health. 10 Apr. 2010. <http://www.mum.org/pastgerm.htm>.
3. “Menstrual Cup History and Our Story.” The Diva Cup. 12 Apr. 2010. 10 Apr. 2010 <http://www.divacup.com/en/home/history/>.
4. “68 Random Facts About… Menstruation.” Random History. 2010. 10 Apr. 2010. <http://facts.randomhistory.com/random-facts-about-menstruation.html>.

Menstruation: a disclaimer and preview

I suppose I should issue a bit of a disclaimer in that my next post or two will be dealing with menstruation; have no fear there isn't too much detailed biological info and I promise you won't see one drop of blood ;)

I simply have a strange interest in this topic and since it is the 50th anniversary of  the birth control pill in America (at least as approved by the FDA) there has been a lot of discussion in feminist circles around this topic of birth, contraception, menstruation, etc. Basically, I'm trying to assure you I am not the only one who finds this fascinating ;)

Hopefully you will gain a new appreciation, if not fascination, of it in my posts to follow.

Furthermore, it is my wish that this topic - menstruation - will not be so taboo anymore. It is a natural process that allows our species to continue!?!

So, talk about it.

Mothers to daughters, sisters to brothers, girlfriends to boyfriends, wives to husbands, etc. This can work in reverse too; I am sure boys have plenty of questions for us but they are afraid to ask. And we don't share.

In general, our society is almost silent on this topic unless they are making fun of it or accusing women of being moody/emotional, or telling women how to hide/clean it. I don't think this is healthy or accurate.

We need to just put the facts out there. And, because it is a bit of an awkward topic, I plan to infuse a lot of humor with those facts so that it can cut the tension ;)

Enjoy...

Models have known for a long time that short hair and small boobs are sexy ;)

I read that quote in a magazine years ago and I often remember it. It may not come as a surprise to you that I have short hair and small boobs ;)

But are these really sexy in our society?

They were in the 1920s!

My first focus in this post shall mostly be on the short hair aspect since I recently got my hair cut.

Before I describe this recent haircut, let me fill you in on my first "short" haircut...

It was a Monday in 9th grade and yearbook pictures were to be taken the next day. Since my usual hair salon was not open on Mondays and my mother informed me I needed a haircut, I tried a new salon. That afternoon I went in with shoulder-length hair and requested a trim and some much needed bangs to cover my high forehead... as suggested by my mom.

When I left, my new bangs were the longest part of my hair!?!

I was almost in tears.

The next day I entered school, wearing our androgynous uniforms of baggy khaki pants and a shapeless maroon polo shirt. Mind you, I am not a particularly voluptuous woman (back to the small boobs thing) and so more than once that day I was mistaken from behind as my twin brother.

Being confused for a boy = NOT good.

Documenting this day and this hair for all of posterity since it was picture day = even worse!

Since others confused me for my brother, I began to associate short haircuts as "boy" haircuts.

I now have another "boy" haircut after entering a new salon with shoulder-length hair. It seems this is a bad pattern that I should guard against in the future. Unfortunately, I am too trusting of hair stylists in that they are the professionals and I assume their preference trumps mine.

Having said that, the hair stylist did do a great job and I know that it is a good haircut, it just gives me flashbacks to that tragic 9th grade "boy" haircut and causes me to feel unfeminine.

This is almost ridiculous since I am about the girliest girl I know... currently wearing bright pink nail polish and a purple polka-dot top as I type this.

But I cannot escape the sense that in our society the length of a woman's hair seems a direct correlation to her femininity.

Yes, we have the rare exceptions such as Rihanna, Sienna Miller, and Halle Berry BUT for the most part, our ideal "sexy" women have the long, luxurious hair.

Feedback that I have gotten on my recent haircut has been that it looks "grown up," "sophisticated," and "stylish" but never once was it said to be "pretty" or "sexy."

Fortunately, I am taking my History of Fashion and Manners class and ever so conveniently, the era we were focusing on right after my haircut was the 1920s when short hair was
VERY sexy.

First there was the classic bob of the flappers.

Then came the shingled look... think Roxie Hart from the movie Chicago.

And lastly, and most extreme, was the "boy" haircut known as the eton crop.

Those were the divas, the sexy ideal, from back then... all with "boy" haircuts.

As I sit here with my new short do, I am getting used to it and appreciating the following:
1) As summer is approaching, it will be quick to style and cool in the heat
2) Hair always grows back

However, I am not sure yet that I shall grow my hair out.

Until then, I realize it is cut and I cannot put it back on or grow it back to the length it was overnight. Thus I plan to be positive, hold my short-haired head high and embrace this look.

My second focus of this post shall be small boobs.

It turns out that this was also a popular look for women in the 1920s. So much so, in fact, that they had something called flatteners rather than bras. They literally smushed the boobs against a woman's body to give her a more boyish and straight-lined look.

Here is a video of some of the women and their fashions from the 1920s. About 2:40 into the video, you can see a woman get her hair cut into the bob and then styled into the shingled look.

So whether you are a model or an everyday woman, take confidence in how you look, even if it does not fit the beauty ideals of the present moment.

That is the key that models and these daring women of the 1920s seemed to have in common: confidence.

If you are confident, you are beautiful... short hair, long hair, big boobs, small boobs and everything in between.

So I plan to be confident as I am bringin sexy back all the way from the 1920s with my bob "boy" haircut and small boobs!