You're More Beautiful Than You Think

You're More Beautiful Than You Think.

I'd be willing to bet on it.

As women especially, we are ridiculously hard on ourselves.

It has never been more apparent than in this recent experiment by Dove:

These women so misrepresented themselves. The sketch of what others saw was so much more grace-giving than the ones where they described how they perceived themselves to be.

We see - and focus on - flaws rather than our stronger features.

I do it too. 

I recently had a horrible breakout AND an even worse haircut that looked like a mix between Cindy Lou Who from the Grinch and a 1960s bouffant hairstyle. There was an increase in self-hate talk and a decrease in confidence. 

Thank God those are two very temporary situations. 

Skin clears and hair grows back. 

But, sadly, body image issues remain.

I recently saw this article that summarizes 9 things we should know about body-image issues: 

1. Was the video from above; here is a still-shot the article showed: 
   

2. 5'3" and 166.2 pounds: average height and weight for American women. 5'10" and 120 pounds: average for fashion models
3. Age 6: when girls start to express concerns about their own weight or shape. 40-60% of elementary girls: amount who are concerned about their weight or about becoming too fat. (AGE 6!?! No wonder this is a pervasive problem for women... we are conditioned to be concerned about our image by the time we begin elementary school.)
4. 12-13 years old: the median ages for onset of an eating disorder in adolescents. 20 million: U.S. women who suffer from a clinically significant eating disorder at some time in their life.
5.  4%: amount of women globally who consider themselves beautiful.
6. 2/3 of women globally: the amount who strongly agree that "the media and advertising set an unrealistic standard of beauty that most women can't ever achieve"
7. Researchers have found that "fat talk"—a phenomena in which a person makes negative claims about their weight to others—is an expected norm among women and a way for them to appear more modest.
8. A study published in the Journal of Eating Disorders found that while "fat talk" tended to decrease with age, "old talk" often came in to replace it, and that both were reported by women who appeared to have a negative body image
9. The only complete way to overcome the problem is to have our beliefs about body image transformed by the Holy Spirit. As Heather Davis says in the Journal of Biblical Counseling:

In pursuing worldly beauty, we strive to become this elusive image in place of who we really are. You and I are created in the image of the living God. Our purpose is to reflect His image to the world. But since the fall, we let the world inscribe its image on us. It is the very picture of sin and ultimately death. Instead of being transformed to God's image, we conform to the world's image...

God makes you beautiful with the beauty of His Son, Jesus. It is in gazing at God's image in Jesus Christ that you are transformed. Romans 12:1-2 says, "Therefore, I urge you, (sisters) in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not be conformed any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."

And, said in a different way, this is one of my all-time favorite slam poems, "You are Beautiful" by Mike Young. It is SO worth a listen! 

Some of my favorite lines of his are... 

• Saying that you're nothing does not honor me
• Humility isn't thinking less of you, it's thinking of you less
• This reality: you look just like your Daddy
• [who thinks you're beautiful?] "I do" proclaims the voice that spoke the skies 
• You are beautiful because of what I say... - God

Genesis 1:27 says: 

So God created human beings in his own image.
    In the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them.

We look just like our daddy. 

As Mike Young says, the voice that spoke the skies spoke our name and when He did, He had glory on his lips. 

We are beautifully and wonderfully made in the image of the creator of the entire world. 

He does not make mistakes and He made us exactly as we are... it is a slap in His face when we insult our image or anyone else since we all represent Him. 

I hope you can live out the Romans verses above. Break you mind from distorting your image from anything but beautiful.

As the Dove campaign put it, "You're More Beautiful Than You Think."

Barbie Syndrome... even for boys

I have a love/hate relationship with Barbie.

I do like her, believe me. I had what would probably be considered too many Barbie things growing up:

• I had a small army of nearly 50 (k, maybe that is an exaggeration... 30?) Barbies - men, women, even retro ones - some of my aunts' dolls from the 70s that my Granny kept. 

• Then there was the hot pink, remote-controlled convertible. Oh yes! 

• And, the crowning glory: my 3-story, bright pink Barbie Dream-House complete with an elevator and a cat that purred from the kitchen sink windowsill. No lie.

My Barbies - even just one - provided endless hours of entertainment. 


And they also provided 

the breeding ground for body and beauty insecurities. 

For me and nearly every other girl in America.

It is no surprise really.

BARBIE WAS THE TOP-SELLING TOY IN THE 20th CENTURY!?! (1)

So she affected a lot of girls. But not in a good way.

Check out this comparison of the average woman and Barbie: (1)

                      Height:             5'4"                            6'

                Weight:            145 lbs.                      101 lbs. 

                Dress Size:       11-14                          4 

                Bust:                 36-37"                        39"

                Waist:               29-31"                        19"

                Hips:                 40-42"                       33"

Frightening right?

A more accurate Barbie might look like this: 

But would we still play with her? Want to dress her up? 

I think there should be a balance between unattainable beauty standards but also health. I'm not sure that the above picture strikes that balance but it certainly does make a point: 

Barbies don't look like real women. 

This is being dubbed "Barbie Syndrome."(1)

The odd thing is that it has started to affect boys as well. 

It seems their dolls (excuse me: "action figures"), have set some pretty high body standards as well. 

"Male action figures have grown increasingly muscular over the years. GI Joes, for example, have biceps that are twice as large as those of a typical man and larger than those of any known bodybuilder. These action figures (and comic strip heroes) put boys at risk of developing the 'Barbie Syndrome' - unrealistic expectations for their bodies. As a result, some researchers maintain, increasing numbers of men are becoming preoccupied with working out and taking dangerous drugs such as anabolic steroids" (1) emphasis added

Good, maybe people will pay attention to the problem now. 

Don't get me wrong, I still wear pink and high heels and I wouldn't mind driving a pink convertible around BUT I'd like to do that without worrying about blowing away in the wind because I don't weigh enough to be fully human and healthy. 

Also, I'd love for my future daughter one day to have a Barbie Dream-House and all that I had but 

my hope is that...

her Barbies will provide a realistic body image. 

Further, I hope that her Barbie will be arriving at her Dream-House, getting back from some fabulous job where she will be far too busy planning exciting, intelligent and more important things than to have to waste brain energy worrying over whether her business suit makes her butt look big or something shallow like that.

(1) These notes were taken from my textbook: Marriages & Families: Changes, Choices, and Constraints by Nijole V. Benokraitis, 7th ed, 2011,  p 116-117

Operation Beautiful: Join the Movement

• 2 out of 5 women would trade 5 years of their life to be thin
• The majority of women overestimate their own waist size by 30 % and their hip size by 16%
• More women are suffering from anorexia or bulimia than are fighting breast cancer
• Most American girls begin to diet when they are just 8 years old
• Why are we are own worst enemies?
• It's time to face the facts: we have a serious body image crisis on our hands.
• facts above taken from this video.

So, what are we going to do about this crisis?

One thing we can do is join Operation Beautiful.

It is a simple thing (post it notes) with poweful results (women feeling better about themselves!).

If you haven't heard the buzz about this wonderful organization, check out the organization's mission below:

The goal of the Operation Beautiful website is to end negative self-talk or “Fat Talk.” If this little blog only does one productive thing, I hope it helps readers realize how truly toxic negative self-talk is — it hurts you emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

Through my own experiences fighting Fat Talk, I’ve realized the power behind an anonymous act such as Operation Beautiful. When I post a note, I’m saying, “I CHOOSE to be positive!”

I began Operation Beautiful by leaving positive messages on the mirrors of public restrooms — at work, at the gym, at the grocery store. I scribble down whatever comes to mind — "You are beautiful!" or "You are amazing just the way you are!" My personal goal is to leave as many Operation Beautiful notes as I can. Maybe some people read them and just smile, but I bet some people are truly touched by the effort of a random stranger.

As if that wasn't fabulous enough, the site has wonderful links to "Change the Way You See."

Another cool thing is this was all started by a young woman (now only 26) named Caitlin.

Her simple idea is now a national movement, appearing on shows like Oprah, The Today Show and many more.


Please join the movement.
Stop the self-hatred and "fat talk."
Buy some post-it notes!
Check out the CofC Chapter on facebook and, get involved so you can, as they say: "Spread the beauty. Feel the love."

And, lastly, remember:
YOU. ARE. BEAUTIFUL!

Special K Craziness

Let me start by saying that I have a box of Special K in my kitchen right now and I am not hating on their product. Vanilla Almond is delicious.

BUT, their messages are disgusting. I just saw the Christmas one where the mom is doing a craft with her daughter; the phone rings and she stands up with the kiddie chair stuck to her behind. Cute, yes, at first.

However, when you really think about it, what kind of message are they sending? This woman is HARDLY overweight. She looks perfectly fit and healthy but the viewer is supposed to think she is in need of losing weight!?!

What about a woman who is really overweight? Why not show a woman who looks like she might actually need to lose weight?

HOWEVER, I want to repeat my initial statement when I started this post. Kellogs Special K is not awful in taste or intention. In researching this post, I came across a great article of some very positive ads for women. Sadly, I haven't seen any in everyday life, magazines or on tv. The website lists that ad campaign from 1996.

Kellogs, I hope you return to that more positive message. Let's have some more of those become the norm... I agree with your tagline from back then: A Healthy Body Weight Looks Good on Everyone.

Well, your newest Special K commercials show a seemingly healthy body weight. By plugging the Special K Diet, you seem to suggest to your viewers that they should actually be thinner; this is NOT healthy.

A Sad Reality: young girls and body image

I went ice skating today. With friends from my Sunday School class and our teacher and her two daughters - one in pre-K, the other in 4th grade.

I brought my camera: purple, easy to operate, enticing to the youngest girl.

She wanted to take pictures. I let her.

At one point, she was photographing her older sister who she no doubt looks up to. Her sister said, "NO! Don't take pictures of my legs."

"Why," I asked her.

"Cause they're ugly," she said.

Completely shocked, I asked this beautiful, young girl before me, "Why do you think your legs are ugly?"

"They're fat," was all she said.

Recently she hit a growth spurt and now she is super tall and stretched out; my mom insists that she is "skinny as a beanpole."

I quickly tried to reassure her that there was not an ounce of fat on her but I could tell by the resolute self-disgust in her face that she did not believe me :(

This broke my heart and as much as I was sure it would break her mother's, I called her later to alert her to this body image issue in hopes that she could nip it in the bud.

Unfortunately, upon recounting the brief discussion, before I could finish she said, "her fat legs?"

Apparently this has been an issue for awhile and even today while driving home from the skating rink, the girl asked her mom, "What is the average weight for a 9 year old girl?"

Though this situation seems awful and perhaps abnormal, it isn't.

It is a sad reality.

"According to figures provided by the country's first residential eating disorder treatment facility, the Renfrew Center, and the Journal of American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 40% of 9-year-old girls diet regularly. According to the Harvard Eating Disorder Center in Boston, 42% of first-, second-, and third-grade girls want to be thinner. Eating disorders also have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness." This came from a great article entitled "More Young Girls Worry About Their Weight."

I remember struggling - though not dieting - when I was younger. One thing that encouraged me AND I think could encourage this young girl and many others who think their legs are "fat" is the old Thunder Thigh, etc. ads from Nike.

Check them out. Show them to the young girls - AND women - that you know.