Stereotypes: Terrorism, Feminism and Classical Music

Stereotypes

Stereotypes suck because they limit people - both those doing the stereotyping and those being stereotyped - because stereotypes build boxes that keep people in... and out.

These boxes block off potential - the potential for that person in your eyes and maybe in their own eyes of who they are and can become.

Take, for example, when we stereotype blondes as dumb: we lose the potential knowledge they could share because we write them off as ignorant AND they might lose the potential to believe they can be brainier because they live up to the dumb blonde stereotype.

Terrorism

But, given today's mark in history as the 10th anniversary of the September 11th attacks, I'm sure a different stereotype comes to mind for many of us:

Racial profiling that "Muslim" = "terrorist"

This became so common that this t-shirt was created:

Countless stereotypes exist about Muslims, especially in the media in relation to terrorism. However, according to NBC news, a " 2009 [Pew Research Center] study, Muslims in the United States are much more likely to say that suicide bombings are never justified in defense of Islam than Muslims in other countries. Almost eight in 10 American Muslims say that such attacks are never defensible, compared to 70 percent of Muslims in Britain, 64 percent of Muslims in France, and just 17 percent of Muslims who live in the Palestinian territory."

So, perhaps more Americans should resist the urge to judge a book by its cover... or a person by his or her religion. 

Feminism

I have been judged by my religion before. Countless feminists have been horrified and even in disbelief that I am not only Christian but Baptist. Many people think "Baptist" and "Feminist" cannot be one in the same but, for me they are because my faith is empowering not oppressive. 

Beyond being Baptist, though, I am often judged by my "cover" or appearance because I don't look like the typical stereotype of a feminist: manly, hairy, no bra, etc. (And, for the record, most feminists don't look like that!)

But most people who operate under those stereotypes, would probably never look at me and guess I'm a feminist. I actually look very mainstream... more like a brunette Barbie than say, Andrea Dworkin. 

And, I get judged for that ALL the time...

I have interacted with people who see me dressed in pink or florals or high high heels and assume I am vapid, materialistic and shallow. Then, I open my mouth and I can literally see an expression shoot across their face when they are surprised to see that I am reasonably intelligent and have something of value to add to the conversation.

But because the cover of my book is more like Barbie, I am boxed into a stereotype when in reality I just enjoy fashion after having endured uniforms for years in high school. It just so happens that instead of being emo/goth/grunge or some other counter-culture look, my fashion sense is undeniably and even excessively feminine... very Southern Belle you might say ;)

But, just like being Baptist empowers me, so does my femininity. I feel no need to hide the fact that I am a woman and I have absolutely no desire to look like a man.... I just happen to enjoy wearing skirts, makeup and perfume. This Southern Belle image I have, however, does not reduce my desire to learn, lead, or do anything else I set my mind to. 

Classical Music

Just to end on a fun note after this rather serious post, here is another person who looks a little different and shatters a stereotype while doing so :)

What do you think of when you think classical music? 

Nerdy guy, no fashion sense, elevator music? I have to admit, I sometimes boxed classical musicians into a stereotype similar to that : / 

However, a friend of mine recently introduced me to David Garret. Is it bad that I was hooked before I even heard him play??? ;) 

Anyways, he is from Germany and one of the fastest violinists in the world AND he modernizes the music by playing current songs... like Michael Jackson's Smooth Criminal: 

He has many more songs that might change the way you think about classical music :)

We may not all struggle with boxing in or being boxed in by these particular stereotypes of terrorist, feminist or classical music but we all face stereotypes. 

Next time you're about to judge someone by their appearance...

think OUTSIDE the box...

and let them show you who they truly are, even if who they truly are seems as incompatible as a Southern Belle (Baptist) Feminist :)

I'd Like to Introduce You to TED...

I have recently gotten to know TED.

TED is not my newest crush...that would be Scotty McCreery from American Idol. He is so, so, so precious. I mean, hello:

Singin'  Thompson Square's "Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not" 

I'd kiss him... but he is only 17!?! That might be robbin' the cradle ;)

Sorry, I digress.

Back to TED who is not my crush because TED is... not a person.  

TED is an awesome website with the primary purpose of providing access to

Ideas Worth Spreading.

Isn't that cool? 

It is a nonprofit that "started out (in 1984) as a conference bringing together people from three worlds: Technology, Entertainment, Design. Since then its scope has become ever broader." (1)

The additional topic themes are Business, Science, Culture, Arts, and Global Issues. But the home page features a variety of videos from all the different topics. And, even cooler: you can rearrange the homepage by things like: 

•  most emailed 
• most commented on  
• most jaw dropping 
• most inspiring/courageous/beautiful/persuasive/fascinating/funny/ingenious/informative
• and more...

I could spend days on this website. 

I love their mission: 

"We believe passionately in the power of ideas to change attitudes, lives and ultimately, the world. So we're building here a clearinghouse that offers free knowledge and inspiration from the world's most inspired thinkers, and also a community of curious souls to engage with ideas and each other." (1)

And lots of people are on-board with TED's mission:

Their advisory board includes people from diverse backgrounds - everything from an anthropologist to an architect, a physicist to a futurist, AND big names like the CEO of Amazon and the founders of Google... even Meg Ryan!?! 

TED stays busy: 

"Along with two annual conferences -- the TED Conference in Long Beach and Palm Springs each spring, and the TEDGlobal conference in Edinburgh UK each summer -- TED now includes the award-winning TEDTalks video series, the Open Translation Project and Open TV Project, the inspiring TED Fellows and TEDx programs, the social media platform TED Conversations, and the annual TED Prize." (1) More info here.

Lastly, here are a couple of my favorite finds (so far) on TED: 

Viktor Frankl: Why to believe in others

A talk all the way from 1972 is still relevant: how to make people reach their full potential, using an example of planes...

 

Ron Gutman: The hidden power of smiling

  Smiling is as stimulating as pounds of chocolate and thousands of dollars and helps your marriage and your health... plus, it makes you look good! 

(1) are quotes taken from ted.com 

Wake Up Yourself John Legend: Where are the women workers?

Wake Up Everybody is a great song but NOT a great video.

Since I recently watched and fell in love with Waiting for "Superman," I heard and fell in love with John Legend's song in the movie as well.

But, upon watching the music video, I have changed my mind a bit.

The  lyrics call out for help over and over:

Wake up everybody
No more sleepin' in bed
...Time for thinkin' ahead

...There is so much hatred
War and poverty, whoa, oh

...The world won't get no better
We gotta change it, yeah
Just you and me

...Wake up, all the builders
Time to build a new land
I know we can do it
If we all lend a hand

....The world won't get no better
If we just let it be, na, na, na
The world won't get no better
We gotta change it, yeah
Just you and me

...Wake up, everybody
Need a little help, y'all
Yes I do, need a little help

Need a little help, y'all

Need a little help y'all

Wake up everybody
Wake up everybody

Again, lyrically, it is a beautiful song. 

The problem, however, came in the music video: Watch the final bit of the video, starting from 3:50 where they call out that they "need a little help y'all." 

It seems that he is only referring to the male workers when he says "y'all;" the following MEN are all presented in the last minute or so of the song: 

• doctor (with a female patient in the background)
• cop
• a man in a suit - perhaps a teacher or a lawyer?
• cab driver
• construction workers 

The ONE AND ONLY WOMAN is presented in that same group of images... with her three kids. Disclaimer: I am not at all belittling mothers... I want very much to be one when I am older. 

However, I am belittling this video. Women can be more than mothers.

If John Legend really wants the world to change then he should engage the other half of the population. 

The sad thing is that his version of "Wake Up Everybody" is not original. 

It is a remake of Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes title track from 1975!?! It has been 35 years since that song was originally released!?!

And there is still "so much hatred, war and poverty." 

We need to wake up EVERYbody.... men and women. 

The world won't get no better
We gotta change it, yeah
Just you and me

...Wake up, all the builders
Time to build a new land
I know we can do it
If we all lend a hand

Lovebug Lesson: an oldie but a goodie

So, yet another week of being slammed with school is drawing to a close. It prevented me from writing a new post but tonight as I reviewed my old assignments in an attempt to compile a portfolio for an interview tomorrow, I came across this piece I wrote last year.

Sorry to again cop out with using school stuff on here but if I have not already made it clear, I am a bit of a nerd so my school tends to seep into other areas of my life ;) Having said that, this article is hardly dry, academic material...

And sadly, still single over a year later, the lesson I learned is still relevant in my life. Hopefully y'all will find it relevant too:

Lovebug Lesson

Newly single and past the crying phase I was trying to bolster myself back up again listening to strong, female rockers screaming about how they did not need a man and are better off without him, etc., etc., etc. Just as soon as Kelly Clarkson finished the last lines of “Walk Away,” I went to answer my dog’s scratch at the door, signaling he wanted back inside. As he came prancing in, a barrage of lovebugs flew right in with him in an ironic, cruel, and unusual visual of what I had just lost and what I wanted most at that very moment: love.

A bunch of dumb bugs. Their little black and red bodies attached to their mates fluttered all around me. Lost in the cloud of coupled bugs, I swished and swatted until I had chased them all back outside. Nonetheless, I could not swat away what they had reminded me of which, being the dire, hopeless romantic that I am, was all I had ever wanted. However, just as quickly as this little insect army of amore flew in, so did the realization that I was looking for love from the wrong place: boys.

I had found love from boys at an early age. My first boyfriend ever came before I was even a teenager. He left me when a new, prettier girl joined us on our school bus the beginning of my eighth grade year. Crushed, I moved on into high school where half of my identity through those high school years was found in that of my other half – my high school sweetheart. Ever so appropriate for a hopeless romantic, and having dated him for over four years, four of my most influential, coming-of-age years, he truly had completed me in a sense. His love for me gave me confidence, fulfillment, and happiness – or so I thought. Then, all of this love boiled down to sex or lack thereof so he left me. Boys, just about as dumb as those lovebugs sometimes.

They can also be just as pesky and unavoidable as well. In the months after my breakup with my high school sweetheart, now in college I was surrounded by a barrage of new boys who, unfortunately, like the lovebugs that day I let my dog in, just flew right past me, un-phased entirely. I was desperately trying to catch one feeling incomplete without someone to love me.

Crushes came and went but, on the whole, I was unsuccessful. No one seemed to be crushing me back. With my first year of college ending and heading back home for the summer, I had begrudgingly resolved to be single. It was then that a boy unexpectedly flew into my life. We had quite a glorious, whirlwind romance consisting of an array of exciting, adventuresome dates complete with fireworks and shooting stars; I am not even kidding. Despite this seemingly dream come true for my hopeless romantic self, as sophomore year approached he would be heading off to college in North Carolina while I would remain in South Carolina for school so I was content to leave our relationship as a summer fling. However, like those lovebugs, he was pesky and persistent. As a result, despite my inhibitions and after warning him of the difficulties of long distance on any relationship, particularly our budding one that lacked a strong foundation, I agreed to be his girlfriend – ever eager for love.

Big mistake. Not even one month into school, he wanted a break. This in turn, broke my heart. Out of nowhere, he had moved on and left me lonely, unloved, and with an aching heart. All of my worries and fears at the summer’s end were staring me dead in the face. So, I cried my tears and took down our couple picture and proceeded to the aforementioned female rockers with the empowering break-up songs. Then came the lovebugs and their unexpected lesson.

Now, by the inclination those insects led me to, I have realized that I have to heal my heart and make it whole by loving me all by myself. Once I can do that, just like those rocker chicks rave about, I will not need a man. Although, once I reach that point, I’ll be ready for one and hopefully then the boys will be just like those lovebugs in that I will attract so many, I will have to swat to keep them all away.